I subscribe to a gym in April 2009 and at the same time panic attacks start again. That’s when I start developing a cardiophobia. After 3 months of training at the gym, I just decided to stop going to the gym because the panic and fear of dying from a heart disease. Panic never stop, even after I stop the gym. I started to experience panic while I had to drive my car, it was new for me. I call them "normal" panic attack, mean fast pulse rate 160-180, dizziness, depersonalisation, and last 5 minutes or less. My PDoc put me on the Paxil, the problem resolve after 3 months, but I gained more than 30 pounds and for me, the weight gain was a problem cause I had morbid obesity and a gastric by-pass in the past so I stopped the Paxil in October 2009 because I was thinking that I will be ok and free of panic without the Paxil and the cardiophobia had decrease on the Paxil, in fact it disappear. But I was so wrong, the panic return with vengeance and it worse than ever, and the cardiophobia start again and is also worse.
I tried several times to go back on Paxil since then but I wasn't able, because it increased the number of panic attacks and the severity of my anxiety symptoms, even at 1 mg day, who is 1/10 the normal starting dosage, had to go to the emergency one day because of the 1 mg dose of Paxil and the fast heart beat who didn’t want to stop. I think I develop a meds phobia now and it's why I can't return on them. When I take them, I have a high anticipatory level for the side-effects and I think it's all psychological, but can't stop the constant worry about the possibility that I will have a heart problem and big panic because of the meds. I hate when I don't have the control of my body and it's the main problem of all the people who suffer from panic I think. In the past, a 60 mg/day was a normal dose of Paxil with no side-effect.
Since 1 year, my anxiety became unbearable, in fact each week I’m having new and chronic anxiety symptoms which add up to the other. The obsession with my pulse rate is now really high, can’t stop it, sometimes I take my pulse rate more than 100 times a day. Blood pressure didn’t worry me a lot, was used to take it 3-4 times a day but now don’t take it often.
I had heart test done this year, 24 hour holter monitor, stress testing, several ECG and the Cardiologist say my heart is fine, but I can't stop thinking that he his not right and that I’m having a real heart problem.
Last June, I had what I call the worse panic attack of my life, it was so severe, that I faint. That's when I decide that I will not drive again until my panic will be under control. It's have nothing to do with the normal panic attack with rapid heart beat of 160-180 pulses minute or the little chest pain who stop after the panic or the dizziness. My pulse rate go higher than 230 for sure, I was with my best friend in the car and he try to take my pulse rate and he was not able to count the heart beat cause it was too fast, and that friend his a nurse, so he know what he do. I had a lot of skipped heart beats, I wasn't able to breath, and it was the first time I had severe chest pain, who was like something very heavy was sit on my sternum, and it's because of the chest pain that I faint! Hopefully, I wasn't alone and my best friend bring me to the emergency who I had another ECG, who show only the fast heart beat, it was around 210 when I was rushed to the emergency but the chest pain never disappear since then. They give me some morphine to reduce the chest pain, who didn't relieve the pain, put me under oxygen, who did nothing, they took X-ray of my lungs, who was perfect, and my blood work was also perfect, so I was send home and the Doc say it was only a panic attack with no heart problem. He said to take it easy and relax! My heart can also go very slow now, something I never live in the past. Sometimes it’s around 50-55, who is weird for me and not usual. It’s seem like now it’s never in the normal range… always too fast or always too slow…
I have chronic chest pain now, some day it's worse than other, especially when I have to go out of the house.
2 weeks ago, I was on the highway in my mom car, wasn’t the driver, and I had this urge adrenaline release with the very fast pulse rate and the bad chest pain and I faint again! It was like the big panic attack I had last June, same pain in the chest, the fast pulse rate of 230 or higher. It’s really freaking! Since then, If I have to go out of the house in car, even if it’s near my home, I have panic attack and strong chest pain.
Of course, now I’m dealing with agoraphobia, when I’m out of my house, I feel worse and all my chronic anxiety symptoms increase by 10 at least.
