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193245 tn?1189989722

Success Stories

This forum is filled with people who are or were suffering from anxiety, of course,  What I think is lacking may be some success stories.  People DO make progress with this disorder, and I believe it's important for people who are new to the problem to see that it can be dealt with.

I suffered badly for a couple years before it was even diagnosed correctly, and then it took another four months for me to ask doctors for a medicinal solution.  Once I did I got a lot better.  I'm not saying that's the road for everyone or anything but it did help me.  A lot.  I'll be more specific if there's interest in the post.  Until then:

You show me yous, I'll show you mine!
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Avatar universal
Hi guys i hav eposted this on another anxiety forum, it only occured to me recently that there are all different types of anxiety resources so have reposted it here and i hope it helps. ps there are plenty of people who have success but unfortunately they slip into society without telling anyone about it. keep the faith.

********************************************************************************

I wanted to share my story and I hope it helps. Its a bit long but i have tried to put everything I wanted to know from success stories when i was in the throes of anxiety.

Firstly though as a bit of background I started suffering from anxiety about 4 months ago triggered by a past event. The past event was nothing serious but it triggered the anxious feeling in the stomach and from there the anxiety took on a life of its own independent of the initial trigger, worry about the worry. I knew the worry was irrational but it didn't matter I couldn't stop it, all day and all night.

Anyways it felt like my confidence and self had been completely stripped.  my brain was never given a rest. It felt like my mind was finding new ways to attack me. I was afraid of my own thoughts. lots of ruminations of 'what ifs' and constantly 'checking in' and the main worry was that i couldnt stop thinking about the worry.

Thankfully I have put all this behind me. There were lots of things that helped me become less anxious. I guess the main breakthrough came with 'mindfulness based stress reduction' but more about that in a moment.

So here goes

Some small steps i took.

Firstly through some visualisaton exercises i started breathing diapraghmatically all the time, took a few weeks of 10-minute exercises. I was also eating really healthy food and cut out the caffeine, alchohol and sugar.  All these changes helped but didnt stop the anxiety. I wasnt sleeping well either and i took some natural sleeping tablets which helped me sleep better. all small things really.

Try and hope replaced

After about 4 weeks of setbacks and to-ing and fro-ing between getting worse and stablising and so on, I was really low on confidence about my chances of getting out of the vicous cycle. I met with someone who was a thought field therapist who straight away told me to eliminate some words which he noticed i kept using in our initial conversation. I would say 'I try' and 'I hope' alot and he told me to banish them from my spoken word and mentalese The explanation being that the subconsious wont act on things 'i tried' or 'hoped' to do as the words try and hope are too weak.

He explained how the subconscious wants to protect you but it does so in the wrong way. I would be thinking 'i am going to try this or that to get out of my anxiety' but my subconcious would see that as failure and would try and protect me from disappointment. Im not sure if that last bit made sense but basically i banished the words 'try' and 'hope' from my mind and replaced them with a sentence i would say in my mind every now and then that was suggested by the therapist. it was
'I am going to overcome this anxiety now and in the future'.

He felt this sentence would get through to the subconscious, the word 'now' being added because the subconscious has to have event in the very near future to be effected. I asked him what if i didnt believe it? when i was saying it which i knew i wouldnt, and he said it didnt matter that the subconsious would take it in all the same. It did help with that hopelessness feeling and lifted my spirits and belief.

Semi-acceptance

I spent alot of time researching ways to overcome anxiety and one thing that kept cropping up was acceptance. I was constantly pulling away from the anxiety and the changes it brought to my life. I decided that this probably was the right path and the sooner i accepted anxiety the easier it would be for me. I saw a video on youtub that explained the best way to get out of GAD is to wear it like an uncomfortable coat and every now and then it will give your nerves some time to release and recuperate. That helped me over a few weeks and i did notice i was less anxious, my nerves were definetly less fraught. In saying that i could never stop thinking about the anxiety and there was always a cap on my happiness.

Not answering back with counter arguments to thoughts

All this helped me become less anxious. During this period as well, its hard to explain, but i wouldnt answer back to my thoughts like i would of done at the start. I didnt look to refute them in my mind. for example if my mind would think ; you never going to get out of this' whereas before i would try and refute it in my mind and and give a counter argument (almost like there were two people talking in my head) now i just left it alone.. i guess i wasnt fighting with my thoughts as much, i wasnt trying to reply to them.

