Still scared to death of HIV

I still freaking out that i caught HIV from having oral sex done to my penis late December. Didn't know the best way to word that. Iv had a six week test neg. Im just so scared. My BP is up as high as 150 over 93 and Heart rate as high as 104 and not below 90. I cant sleep. Iv had a cough for a month now. I have light black under my eyes. I cry all the time. Im mostly scared that im not going to see my two year old son grow up. Iv taken bus par for about four days now and it seems to work a little. Thought the xanax was better. I need to get my heart rate down to get some sleep. I hate being alone. What can i do. I even go to church iv confessed my sins. I pray all the time. I dont want to die. If you dont know anything about hiv please dont scare me further than i am already i really cant handle it. Teak from the hiv forum says i have no risk but the cdc and the drs forum says there is 1 in 20,000 risk if the person is infected. I so fear im that one. Why the hell am i still coughing. I want to sleep please help me.

[silverberg]

ok, I am only trying to help, this is 2009! you really need to educate yourself PERIOD!
you will win the national lottery 10 times over before you contract HIV by either receiving oral or even giving oral sex. So please go down to your local HIV awareness office, every major city has one or call for some free educational tools and you can even find this online.

Please understand If I am sounding hard on you, its because at your age you should be aware of this!

Again I would put my life saving on the bet YOU DO NOT HAVE HIV from oral sex PERIOD.

also and this has NOTHIING to do with oral sex, but HIV is NOT a DEATH sentance PERIOD.