Since that big panic attack in June and the newer one I done 2 weeks ago, I’m having also newer anxiety symptoms. Constant headache ( I can feel my heart beat on my left temple on the head all the time, who don’t help the cardiophobia problem), constant vertigo-diziness, hot sensation on my head, ears and neck pain, constant numbness of my left arm and left hand, lower legs pain, constipation and pain in my belly and gas, chronic jaw pain (can't chew a gum or my food) and teeth pain, chronic eyes pain (they are all red and they burn all the time), I’m always tired physically and can't just take a walk or climb the stairs without feeling like I will pass out, I can't concentrate, if I focus too much on the Television or the computer screen I start feeling bad and anxious and my head hurt a lot and my eyes also (my eyes are fine, I've got them check), just take my shower make me extremely tired for the rest of the day, I do each day panic attacks who are milder than the big one I do last June and they happen everywhere when I’m sit in front of the TV or the computer, in my shower, when I smoke my first cigarette in the morning, strong tinnitus in my 2 ears all the time (buzzing sound who make me almost crazy), I’m intolerant to loud noise (can't listen to my music and music if almost everything in my life), can't be surrounded by a lot of people at the same time because I become dizzy, extremely tired physically and the headache and tinnitus increase a lot when that happen (family supper for example). I constantly ruminate, can't stop thinking, sometimes I think I will become crazy because of that, it's worse when it's time to go to bed. I have insomnia (wake up early) but even when I succeed to sleep more than 7 hours in a row, I feel completely exhausted, I have clammy hands and feet all the times, actually I can see water in the lines of my hands, I also have a chronic pain in my back. Can’t push to hard if I have a bowel movement to do because I become a lot dizzy and will see white and black small circles and the list goes on.
I just done a 12 weeks group therapy for panic disorder with agoraphobia, I had a book to read, I had progressive exposure exercises to do each week and a lot of papers to fill out. I was in shock to see that nobody else in the group had chronic anxiety and panic at home, everyone in the group with agoraphobia felt good when they were home and had only panic and anxiety when they was out of their house. They all have their own safety zone, but not me!!! I was the only one with panic and chronic anxiety symptoms in my own home!!! They also all improve... some of them weren’t able to drive at week one and was able to drive on the highway at week 6! But not me! I was so hopeless and wasn't able to do the progressive exposure exercises. No improve in 12 weeks.
I’m the only one here who have all those kind of symptoms?
My PDoc think I’m having adrenal glands fatigue... he's right or not? I had a cortisol test last week, will see the result... maybe he will send me to see an endocrinologist.
Any kind of answer or tips will be welcome!!! I feel very alone in that situation...
Thanks everyone and another time, sorry for the long post!!!
I understand that you've been to your doctor, but you have so many issues, some of which I don't think have been looked at closely enough or have be completely ignored. I would urge you to revisit your doctor with this list of symptoms and concerns. Your p-doc seems to be on the right path, sending you for specific tests, but nobody seems to be looking at the whole you! I don't know how long you've been seeing your psychiatrist, but many of your issues need to be addressed by him, and some by specialists. Don't be afraid to ask your doctor to refer you to specialist. Personally, even though your GP has stated your heart is fine, you've mentioned some symptoms that I feel a cardilogist should be evaluating. Other specialists that I believe would help you are an endocronolosgist and an EENT, possibly others, like a pulmanologist since you state that taking a shower will exhaust you for the entire day. This is not right and also should be evaluated.
Don't feel alone. Many of us have multiple symptoms and it just takes a bit of teamwork to figure it all out. Be proactive in your own care and don't let any doctor blow your symptoms off as simple anxiety until everything else has been ruled out.
Please keep us updated on how you're doing, OK? And write anytime you need to talk.
Thanks for your answer. I agress with you, most of the PDoc, Doctors and Psychologist will put the blame entirely on the anxiety and say that it's only severe panic disorder with agoraphobia and OCD about my heart, they will say that it's normal that i'm exhausted cause the anxiety overactive my cardiovascular system and my minds are always running fast so that's why i'm tired all the time, but I don't stop to complain and told them that it's not normal to feel like I feel now!!! The PDoc don't refer his patients to specialist, well not mine, if I want a reference, I need to see my Family Doc, who is a specialist in the depressive/anxious disorders. I think I do a mistake in my first post when I say that my PDoc wanted me to have my cortisol level test, it's not him but my Family Doc who send me to the hospital for that test.
The last time I see my Family Doc in November, I say to him that what I live now is not normal and that I just feel worse and worse and I say "maybe I have something else than severe anxiety?"... and he ask me what I think I have and I answer that it's maybe a Cardiac problem, or my lungs since I smoke a lot, or maybe an infection, food allergies, hypoglicemia... He say that it's all in my head and it's only anxiety, it took more than 15 minutes to be able to have the bloodwork test paper because at first he didn't want that I had my cortisol level tested!!!
