Update to Anxiety or Schizophrenia - MALE 19

[Heelzs]

Over the last month I have had severe anxiety and would like advice from anyone who can try to help or relate. My background story is in my previous post. To sum things up after a panic attack 3 weeks ago my anxiety reached an all new high after being 90% healed from a hell of a year. My trigger is Schizophrenia or Physcosis or losing it (I had a close childhood friend get diagnosed with Shiz and it comeplelty ruined his life) I smoked weed alot in highschool but quit comepletely after my first panic attack. I have been diagnosed with GAD in the past and mild depression, was put on SSRI's (Cipralex 20mg) in the past but weened myself off when I felt better. Anyways back to now, 3 weeks ago I passed out drunk and had a panic attack. I felt fine for the first couple days after it but after I broke down one night due to the stress from school (freshman in college) and started feeling anxious, over a 2 week period it kind of all built up, my original fear of schizophrenia came back and I have spent countless numbers of hours on the internet reading about the illness. I think the only reason I do this is because I have been feeling a greazt deal of depersonalization, I feel like im in a trance dream state, I havent been sleeping im lucky if I get 6 hours a night, haven't been eating without feeling nauseous. So with this exhaustion I started reading on delusions and started to really worry about becoming delusional, I read a story of a guy who had Shiz and started to question reality and thought his parents werent real. After reading this I began to question myself what if my parents arent real? etc its physically and mentally exhasuting I really cant take it I feel like I am becoming SZ or losing it or something. Another example is that last night I was over at my friends place and after a few beers we watched a movie about conspiracies and stuff and it triggered really bad anxiety I went home and felt like I was gonna start to believe stuff that I would never believe before this Panic.

I have went to a mental health clinic with my mom and after an hour session I was told once again this is just your anxiety, your not going schizophrenic you never will. Why do I still question if im losing it? this is taking a huge toll on me and my family. I have got a prescription for more Cipralex and was told to start taking them again.  

[Heelzs]

FYI- when I say things like "what if this isn't real"? I don't believe it one bit its just thought of what if I began to start thinking like this, its almost like I am trying to think myself intomaking myself think like someone with Shiz would