Hey guys,
Thankfully, the depression doesn't come on that often, only after a few "bad days", so-to-speak. I can see now that the anxiety, plus the frustration, is the cause. I am still learning how to cope and how to accept this as part of my life.
Part of the problem is that I grew up with a father and older brother who both suffered from severe panic attacks and anxiety. It was my biggest fear growing up...I never wanted to "end up" like them. and I, too, considered myself the "strong" one, the most "capable" and confident of my family....so when this all started, it was very, very hard to take. And it's all still so new to me...I want to wake up and be "normal" again...but I am begininng to (slowly) come to terms with it, and I am trying to realize that I am going to have "good days" and "bad days". (I am using a lot of " marks in this post...)
I know with time I will at least get to a level where I can have some balance. It's just going to take some time, I guess...
Since both depression and anxiety can be due to chemical imbalances they often appear together. I started with panic attacks that turned into panic disorder which has a general anxiety component. Feeling like I would never get this under control would bring about depression. I remember feeling so overwhelmed that I would go to my room and have a good cry. I would ask myself "Why me?" I was the strong one in the family; both my siblings had drug and alcohol problems. I had been happily married for over 20 years and had three wonderful children. My life was damn near perfect. I lost my Dad and my step-dad within a month of each other and BANG, the panic attacks. My pottassium bottomed out and I ended up in ICU. I can blame that on stress, but what about now? I still require meds. It never went away. Also some people do react to SSRI's. There are studies showing that some people can become severely depressed and even suicidal. I would definitely talk to your doctor and explain the depression you are feeling, even if you continue to take the Lexapro. Good luck!
No thanks needed. We are here to help each other out. See doctors used to always tell me I suffered from depression. I always no, it was only anxiety. But my anxiety could leave me feeling down because it was hampering me doing things I wished I could do. I kind of think you might be in the same sort of boat. Tears are natural when feeling down. Boys do cry. We'll put that old saying about ' boys don't cry ' to rest. Anxiety can bring about lots of tears when you feel there is nothing you can do and you don't fully understand what is happening to you. The sort of ' why me ' feeling. But once we learn where it is all coming from we can learn to face up to it. Bad days will always occur. No matter how much time we have of feeling great. It is how we react when we get a bad day after so many good days. We can let it drag us down further. Or we can say ' it is just a bad day '. Each day is a new beginning. Don't be afraid to let those emotions flow freely. That in itself is a form of theraphy used. Better than keeping it all in. That can cause even more damage. At best I can say when you feel depressed to study your mood, reactions, thoughts and see how you are viewing the situation. Then see could you have viewed it any other sort of way. In other words, there is always more than one answer. Even use this thread to vent when down. If will do you good.
Oh, I am certain it is caused by the anxiety...whenever I feel "defeated" by the anxiety, the depression comes on, but it is pretty intense...like someone's sitting on top of me...I can barely talk when it happens, and I feel like I am on the verge of tears at every second. It is a feeling I am SO unaccustomed to...
I can also see that what brought on the depression this time was the "relaps", so-to-speak, of having gone through a few good days and then going back deeper into the anxiety...it just threw me for a loop.
when it comes on though, it seems almost impossiible to fight...
Thanks for your response, it means a lot to get feedback...
Are you depressed because you are anxious? If the anxiety suddenly lifted, let's just say, would you feel a lot better in yourself? I know the two can go hand in hand. But you can also people who feel down because anxiety is holding them back. We see where it all started. That is obvious. Your wife's health concern. Just to talk about depression. What thoughts go through your mind when you are depressed? Is there any one thing that you think of? Maybe we can put a handle on the situation. And work things from there. Just to try and understand why the depression is kicking in. Normally a change in life can bring depression or anxiety on. With you it was anxiety first. Hence I am wondering if it is only the anxiety making you feel down. Answer whatever questions you feel comfortable answering and somebody might have more to add to the sollution. It is better to try and find the root cause. Caertain times of the day. When certain things occur and the likes. That way we can build a bigger picture.