I see him again in 2 weeks, will have the results for my cortisol test as well as for the thyroid (TSH, T3, T4) and other things like that... I should ask to be refer to some specialists, an endocronnologist for sure, I just hope I will not have to fight with him to have a reference paper because just a cortisol test will not give the whole picture of what happen with my adrenal glands, so it's the first thing I will ask. I will also ask for food allergies since i'm sure some foods trigger panic on me, especially cheese, meat, sugar (rafined or not), soy.
For the Cardiologist, I seen 2 different Cardiologists in less than 6 months. I seen the first one in March 2010, at the time, my symptoms was different of what I live now. I had mainly chronic headache with a very low pulse rate, the panic attack was more under control, had only 2-3 a week... I had the holter 24 hour test and the stress test with the ultrasound of my heart in March... Since then, things change a lot, the bigger panic attack with the fainting appear, my heart start having a weird pulse rate (always too low or too fast), the chest pain appear, the heartbeat feeling on my left temple on my head appear as well and extreme fatigue appear also. All those thing appears in June 2010, so 3 monts after I see the first cardiologist, so that's why I ask to see another one. I seen the second Cardiologist in October 2010, he explain that the extreme fatigue after the shower was comming from the anxiety, since I had morbid obesity for a good part of my life and I had a gastric by-pass, he explain that it can affect my heart since loosing more than 250 pounds can lead to that. He say that he have put pacemaker often on peoples who had a gastric by-pass, because the heart is used to pump harder to provide blood to the whole body and since now my body is smaller than before, my heart continue to pump but I have less blood, so it's creating pain in my chest and the weird heart beat... He ask me to put more salt in my food and put my legs in the air for 30 minutes each evening and to do this for 6 months and call him after to see if the problems resolves... But since I put more salt in my food, it's worse than ever, my legs are more painful.... He talk about the possibility to RX to me a Beta-Blocker med call Acetubolol, but I told him that I had already some Inderal, who is another Beta-blocker, and it's not decreasing my cardiac symptoms and certainly not help me with the chest pain or decrease the number of panic disorder I do each day.
Well, I write too much again, sorry!!! I'm just very scare, I don't know what happen to me since 6 months and it's hard to believe it's all linked to the anxiety and only psychological. I always was an anxious person, had panic and social phobia in my teen years, and in my adult life of course, was able to control the panic with the Paxil and Therapy for years and was free of panic without meds and any kind of therapy for a good 8 years. So I know my body, I know my anxiety and I know my limits and it's not normal to feel exhausted and tired like this, and it's not normal that tasks like focusing on my computer screen or the TV trigger panic attacks on me.
Yes I can admit that I have a cardiophobia and that i'm very sensible to my heart. I also admit that I can fead my fears with my bad thoughs or negatives thoughs, but I have so many symptoms that I think it's normal to feel hopeless and be always anxious but it's certainly not giving all of the symptoms I have right now!
I will let you know what happen for sure. Just hope the Family Doc will want to refer me to other specialist!!!
I forget to mention some important informations...
I've seen a Neurologist at the end of May 2010, I had to implore my Family Doc to be able to have a reference paper to see one. I was thinking that it will be a great idea, since the Neurologist will understand more what happen with my brain and the problems with my neurotransmitters and will maybe help me more with the chronic headache.
When I meet her, she didn't had seen my medical folder and she was not aware of my anxiety problems or anything else. She told me that she was able to see, just by the way I act, that I had severe social phobia and panic disorder. She explained to me that she guessed all of this only by watching me in her waiting room. I was amazed, I didn't realise that just with my facial expression or my body could be said as much about my self and the way I feel !!!
I had a full blood work done for that appointment. My thyroid was ok, just in the middle range, all my vitamins, including the all the B vitamins level was perfect, also the homocysteine level was ok with a 8,1 level (lower limit are 4.3 and upper limit is 9.9) who mean low potential dangers for a cardiac problem. She Rx some vitamins, especially high dose of folic acid as well as a Vitamine B complex call 3B who is made of Vitamins B1- B6 and B12, she said that it will lower my level to the lower limit and minimise the risk of any cardiovascular diseases since a 8,1 was not high, but with the number of panic attack I can do each week, it will certainly help to prevent heart dammage if I lower homocycteine level to 5... The main problem is the fact that i'm intolerant with the high dose of folic acid, it's lowering my blood pressure to the point that I have orthostatic hypotension and the Vit 3B complex increase the skip heart beat. So I didn't take it for more than 2 weeks.
