Talk Me Down

I need help today. I've explained it in a few posts already but I have this OCD and Health Anxiety concerning ALS. I mean after all the MS scares and other things I did this year you'd think I'd learn my lesson. I've seen the Neurologist 3 times and everytime she says she thinks I need help with anxiety because she sees nothing wrong. I've ene talked with her on the phone 3 times and gone through everything. She said my speech sounds fine and that it would be very different not just a few missed words or something. Yet I made the mistake of reading where someones parent had fine tests but couldn't say "s" and over time they said it was ALS. I can't live like this. I mean at 37 and considering how rare it is, this just sounds unfounded but it is in my head. I'll have days that I'm so aware of my tongue that I feel little bites when eating, etc. Help!!!

[suzi-q]

Is there a test that tests just for ALS?  If there is, is it possible for your neurologist to have the test done?  I know that horrible irrational fear.  The only thing I can suggest is to divert your attention.  Keep busy!  Do you have a therapist?  If so, talk to him about ways of changing the "tape" in your head that keeps playing over and over these negative feelings.  Best to you.

[Topher7]

Thanks. No, that is the problem. They do EMGs if they suspect anything but that is after a full neurological evaluation. She has done 2 full ones where she tested my reflexes and strength and has found nothing worng besides me saying twitches. She looked at my tongue and poked the back of my throat to test gag and swallowing reflexes and I was fine there too. She has spoken to me multiple times and has heard my speech. It only happens rarely and alot fo times when I catch my teeth I have dry mouth because I have drainage in my throat and all. When we talked yesterdat she said only 2 people in her whole career have come in and been fine and then were right later and they were different. She also said that anything can happen later in life but at this time there is nothing from neurologically with me. I think I love my daughter and all so much that I'm freaking of some deadly disease.

[Topher7]

Please people talk to me. I'm really freaking out today. I don't want to die and I want to grow old for my little daughter and all. PLEASE!!

[crabby70]

relax, breathe..its gonna be ok..like suzi says divert your attention... go play with your daughter..do something thats gonna make you feel good everytime that thought comes into your head think of something that makes you happy.. take a break from the computer... take a walk..feel good  hope I helped a little

[tostressed]

I think that you are fine. You have health anxiety like me. I have read your posts in the past. I think that you are just really paying attention to your symptom so much that you are making it worse. I really think with 2 neurological evaluations she would have picked up something. My health anxiety started after my little ones were born. You worry so much about them and you want to be around and healthy to watch them grow. When my kids are sick I even worry to much. I turn a fever into some disease. Almost all of last year I thought that I have had MS or Lupus. My doctor finally a couple months back let me get an MRI. All was clear and I also had exstensive blood work for Lupus all was clear. I have had so many tests that I met my out of pocket and all my medical expanses are free until DEC 31. I am finally calming down. For as many years as I have thought that I was sick, I think something would be showing in my blood work or I would be really sick or dead by now. I live each day at my fullest. I don't want to waste my life worrying anymore. It has already taken so much. I fianally realized I had a problem when I was talking to my husband and my 6 year old came in and said " Mom you don't have lupus, your doctor said you were fine." I don't want my kids to end up doing the same as I do.
You"ll be ok. Just hang in there. Enjoy your baby. It goes by way to fast.

[Topher7]

I know. My wife thinks I'm crazy and it is a strain. She doesn't want our daughter fearful of being sick. Today I noticed what I thought to be a new indention on my tongue and was shaking in bed last night. I'm so freaked out if I mis pronounce a word. I mean it is all so rare but it seems to make sense to me. The part that scares me about ALS is the death and the fact that it isn't simple to see. This neurologits is great and I should trust her but I keep thinking something was missed. I could forget MS because of the MRI but who knows what twitches and tongue things are.

[tostressed]

I know it's hard to try and relax and not think about it. My husband thinks I am crazy too. How long have you had these symptoms? Is it always there? Is it worse when you think about it?

[suzi-q]

When I used to suffer with my worst anxiety, I always felt like I was slurring my speech.  Like things weren't coming out right.  However, everyone else said I sounded fine.  It is just a symptom of the anxiety.  Relax and your tongue will relax too...I know, easier said than done.  

[Topher7]

Tostressed...I could go through the time line again but the mouth stuff just started last week when I got post nasal drip and I went to the regular doc and the neurologist. The twitches in my legs and all are probably a product of me continually testing my strength by walking on my toes and heels and jumping on my toes. After I stopped months ago the twitches did too...even after working in the yard all day. Then they came back with the stress and tenseness. I mean as far as I know there has never been a strength issue and the neurologist agrees

Suzi, alot of it is that I have sever dry mouth because of this stomach meds and anxiety. Add to that the fact that the words r phrases are common to say funny..."nutritious" and :beef broth...fast..lol..then I start noticing a "sh". It is probably dental work and when I'm arguing or talking without thought it doesn't happen.

[Topher7]

I went and talked to a counselor last night so I'm trying to get better. Right now I am having trouble with sleep and jerking awake'

[suzi-q]

I hate that feeling.  I understand what you are going through..Best to you.