Mindfulness

But alas the breakthrough came after about 8 weeks of anxiety i started listening to Jon Kabat Zinn - Mindfulness for beginners. I wasnt expecting much out of mindfulness meditation other then to learn how to observe thoughts as some sites tell you to do (which i found almost impossible). Mindfulness has over the last 8-10 weeks completely taken away my anxiety.

The basic premise is about living in the moment. When i was living with anxiety my mind was always obsessing about the future or thinking about the past but mindfulness thought me to take each moment one at a time. I was enjoying things again even though i still has anxious feelings. Part of minfulness it to view things moment to moment in a non-judgemental way so each moment i had anxiety i would view it as just sensations moment to moment.

I think anyone with anxiety could benefit from mindulness meditation and i would suggest them listening to the audio tapes of 'mindfulness for beginners' by jon kabat zinn and his book 'full catastrophe living' there is also 8 week mindfulness stress based reduction courses (although i didnt go on any). I meditate for a half an hour every day and all I am doing is focusing on my breath and taking the mind back to the breath whenever it wanders off. Its training the brain and getting the mind connected to the body, which is what i now understand anxiety is: a disconnectedness between the mind and body.. ok i realise that sounds quite wishy washy but your brain is basically panicing over why it cant control the anxiety amongst other things.

I have to say its best not to think mindfulness will cure your anxiety, another part of mindfulness is non-striving. the idea that you shouldnt have goals moment to moment. Mindfulness works best when you live in the moment and the stress reduces by itself. Im not sure how effective it would of been without the previous things i did such as banishing the words 'try' and 'hope' and replacing it with the sentence above (think this lifted my spirits enough to give mindfulness a chance)

Also think eating healthily, breathing diaphragmatically, and wearing my anxiety like an uncomfortable coat, gave my nerves enough rest so that when i started mindfulness i was less anxious then i was before.

So thats my story, i,m sorry its so long. I have left alot out but covered the most important points for me, small steps. Everyone's anxiety is different and everyone is different. This worked for me and something else might work for you. It might look like i knew what i was doing all along, i didn't, the above is just a summary of what i did before i got out of it. i was just as anxious and brain-fried as every other GAD sufferer and slowly it got better and now i am anxious free and the same person i was before.

D
Helpful - 1
Avatar universal
Hi Alison, well that sounds like you know WHY the anxiety is back.  And really to nonprofessional me that sounds situational - not a life sentence.  Once life gets a little bit better than things will come along.  Or even as it gets further from Christmas (for you), and light improves I imagine you will do better.  

Hi DJ, that's an interesting approach!  I guess yeah with anxiety we are being put into fight or flight, so might as well use it.  Pretty innovative way to use it -- better than becoming a professional boxer :p

Anyone else with successes?  I guess I can add to that -- a couple of my friends had severe anxiety, and manage it well (meds) and are what I would call cured (naturopath).  So it can be done!  

And I remember well -- when it's hitting hard you just need to hear that.  
Helpful - 1
Avatar universal
I hope my story will help too.
I was the kind of person who’s all out to help everyone. Proving myself that I can lead a group of salesman, a champion wife, mother and friend to everyone. Life was too good and promising , I never thought this could happen to me.
One day, at a dinner I organized for the whole family, I felt panicking like I was going to faint or worst, felt like dying. My heart was beating so fast, I feel dizzy looking at everyone eating at the buffet. I already thought of myself being brought to a nearby hospital. The following weeks, I no longer know myself. It was a totally different me. I just want to be in my room and keep thinking on how I will avoid working, making excuses so I will not go out. My husband cannot understand why I was feeling terrified over something. I was crying because I cannot help myself, and I cannot find any strength in me to overcome anxiety. Later on the following steps helped me, which I hope will help you too.
1.Have  yourself check- up physically –every time a doctor  tells me that my lab results were fine, it adds up a positive feeling and strength. From cardiologist, neurologist, oB , I tried to remember their last word “ you are fine”, “your heart is good for another 15 yrs” .These made me think there was still hope
2.Seek   professional help- my doctor was able to assessed what kind of character I was trying to put up with, and he said I was doing too much, I needed a break from the  responsibilities.
3. Change routines – I usually report for work, sit at my table and anticipate work load and unload them, but think about it, sometimes , you really have to be good to yourself , relax and reward.
4. Medication- my doctor gave me a low dose relaxant just to be able to free myself from thinking so much. Do not be afraid because I realized that medicines are created to help , just like any other illness.
5.Sleep- get enough sleep . It really lessens the anxiety and helps you get through the day.
6.Exercise- I walk 30 mins and end up praying in our chapel. The sweat , the cooling down feeling and the serenity of the place is like a therapy already that releases whatever negative thoughts in my mind.
7. Challenge it- when you feel good about yourself, try to find the anxiety in yourself, You will feel happy that its gone.
8. Acceptance- believe that all people have anxiety on different levels, and yours are something that is also curable.
I hope this is helpful, because everyone who has anxiety are trying to always ask if it is something that is curable, and I say yes.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Dear Lapallyloga,