She also explain that I had a very low serotonin level, who can lead to high level of Dopamine and Noradrenaline and that's probably why i'm dealing with such a high anxiety level and that can explain a lot of my symptoms. She said that i'm med sensitive now, who is normal when the serotonin level is low, didn't understand what she mean, but well.... she RX an old med to prevent the migraine, it's call Sandomigran, I think it's not sell in the USA or not use often, just in the Canada... Anyway, it's a med who act as an antagonist of severals serotonin receptors like the 5HT2C-5Ht2B-5HT1B as well... with some dirty side-effects since it's a derriative med made from the old TCA's... She explained that taking that med in the same time than the Paxil will reduce the side-effects of the Paxil, because when you first start a SSRI med, the anxiety always increase for the 3-4 first weeks cause the serotonin receptors need to be desensitize, so taking the Sandomigran will automatically desensitize the 5HT2C receptor, who is responsible of the increasement of the anxiety with the SSRI... Of course, I try the Sandomigran alone first and was not able to deal with the side-effects, it was more anxious and had more panic under that med. I took it only 2 weeks but at the same time, I try to take the Paxil with it and it was a disaster, worse than just taking the Paxil alone...
She also RX for my chronic headache the unfamous med call Topamax, who I call "Dopamax" cause it's making me completly stupid, I told her about the fact that I took that med in the past for the headache and it didn't work but she said that I need it and that I will need to be on it maybe for all my life with the Paxil to prevent the releapse of the panic disorder and help me with the social phobia...
Anyway, I call her 2 months later to told her that I wasn't able to tolerate the meds and vitamins she RX to me and she say that it was my problem and that I needed to see my Family Doc because she wasn't able to do more for me!!! She don't even ask me to have other tests like a MRI of the brain or of my neck, to see if something is wrong with it...
Another thing... When I had my first big panic attack with the fainting episode in the middle of June, it took more than 2 months before I was able to be in a car as a passenger. I had also more panic attack at home, especially in the shower or when I had to do task like write a long e-mail or watch the TV or a manual task. In the car, even on the small roads it was a pure torture for me, you know the feeling when you are in a roller coaster, the bad feeling like adrenaline release you can feel when because of the slope of the first hill??? I was feeling like that each time I was in a car. Since I had to go each week to the psychologist, I was always in panic in the car, had to bring a bootle of water, a ice pack that I had to put on my head when I had a panic attack or just the fast heart beat. At the same time, it's when the jaw pain start as well as the heartbeat feeling on my left temple of my head or the left arm pit pain...
Of course, after 2 months, I don't know why, but I was able to be in a car without having panic or fast heartbeat!!! I was also able to stay home alone, take my shower or watch the TV without having a panic attack... I even stopped putting the phone beside my bed before going to bed in case I had a cardiac problem in the night... At the same time, I had more and more weird symptoms, but it was like I was more focusing on those new symptoms than the fear of having another big panic attack with the strong chest pain and the fainting!!! One week I was completely obsessed with the jaw pain, the week after I was obsessed with the heartbeat that I feel on my left temple on the head, the week after I was obsessed with the lower legs pain... it's seem to me like a pattern... I mean it's looking like when I focusing on something else than the panic and chest pain, I can forget the panic and the fear of dying from a cardiac problem... that's maybe why all my doctors think it's just anxiety related???
Anyways, like I wrote yesterday, I had another big panic in the car 2 weeks ago and I live the exact same situation than in last june... The panic attack start again in the shower, when i'm in front of my computer, when I watch the TV... I feel as if at any time my heart would start racing, that I will have a panic and die. That's really hard to live like this for now.
