I've always had the on/off times where I would get it stuck in my head that someone was going to come into my house and murder me, but lately it has become so much worse. Every single night I get this horrible, irrational fear and now I end up sleeping with the majority of the house lights on. I don't know why I get so scared.
I don't know whether it could have anything to do with me remembering a memory that was suppressed since I was 10. I'm 18 now, and only remembered it a few months ago. In the flat I lived in as a child (I wasn't much of a sleeper back then either) I remember multiple nights where I could see a man standing outside my window. My parents never took much of it back then.... They thought I imagined it (Which I truly didn't, nothing about it was a dream) but it was the most horrific experience, I was always to scared to leave my room and run to my parents, I was literally frozen there.
But I don't know whether this has anything to do with it. But I hear the smallest noises and practically fall into a panic attack.. I just want to work out how I can stop this, my nights are on the verge of becoming sleepless and me sitting here frantically waiting for someone to come get me.
Even when I've had a perfectly good night and nothing remotely scary has been mentioned, I get into bed... and all of a sudden it hits me.. and I immediately need to turn my light on and some music so I can remotely distract myself from surrounding noises from outside, etc.
I am sorry that you are going through this right now. In my experience with anxiety, it sometimes tended to peak at night when I was not distracted with other things. However, you have had traumatic events in your past (dream or not) that warrants talking to someone about it in my opinion. Anxiety manifests itself in so many ways and fear of going to sleep is one of them in my opinion. Can you or do you have access to a counselor that can talk to you about this? For me, talking it through with someone sheds light on the subject and gives you manageable path to deal with and confront your fears.
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