Thank you for your story.  I have been experiencing anxiety for three and a half months after a build up of stress from different areas of my life. Basically i had a break down.
At first I didnt know what the anxiety was relating to and kept saying " but im not stressed".  I was clearly not dealing with the stress in my life as i had done for the past 28 years and my body was telling me it had had enough.
For a month i did a range of medical tests to make sure there was no underlying medical issues and it was hard to acknowledge that in the end it was my mind making me feel anxious all day, every day.
I was nausous and sick most days, wasnt eating.  No motvation or want to talk to anybody.
I spent a lot of time and energy on natural medicines and treatments but it was the mind i had to focus on.
After five weeks I started seeing a psychologist and she gave me some great strategies to deal with negative self talk and how to help relieve my symptoms.  This did not make them go away, but made them bareable.
I also started reading a book by Russ Harris called " The Happiness Trap". It really helped me break through to another stage of recovery.
Through this time I was experimenting with herps and relaxation tea's- all of which never gave me the relief i so desperatly wanted.

Finishing reading the book" The Happiness Trap", seeing my psychologist and practicing mindfullness have helped me accept my anxiety.  
Today i have very few "bad days"

It is hard when you experiece lifes little knock downs and days where for another reason you feel sick or tired.  ON these days it takes all my power to not "link" back how im feeling to my anxiety.

Use your strategies, exericse, eat healthy, practice mindfullness, see a psychologist, defuse from negative thoughts, be positive and accept that some days are going to be harder than others but once you stop fighting your anxiety your quality of life will improve.

A final little gem.

"When you come up against a stressful situation, dont ask yourself "can i handle this?", because by bringing it to your attention makes you realise that maybe you cant. But i find most of the time " I could handle it".  We are a lot stronger than we think.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I just wanted to thank you for sharing your journey...I too am suffering from General Anxiety, which was brought on by NOTHING! I am working in a low stress position, have a great supportive family and boyfriend, and am financially stable/healthy. I am starting to avoid events, lunching with my coworkers and now even cooking!! The worst thing you can do is AVOIDANCE....this just fuels anxiety and when you have no choice in a matter, it will be all the more traumatic. Keep doing what you have to do, no matter how hard it is.

It's been progressively getting worse and I am determined not to go the drug route, I'm pretty sure the anticipation of side effects will just make me worse.

I am currently experimenting with various herbs (Sam-E, L-Theanine, Fish Oils, 5HTP, etc) not all at the same time...but I am thinking my problem is something deeper that only cognitive therapy can help...so I have started seeing a therapist.

Just wanted to thank you again for the positivity and little tips like "wear it like an uncomfortable coat" and not using defeated words such as try and hope.