As an example, yesterday I help my mom with the Christmas tree. I bring some boxes from the basement to the first floor and I had a panic attack, just because of the racing heart, not a big one but enough to make me very tired and make me feel miserable for the rest of the day. After the panic, I help my mom to put the lights on the three, I don't know why but i'm very sensible to the light, especially the new kind of light like the DEL... they are too bright, it's very aggressive, same for the TV or the computer... they hurt my eyes, increase my chest pain and the headache, and they trigger panic!!! We spend almost 1 hour to put the lights in the tree and just the fact that I focus 1 hour on the lights trigger another panic... I had to return the empty boxes in the basement, another time I had a panic... I can tell you that I was completly drained of my energy after that. I spend the rest of the evening on the couch, took my pulse rate several times, headache was strong to the point that the heart beat feeling on the left temple trigger another panic!... I hate feeling that way and it's not a life... Me you was used to get out every night before, to go for a drink with my friends, go downtown to have a long walk, eat at the restaurant almost 6 evenings a week, now i'm alone all the time, my friends stop calling me cause I can't go out and drive, so i'm sit all the evening, alone in my living room and only think about my anxiety problems and the symptoms and just think about how all of this will end... if I will be able to heal from all those symptoms, if I will be able one day to go out of the house alone like before and be able to do my things alone, to have a normal life with my friends and go out again...
I just hope it will not take another 2 months before I will be able to be in a car or going out of the house!!!
Since it's christmas soon, and I live with my parents temporary, I will have to participate to the family dinner... my mom recieve all my family the 24-25 december, around 20 persons. Will have no choice to be there... I don't know where or how I will be able to find the energy to pass through all of this... Can't even converse normally with someone for more than 10 minutes without feeling exhausted to the point that it's ending with a panic... i'm terrified.
Also have to go to the PDoc next week, don't know if I will be able to go there by car. Same for the Family doc in 2 weeks...
I konw, it's sound like I have a high level of apprehension and I think that's true....
I think a major influence on your anxiety was being obese and having that thought in your head that it damged your heart. However, the heart isn't brittle it is a strong muscle that doesn't just stop pumping unless something catastrophic happens. I was having very bad anxiety and panic attacks six months ago, i would go into the doctors office and my BP would be 160/90 and HR 160. I'm only 19 so that is weird. My anxiety is very low right now because of the 30mgs citalopram (celexa) and 0.5 mgs clonazepam. I also lost 40 pounds and am within normal weight limits, I do not smoke or consume caffeine and i also bought a home blood pressure monitor just to assure myself that i don't have high blood pressure. If you're worried about your heart the first step is to stop smoking, it is a major risk factor for coronary artery disease and high cholesterol as nicotine makes your arteries 'sticky'
Hummmm, I think my morbid obesity affect my health or my anxiety as much and I don't worry about it. The gastric by-pass I had 9 years ago was a miracle for me, since i'm a child I had to be on strict diet... The by-pass I had is not like the regular gastric by-pass they do in the USA, it's a different one who work with the malabsorbtion of the food, they by-pass 3/4 of the intestine, so the absorbtion of food occur only at a 30% level, you mean that I have to take huge amount of Vitamins daily, especially the fat solube vitamines (A-D) and iron). My Vitamins level are check every 3 months with a bloodwork and they are under control for now.
Before that gastric by-pass, I was obese but I was very strong and had a lot of energy, was able to exercise a lot, had a physical work, never complaint about a lack of energy or pain or anything else. Yeah, I had a panic disorder problem who start around the age of 19yo but it was under control for years. I never care about my heart!!! Never never never... all of this start at the gym... Before the gym, my fear about the panic attack was not about dying from a heart attack but more the fear of the others seeing me having a panic.... but I never fear a heart attack or to black out... I had normal panic, like I call them... totally different from now.
I see a difference in my level of energy and physical energy after the gastric by-pass surgery BUT it's the first time I feel that way. Even in 2009, I had severe anemia with a low hemoglobin level, had to go to the hospital each week to receive intravenous iron treatment for months, had also some blood transfusions... at the same time I was going to the gym, yeah I had panic attacks at the gym, but was able to workout a little bit and never felt exhausted like today (now my iron and hemoglobin level are normal) and I never notice that I had a low hemoglobin level of 64, when the minimum level is 120, the Doc didn't understand how I survive to this... When they call me to give me the results of my blood work and told me that I had NO iron in my blood and a very low hemoglobin level, I was very surprise. They ask me to go to the emergency and was keep at the hospital for 4 days... The low hemoglobin and iron happen because I had bleeding internal hemorroids (hemorrhoids).
Anyway, the panic start again at the gym last year and it was also around the same time that I start to bleed more from the hemorroids (hemorrhoids)... The Surgeon told me that my headache, panic attack and fast pulse rate at the gym was created by the lack of oxygen into my blood... She also said that my headache and small lack of energy was the effect of the low hemoglobin and the no iron level in my blood.
