I know what I am going through is stress related ans I have had anxiety disorder since 19196 when our office building burnt down and we had to rebuild. I t was a stressful event as I am the back office manager at a dental office. I had thousands of supplies I had to reorder and organize all new equipment. So off and on for years I have dealt with this. I took Wellbutrin for years, but decided a few years back I did not want to any more. It put weight on me, I lacked desire for sex and was just kind of numb. Things were manageable until this last year. I feel I have gone through PTSD. I lost my relationship of 10 years, my brother was hit and killed by a car and I had a head on accident on my Harley which resulted in surgery and a law suit against me. One of the worst years of my life. The past few months my tremors have become unbearable. I get the slightest stressed and I shake so bad i cannot even write legibly. I get so emotionally upset there is something more wrong with me it just puts me in a tail spin. I lost 40 lbs. since last summer, and looked like I had cancer. I have recently moved to a new house, gotten a new male companion, have everything to be thankful for. But still the slightest bit of stress just knocks me for a loop. I am reading books an stress management and started working out again. Today was one of the better days I have had in a long time. But I get so paranoid at work that I am going to make a wrong move or decision, it has effected my job terribly. I shake so bad i can hardly assist the dentist. my thoughts are scattered all over the place. I cannot focus, and I have been doing this job for 34 years. I have lost my confidence, and I need to get back to living a happy and healthy life! I finally gained back 10 lbs! That was huge for me. My size 5 body still looks weak and I have lost much muscle mass. I used to be a curvy and beautiful size 10. I feel I have aged terribly this year even though people tell me I look great! All I can say is I have to look at my days in small increments. I have a really cool biker church I am attending now. I do a lot of reading on mind body relationship. I just want to get better and am working hard at it! For all of you out there who have had rough times, we are not alone. However, I can say look at the glass half full. Appreciate what you do have going for you and try to let go of the negative and scary fears that keep us trapped. Be blessed.....trying to keep my stress under control, but not doing so well! LOL
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