I wish hope and success to everyone and will post if I come up with a solution!!
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Avatar universal
Anyone else with success stories to share?
Helpful - 0
345079 tn?1299202476
While I am still suffering from anxiety and panic I consider myself to have succeeded in many ways!
When I was in my late teens I was agoraphobic, I lived on my own and would not go anywhere other than the doctors. Not even my families which caused problems. I was like that until I got pregnant. I was also on a large variety of meds and still having severe panic. When I got pregnant I got off xanax and other meds and was put on Paxil alone. I exercised daily and ate healthier than ever before. My anxiety was getting under control and my attacks very few and far between. After I had my daughter I was still ok. I stayed on the Paxil only. I even began working! I was social, and healthy. I was truly living. For years I stayed well. I am not sure what triggered it all again but it did return. I did not become agoraphobic but I did not like going far from home at all. I had meds added and still had many attacks. My biggest issue had become health anxiety. I had two very scary pregnancies and labours that caused my anxiety to skyrocket. My husband had to take a year off work as I couldnt be alone. It was horrible. I even checked myself into an anxiety hospital. I had severe depression and so much more. But I decided I had enough of living like that. I started meditating, exercising, eating very clean and taking care of myself. I was able to get a job again and I was anxiety free!!!!!! Things were fantastic. I loved my job. Then this past December both my husband and I were laid off right before Christmas. We had no money, the job I loved was gone, and I have always had a hard time with Christmas since my dad died when I was 14. So with all of that added in I have had a slight set back but I am hanging in there determined to pull myself out of this! I will be a success story again
Helpful - 0
1492418 tn?1289149263
i often post positive, helpful, mini successes but get little response, interesting. I am far from cured but defintately gaining an understanding of how i think, the design of the mind, the importance of determination, I believe we all will find the path that makes sense and works for us, i am gaining ground using the power of now and to remember thoughts can't hurt me and i am not the thoughts but the part that actually can notice i am thinking. I try to find the positives of having high anxiety (I know right?) but i am sensitive and caring that i can channel that focus to detail away from my body and on to something else, like my kidlets. and i am an awesome scout, i can see animal movement that others seem to not be able too, my bow hunting husband loves that. Trying to change my curse into my gift. Now if only i can learn to ignore the physical symptom i will be in business but i know i will get a grip on that as well. thanks for your positive approach!!
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Avatar universal
Hi OP/debaser: people do make progress.  I have.  In fact basically I'm cured.

I too am looking for a central spot where successes are posted.  This thread is the closest I've found on the web and it really only has your story.  Funny thing Is I know others that are good now.  I think when folks get healthy they get on with their life and stop posting.  Good for them, bad for folks who are sick and looking for data.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

Ok my story, I had been very sucessful in life with a great childhood, family, social life, work, travel etc.  I was not a candidate for this at all.  In fact, I was always an overthinker but also very happy and optimistic.

This changed as I got really burnt out setting up a business.  It failed and I broke.  Anxiety started and grew.  A year later crisis turned into finally admitting it and trying SSRI medication.  That helped but tough side effects.  So that lasted say eight months.  Then off and not in crisis but still always on edge etc.  Not the original me.  Finally tried a naturopath and she helped but not 100%.  Then I found the RIGHT naturopath, she diagnoses adrenal burnout, made me rest and quickly I saw the benefits, and it's just getting better and better.  I pestered her with questions as I wasn't willing to waste more months ill.

Nothing else mattered as much as getting over this.  And nothing truly worked.  There's no way therapy (that I tried), nor mindfulness (that i tried)  nor SSRI medication (that I tried) would help anywhere this amount.  They might deal with the symptom (anxiety), but not the reason (body totally burnout out).   

And trust me I was motivated for change.   

So the take out is that find the root and deal with that.  But remember too that being anxious burns out your body.  Which causes more anxiety.  So get help early and advocate for yourself!  

If it's adrenal burnout expect to have to take one to two months just resting -- but it's awesome as it's the first time in ages that you can rest!  It also takes months afterwards to get to 100%, and even then life isn't stressfree but it is normal.  And I bet we'd all take that!!!

Btw, your medical doctor may not agree with adrenal burnout as it's not official in most places in the world.  But they should be able to understand burnout.  And if they can't make you better they should be up to trying other paths.

So keep up hope, work hard, and be kind to yourself!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hi OP/debaser: people do make progress.  I have.  In fact basically I'm cured.

I too am looking for a central spot where successes are posted.  This thread is the closest I've found on the web and it really only has your story.  Funny thing Is I know others that are good now.  I think when folks get healthy they get on with their life and stop posting.  Good for them, bad for folks who are sick and looking for data.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

Ok my story, I had been very sucessful in life with a great childhood, family, social life, work, travel etc.  I was not a candidate for this at all.  In fact, I was always an overthinker but also very happy and optimistic.

