Time distortion

Not sure if I really know how to put this. First I will start by saying that I have been suffering from problems for about a year and a half now. All the anxiety symptoms, panic, depression, you name it been through it all in the last year..now for about the last 6 months I have this what I like to call "emotional numbness" cant feel almost no emotion neither positive or negative, and I'm also constantly in a state of derealization, or something of that nature like feeling the world isn't really real, questioning our existence, etc. Now my question at hand is I feel like I've lost my sense of time. My memory isn't what is used to be before all this started, so I don't know if thats part of it. But I know time goes fast, but to me it feels so fast to the point it scares me, like I just wake up, and its night before I know it, and the same thing all over again and everything that happened in the last year feels like it went by in a matter of a day. I'm 24 and this feeling makes me feel like my life is going to be over before I know it and that I don't have enough time. Sometimes my head clears up at night, and I have a little more clarity. Sometimes I wonder if I'm simply severly depressed and this is how it is for me. I just go through the motions everyday, and sometimes feel like I have to put on an act. Or is it severe anxiety? I guess it don't matter the difference. Anyhow, sorry to ramble on...can anyone relate? Like I used to have this clear visualation of the past, and same for the present and looking to the future. It gave me a feeling of clarity and contentment. Now I'm just in a whole other world it seems.

[MrGreen]

Think I once lived in that other world. For well over a decade. The only thing I cared about was me. Getting by each day. It looked and sounded cold to others. Was like I never gave a hoot about anything / anybody else. But when you are feeling as you do, you just look after number 1. That is yourself. Call it survival if you will. It's not that we have stopped caring about others. We haven't. It is just we know how much of a struggle it can be to get by each day. So we focus on ourselves. Long since given up caring about what others think. I always put it that it can seen like one continuous day with a sport of night darkness to break it up. In other words every day felt the same. I was doing the same things. Like a routine. Broken up by a bit of sleep. It was certainly my own little world. But I brought things into that little world. Things I liked to do and could manage to do. To try and alter things. Like gardening for example. At least that way I had something to show for the day. Where before I never had anything to show for the days. They were just days that I was having to live out. Once I got used to the garden I moved a bit further. Into other people's gardens. Began making money for my new found hobby. It sure helped me snap out of things. Because that was what I had to do. Inward thinking is a bad thing when feeling negative. Doing nothing at all can make it worse. I may not exactly have been like yourself, but it is similar. Hope you can grab something from this post. Maybe make a move on trying to sort things out.