Should I Get Some Help...Please Respond!

Hello all,

I've written quite a few posts on the Eye Conditions part of this site, and maybe one or two on this part...so for people who don't know me yet, my name is Jim. I'm 19, and have had anxiety disorder for almost 5 months. I've had it all...OCD, Anxiety, major depression, fear of getting diseases (most notably cancer.)

On Tuesday, I went to a nero-opthamologist for some quite harmless problem I was having with my eyes. For about 2 months, I had been seeing halos around lights. It wasn't bothering me too much; but my regular eye doctor thought I should go get further testing to see what it was, so I went. Well, it turns out the halos are just a refractive problem...but the nero-opthamologist looked behind my eyes, and saw that I have a very "pale optic nerve." I had no idea what that was, of course, so I went home and researched it (he wasn't going to tell me). It's pretty much like what happens if you wrap a wire or something tight across your finger...it turns white. This is happening to my optic nerve. The most notable cause for this is a brain tumor. This was NOT something I needed to hear, especially because one of my main fears is cancer. So I called the neuro-opthamologist back, and he scheduled an MRI for me...for next Friday. And then he told me the earliest appointment he had for me to come back was in the beginning of February. So I wouldn't be getting the results of my MRI back until then.

It's been three days since I found out I may have a brain tumor...and I can't function. At all. I'm a homeschooled student, and doing my schoolwork is practically impossible. I can't eat, or sleep. When I do sleep, I dream I'm dying of cancer, and I wake up screaming. Plus I have this worsening (at least, I think it is) condition with my left eye, which is making me think more and more I have a tumor pressing on my nerve. Of course, there's a good chance I don't have anything wrong with me at all. But the main thing that I need help with now is the anxiety. It's affecting me in every way of my life. I have to prepare for my SATs that I'm taking in two weeks...and I know if I don't get help by then, I won't be able to take them successfully...and because I'm 19, it's my only shot. I do see a mental health therapist for the anxiety...but she's on vacation for three weeks, and I have no way to contact her. So I'm thinking I should just check myself into a hospital...possibly get the MRI a lot sooner. And if not, I can at least get some anxiety medication. Any suggestions??

-Jim

[suzi-q]

First of all, most likely you do NOT have a brain tumor because age is on your side.  I know that it is always possible, but the odds are slim....so that is GOOD.  Next, when you google things EVERYTHING that you do points to cancer. (my major fear also)  A runny nose will point to cancer, so STOP googling!  Did this doctor say "brain tumor" or are you saying it?  Did he schedule the MRI because of your call back or did he already do it?  Even though your appt. isn't until February, there is still no reason why he cannot speak to you on the phone with your results. Also, I have found that if they did find ANYTHING wrong with the MRI, the doctor WILL NOT wait until the beginning of Feb. to tell you...he would call right away.  Do you have a regular physician whom you see?  If so, see if he can get you the MRI sooner...or possibly something to help with the anxiety.  I know how you are feeling.  Many of us feel this way all the time...just try to tell yourself that it is most likely nothing serious and if by some slim chance it is, it does not mean that it is a death sentence!  Remember, if it is a tumor (which it won't be) many tumors are benign...it doesn't mean cancer.  I hope I helped.  Take care and keep us updated.  WE CARE ABOUT YOU!

[suzi-q]

First of all, most likely you do NOT have a brain tumor because age is on your side.  I know that it is always possible, but the odds are slim....so that is GOOD.  Next, when you google things EVERYTHING that you do points to cancer. (my major fear also)  A runny nose will point to cancer, so STOP googling!  Did this doctor say "brain tumor" or are you saying it?  Did he schedule the MRI because of your call back or did he already do it?  Even though your appt. isn't until February, there is still no reason why he cannot speak to you on the phone with your results. Also, I have found that if they did find ANYTHING wrong with the MRI, the doctor WILL NOT wait until the beginning of Feb. to tell you...he would call right away.  Do you have a regular physician whom you see?  If so, see if he can get you the MRI sooner...or possibly something to help with the anxiety.  I know how you are feeling.  Many of us feel this way all the time...just try to tell yourself that it is most likely nothing serious and if by some slim chance it is, it does not mean that it is a death sentence!  Remember, if it is a tumor (which it won't be) many tumors are benign...it doesn't mean cancer.  I hope I helped.  Take care and keep us updated.  WE CARE ABOUT YOU!

[Jim123456]

Thanks for helping me feel better. I know it's not likely that I have a brain tumor...but that's how anxiety is for me. When I had a cold a few weeks ago, I thought I had a tumor in my sinuses! It never wins. And when I went to doctor he did set the MRI up, but he never actually used the term "brain tumor." What he said was, "you could have something pressing on your nerve." Which really isn't any better. But he also said it could be the result of a condition I've had for a long time now. So I don't know. And I don't have a regular doctor I could go see for the anxiety, because the regular doctor I used to have stopped seeing me because my insurance changed. Now I don't have a regular doctor, even though I've looked everywhere for one. Which makes it a lot worse, because I just know I can't just go to a doctor if I need to.
But again, thanks for helping me. I know by tomorrow I'll be feeling the same way again...but at least I'll feel better for a few hours.
-Jim

[MMomma]

ok first off ur 19 the odds of a bran tumor are slim to none, and the odds of a anurism are 0 for the fact  theyd kill u in about 3days. i definetly sudgest u get a mri/catscan etc to be sure theres no brain tumor and from there on seek psych help and medication is also not a bad thing. the halo vision and other symptoms you explained can defiently be symptoms of anxiety.. i sudgest you take care of ur physica issues and be sure of things and consider further treatment from there.. good luck

kalmkidd

[Jim123456]

You can check for brain tumors with a CAT Scan? I asked that eye doctor, because I don't like to be closed in, and I know I wouldn't be able to stand an MRI for an hour unless I was seriously doped up on medicine...lol. But the eye dr. said I could only have an MRI. I'll ask him again, though.
-Jim