This changed as I got really burnt out setting up a business.  It failed and I broke.  Anxiety started and grew.  A year later crisis turned into finally admitting it and trying SSRI medication.  That helped but tough side effects.  So that lasted say eight months.  Then off and not in crisis but still always on edge etc.  Not the original me.  Finally tried a naturopath and she helped but not 100%.  Then I found the RIGHT naturopath, she diagnoses adrenal burnout, made me rest and quickly I saw the benefits, and it's just getting better and better.  I pestered her with questions as I wasn't willing to waste more months ill.

Nothing else mattered as much as getting over this.  And nothing truly worked.  There's no way therapy (that I tried), nor mindfulness (that i tried)  nor SSRI medication (that I tried) would help anywhere this amount.  They might deal with the symptom (anxiety), but not the reason (body totally burnout out).   

And trust me I was motivated for change.   

So the take out is that find the root and deal with that.  But remember too that being anxious burns out your body.  Which causes more anxiety.  So get help early and advocate for yourself!  

If it's adrenal burnout expect to have to take one to two months just resting -- but it's awesome as it's the first time in ages that you can rest!  It also takes months afterwards to get to 100%, and even then life isn't stressfree but it is normal.  And I bet we'd all take that!!!

Btw, your medical doctor may not agree with adrenal burnout as it's not official in most places in the world.  But they should be able to understand burnout.  And if they can't make you better they should be up to trying other paths.

So keep up hope, work hard, and be kind to yourself!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Okay well mine isn't a total success story but it could be soon.

Okay well im 14 years old, My anxiety started when I was 11 at first it was not bad at all occasional panic attacks here and there but when i was 12 going on 13 they were out of control, I would be in a constant state of panic for days even weeks at a time, I would stay up all night crying, Having terrible intrusive thoughts, No appetite, Frequent bathroom breaks, and uncontrolled breathing. I diagnosed myself with depression. then they stopped for a while, at the beginning of this year they started again but not bad up unitl about 2 months ago they got bad like the first time only 10 times worse, I almost gave up on everything. Until i started doing research on what was going on, now that I have figured it out im slowly tackeling this disorder, it was taking over my life, I wouldnt talk to my family cause i didn't want them to know, I wasn't enjoying Life, I began smoking pot and cigarettes anything I could to keep my mind busy. What I decided to do was move out of my moms cause she trys to convince me that im mentally crazy and that i need pills to solve my problems, but im proving her wrong. To stop them I silenty yell stop in my head to stop the emergency message my brain was sending it helps make them end quicker, I try to stay positive and do  breathing excersises. Its helped alot there back down to being occasional and now I know how to control them, i still get worried about my health because I have had pneumonia a good 4 or 5 times in my life, and i'm always worried that every little cold sympton means I have it, i almost lost my life, they pronounced me dead within 24 hours the summer of '08. . But now im enjoying life more, any more advice would be great though.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hi!

Sorry I didn't respond until now!  I forget to go down the list to check the old threads....that is a very interesting story.  I am so glad for you that you have found your way through.  It is a rough road, but we can all make it,,,,in our own time.  I have made it through most of the way, but I also have backsteps too.  But I do struggle with keeping "ok" because bad habits are hard to break.  Your thinking pattern is soooo important like you have said.  I also fear terrible illnesses.  I just had to go for tests and it is so hard not to have myself dead and buried.  I do a lot of self talk to try to hellp myself....trying hard not to have total and complete panic!

Thank you for sharing your story.....very insightful.
Helpful - 0
193245 tn?1189989722
So I thought you guys were interested?  I don't see many responses.  I know there are people who come here who have, at one time or another at least, beaten anxiety/panic.  There are probably some who visit now and then who've beaten for good.  Let's hear from you.  What has worked for you in the past?  

To Raine:

Thanks for responding.

I had a bit of health anxiety myself, of course, but luckily for me it was very narrowly focused on one body system.  After all the tests were run and everything was looked over, I finally accepted there was nothing major wrong with me.  However, I still found myself taking my temperature ten times a day, fearing influenza and whatever else until I finally made the turn around.  So I was worried about other stuff, too.