Of course, I had a surgery for my hemorroids (hemorrhoids) in November 2009... The iron and hemoglobin level return rapidly to the normal range and the panic continue and the headache became chronic and worse than ever...
One thing I notice, the surgery for the hemorroids (hemorrhoids) was a lot painful, in fact worse than all the other surgeries I had in the past. Each time I had to go to the bathroom for a bowel movement, I had a panic attack, and the pain after the surgey last 1 month, so I had a 1 month of panic on the toilet, 5-6 times a day... (yeah, 5-6 times a day because of the by-pass...).
So I always wonder if the pain from the surgery was linked to the high level of anxiety and panic I have now?!? A kind of post-traumatic event?
Anyways, you are young for high blood pressure. Also, it's probably the first antidepressant med you try no? For the 0.5mg of Clonazepam, that's low also and that's good like that!!! Don't increase the dose and if you can, taper it slowly when you will be sure the 30 mg of Celexa will be the good dose for the control of your panic. Benzo meds are very addictive, and they lead to rebound anxiety and pop-out fast, so you always need to increase the dose until you reach the maximum dose...
Also, it's normal that the blood pressure increase when you do a panic attack and 160/90 is normal... I had 150/100 without panic and never had anxiety or never worry about it in the past... When I first start the gym, while I was doing cardio exercise, my blood pressure was going above 170/110 and I was not scare... but the pulse rate was the thing who scared me a lot. it was often above 180... For the heart rate, 160 is also low for a panic attack, nothing to be scare... The last time I had my blood pressure monitor while I had a panic, it was at the hospital and my pulse rate was at 231... and blood pressure was not very high something like 149/95... but for the pulse rate, i'm not sure the machine was right cause that's almost impossible to take the pulse rate of a heart in the middle of a panic attack with a machine, even a professional machine like the one they have at the hospital... The only way to know your pulse rate when you have a panic attack is to take it with your fingers on your wrist. At 230 and above, especially when the heart beat became irregular and the chest pain is very strong, that's scary... black out is scary, especially if that happen while you drive... that's what I call big panic attack... and I don't think that a heart can beat at 230 and more for a long time and it's possible to have a suddent cardiac arrest, especially when the heart beat is not regular... some studies about panic attack and heart attack are interresting to read on pub med...
I also stop drinking coffee last year, the PDoc wanted me to stop, but it's never help me for the anxiety, in fact I have more headache since I stop the coffee and feel more tired, especially in the afternoon and on the evening. I try to drink coffee again but I felt so bad after... so I think it's a good thing for me that I stop, even if it's not helping me with the anxiety. Caffeine is an addictive drug... I avoid also tea, even the decaffeineted tea or coffee, I don't eah any kind of chocolate and I don't drink coke or pepsi and I avoid all those kind of stuff with caffeine inside.
I own a home blood pressure monitor, in fact it's not mine, it's for my dad, who have high blood pressure, he take one med for this, and he have to monitor his blood pressure each day. I use it sometimes, but not often now. I find that the blood pressure don't bother me as much as the pulse rate... the pulse rate make me crazy and those machine are not good to give the exact pulse rate measure. It's better to take it youself...
I know that I have to stop smoking, I buy last week my nicotine patch... it's just very hard to quit when you are so anxious... BUT I agree that I should quit because I know that it's the worse thing for the heart!!!
For the high cholesterol, mine is very low... the good cholesterol is normal and the bad cholesterol is very low, thanks to the gastric by-pass... I don't absorb the fat I eat, it's going directly into the toilet!!!
The main problem with the cigarettes is not the nicotine, the nicotine only affect the addiction, increase the pulse rate and affect the dopamine level in the brain. The main problem is the 3999 others toxic substances into the cigarette smoke, they are the ones to blame for the heart related problem, especially the TAR who make the arteries "thick" and "hard"...
Well, take care of you and thanks for your support ;-)
Hi there, i was looking to draw your attention soo i created that post (can t send private pm or add you as friend), i know that this was created years ago but still have mild hope you will answer. I recognise myself a lot when i read you, althought my panik attack are baby attack compared to yours (bpm170), but i folllowed same path , gym -> attack , was heavy weed smoker when young and had first panick attack after using cocaine, also am phobic of medecine or anything that changes perception (loosing control) . it would be great if you could reply to me here or in private , even if you don t like to talk , just show a sign of life, it would prove me that even with such monster panic attack , you still alive and haven t turn insane. thank you verry much, crossing fingers here !!
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