Social Anxiety has become debilitating

[cbybee310]

I have no social support, my family is in a religion that I've rejected so they have banished me.  My wife is spending 6 months in China with my 2 year old son and I have no social support, no friends or other family, close to where I live.  When asked if I want to join colleagues, I stand them up.  I'm just too nervous around other people in a social setting.  I'm OK in big crownds or one-on-one but with two or more other people I clam up and get very nervous.  This is affecting my self-esteme, which is cross contaminating my work and other social situations.  I spent all 4 days off of work just lying on the couch at home, wanting to go out to be with people but I'm too anxious.  When I do meet someone in public and they start a casual converstation, I tend to be quirky because I feel a need to entertain but have little experience, in other words I try too hard and they give off a "weirdo" vibe about me.  I'm good looking and otherwise healthy but this ailment is preventing me from making the most out of my life.  Can someone offer some help?   Advise?  P.S. I'm not religious so joining a congregation or synagog would be contrary to my belief system.

[cmjames2828]

I had the same thing it didnt occur to me till  my freshman year in college when i attended a huge classroom of kids. I couldnt stand sitting there i had to get up and leave. In effect i threw away my freshman years first semester then i went to a doctor and got medication which is helping me and i have a great social life. however once u start a medication it is very easy to become addicted to it. Are you on any medications??????? and dont worry this is cureable but someone who has no idea about it will never ever understand

[strangedork]

Before starting meds you should know that they can slowly become ineffectual. I was like cmjames.  I started on paxil, and finally became a normal person with friends.  Was on it for years.  Some doctors would withhold my prescription, as a bargaining tool to get me to get medical tests or what not.  Going off the meds cold turkey is awful so I'd do whatever the doctor said (which still pisses me off that doctors would do this.)  Over time, however, my anxiety even when on paxil started coming back.  Then we lost our insurance, so for the last 9 months I've slowly been trying to get off it.  It's been terrible!  All the problems I had before are all coming back.  Even though the paxil wasn't working great, it obviously kept some of the anxiety down.  I've heard cognitive behavoral therapy is a more permanent solution, so now I'm considering that.  (Another thing with the meds is that you can get an extreme craving for alcohol--I did, and other people I've known who were prescribed paxil also did.  Don't know about prozac and some of the other antidepressants)