"I want to prepare myself for the worst and in so doing I turn into a total basket case."  To me, this is a pretty telling statement.

In terms of wills, trusts, and life insurance, yeah, everyone needs to prepare for the worst.  Otherwise, I don't think you do.  Preparing for the worst is your problem.  You're spitting up little amounts of blood in the morning?  I was doing that not long ago.  Assuming you've told your doctors about it and they weren't concerned, you shouldn't be either.  I simply had a cold and it was uncharacteristically dry around here at the time.  Some people get nosebleeds...some people split up a little blood.  It doesn't mean it came from the lungs.  You're most likely okay.  Give it a little time...I'm sure it'll go away.  Probably allergies, sinus, or a cold.  Those are some sensitive tissues and they'll bleed sometimes when irritated.  It doesn't take a major disease to do that.

Everybody dies.  Everyone on this Earth will, at some point, get an awful disease or whatever and leave us.  Something about your writing makes me think you're young, though, maybe twenties or thirties.  The odds of you having a horrible and incurable disease at this point in your life is very slim.  There's just no sense in worrying about it.

You're probably at the age (much like myself) where age is just starting to catch up, that's all.  You're NOT going to feel great ALL the time.  That's just a fact for everyone.  You can feel great the vast majority of the time, though, if you allow yourself.  You're not allowing yourself.  Anxiety will wear the body down.  It has physical consequences.  It can't kill you directly and would probably take a very, very long time to kill you even indirectly.  What it will do is demoralize you and ruin your quality of life.

I can't say "just stop worrying".  Clearly, it's not that easy for you.  You'll need to find your own path.  Creative outlets help.  Pharmacology can help break the ice.  Eastern philosophy could probably help.  There are lots of options, but you have to want to change and then go searching for the best way to do it.

Me?  I just started on my own path.  I'm no expert, just living evidence that people can make progress.  I was a sad case there for a while but I'm doing just fine now!  You can get there, too.

Helpful - 0
200828 tn?1209917975
I think you really helped yourself, congratulations.  I think that your tackling of the psycological element of it is the true cure for anxiety.  I don't think that a drug is really the cure either.  

I wanted your advice on my situation.  I have always been a hypochondriac to some degree.  I had a health scare last summer and I think this scare coupled with giving birth brought about this anxiety that I am now suffering from, almost one year later.  I have experienced difficulty swallowing, acidic stomach, crying spells, and chest tightness and shortness of breath.  As soon as I get a physical symptom, I get worried that it might be cancer or some sort of awful disease.  Like right now I've been seeing a little bit of blood in my spit when I clear my throat in the morning.  It worries me and makes it so hard to enjoy my life.  My friends and husband don't think I should worry so much and just think postively until I see the doctor.  My doctor tells me to don't worry until they tell me I have something.  But that's all easier said than done.  I'm afraid of thinking postively.  I want to prepare myself for the worst and in so doing I turn into a total basket case. If and when the doctor tells me there's nothing wrong with me, I still continue to worry that I will develop a disease sooner of later.  I hate this.  my relationships with friends have suffered, my husband and kids have suffered.  I know I am not enjoying my life. I feel like my life is just passing me by.  One day I very well may be diagnosed with something awful and I'm gonna look back and see how I wasted my life worrying about getting sick. But I can't help it!  Any suggestions???  
Helpful - 0
193245 tn?1189989722
That's great to hear.  Unless you didn't mention it, you didn't even require medications or a bunch of self-help books and CD's to achieve what you did.

I also know what it's like in a theater.  Last December I went to see Borat with a friend.  They say laughter is the best medicine, but whenever I laughed I nearly threw up!  It's hard to believe that was only a few months ago.  It's like I live in a different world now.

xxxxxxxxx

Basically, I experienced several panic attacks a day for 1.5 to 2 years.  It began as a real medical illness that took forever for a slew of doctors to diagnose and I ended up in surgery.  That problem was fixed and I felt better, but never well.  It seems all those months of being sick almost all the time and wondering what it was took it's toll on me, mentally.  I developed anxiety disorder.  So a couple months post op when I was still getting sick multiple times a day, I started going back to the doctors again.  They looked and looked for physical problems.  They found a few things I already knew or suspected I had (GERD, hiatal hernia, ocular migraines), but none of these things were enough to make me feel the way I was feeling.  

This went on and on and on.  Prior to being sick with the initial illness, I'd gone years without seeing a doctor.  I'd always been healthy, and if I wasn't, I simply sucked it up.  I have a pretty good tolerance for feeling bad but what I was going through was quite a bit more than I could deal with.  

Finally, well over a year after surgery, I broke down and went to a teaching hospital where I tried to have myself admited.  There, I thought, they'd get to the bottom of it.  The hospital didn't admit me because I lived within 100 miles of it, but they did accept me as a patient at the diagnostic clinic.  There, I was given a very comprehensive series of exams, blood panels, and x-rays; when all that came back negative I was referred to the gastroenterology department.  They subjected me to almost every abdominal test around, including several that I'd already had.  There was nothing physically wrong with me except for what I mentioned above (GERD, etc).  My GI's final diagnosis was "atypical panic attacks".  I didn't believe him (and may have pissed him off), but the doctor at the diagnostic clinic concurred.  It took a little time but I eventually accepted the diagnosis.  

For a while, that sufficed.  There were still some pretty hard times, but I dealt with them a little better for a month and a half or so.  Then, it all came back in a very bad way.  

I went to my primary doctor here in town, and he looked over everything they'd done at the hospital and agreed that it could be Panic Disorder.  He thought there might be a couple of other possibilities, but panic seemed most likely to him.  I got a prescription for Clonazepam (Klonopin).I stared at the bottle for weeks, afraid that the Klonopin would make me even more ill to my stomach.

Mind you, I was bad enough that I'd already stopped going to work, and was only leaving my apartment for brief trips to get food or whatever.  I didn't shave.  I took a shower only a couple times a week.  I ate only once a day.  It was getting scary.  Three, four, five, panic attacks every single day.  Finally I couldn't take it anymore...I was only a shadow of my former self and just couldn't go on like that.  Still fearing that the Klonopin would make me sicker, I finally decided to take 1/2 a tablet one Sunday afternoon a few weeks ago.  It did not make me sick.

On Monday I started with the prescribed dose: 1 .5 mg tablet two times a day.  

And that's it.  I've been better ever since.  I stayed off another week just to enjoy it, then returned the next week and worked like crazy.  Nothing could bother me.  I was bullet proof!  Now, four or five weeks later, I've felt a little rebound anxiety.  I think the "novelty" of feeling like a normal person has worn off, and I've found that the root of my problems are still there (the psychological element).

That's what I'm trying to work on now.  In many ways it's sort of automatic.  I no longer immediately focus on the negative, for example.  But I still have some issues with anxiety and my body does try to have panic attacks now and then.  Normally I crush them with an iron fist.  Other times, in weaker moments, they'll take hold to one extent or another, but they're nothing like they used to be.  I'm winning the war.

The Klonopin hasn't been the cure.  I'm not cured.  The Klnopin is only a tool that should allow me to get at the root of my anxiety and kill it.  It gives me enough relief that I have the perspective necessary to redesign the way I think.  Don't think that I'm bragging on myself.  I have setbacks.  I haven't been doing everything right.  It's a slow process and I hope I can make it through without ever having another really bad spell.  Some people do.  Others never can seem to get a handle on it.

Right now, though, I feel pretty good.  Like a human being should.

Good luck to everyone.
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Avatar universal
At one point i was too scared of being sick to even leave the house. I wrote a list of things i was scared  of and set out to achieve them slowly, easiest first. I can't believe i did the one right at the top of the list recently. I sat in the middle of a crowded theatre the whole show! May seem easy but to me that was the hardest thing. I also avoided restaurants for years now i make my bf take me all the time and don't even feel nervous
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Thank you for your comment on Paxil Very helpful i feel the same as you feel. I'm going to give Paxil a try
This is a pretty old post.  My only advice is, if you haven't tried any medication yet or therapy, give therapy a try before medication, and give almost all meds a chance before Paxil or Effexor, as they are very hard to stop taking.  If other things don't work, Paxil will still be there to try, it isn't going anywhere.  Good luck.
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Very interested!!!!
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Interested here!
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200828 tn?1209917975
Success stories would be nice to read about for a change!
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Avatar universal
AMEN, I would love to hear what you have to say!
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