What the heck has come over me??

Hey gang,
       This situation shouldnt be happening but, here goes...  I see a threapist (dr's orders) cause i have anxiety, panick disorder and low self esteem... As in i think im the ugliest man on the planet and i think thats why women hate me. anyway, Before i started seeing my thearapist, i was doing ok, sure i was having panc attacks then and there but as for anything else i belive i was ok..However, after each time i had a session with my thearapist, telling him why i have low self worth, etc.. Few days later, i just become so bitter at the world.  I keep thinking women are un-trustworthy and they all hate me because of my looks.. Also, few years ago i went out with this girl a coupel times, but she just wanted to be friends afterward, said i have zero confidence, etc.. Course i still think it was my looks, anyway, we did kinda remain as friends but tonight i ended the friendship.. Im just tried of being in the friendzone and i dont belive in remaining as friends if something dosent work out... why do i get so bitter after seeing a thearapist?

[Chrissy1972]

Hi detpiston7788,

First I would like to say you are certainly not an ugly guy, so please stop beating that thought into your head.  I know as a fellow anxiety & panic sufferer we do have self esteem issues. You need to love yourself before anyone can love you. So if you perceive yourself in a negative way that is how others will see you. Do you speak with your Therapist about your self esteem and relationship issues? Maybe the bitterness lies in the women you encounter and not your therapist?  Just a thought.
Anyway, I hope you recognize all the good there is in yourself and let it shine on the outside for all to see.

[Paxiled]

If you're truly working on your issues, it will get worse in therapy before it gets better.  So that's actually a good sign, pushing what's repressed into the forefront.  The ugly thing, you're probably just looking for someone to tell you you're not unless you really are ugly, in which case there's no cure for that but dating ugly women -- they're nicer anyway -- but if that's your real picture, you're just another guy.  I started thinking the same way after my first really hard breakup, and it's just low self esteem.  And possibly you're elevating women onto a level they not only aren't at but can't meet; we're all just people with lots of flaws.  And I can't for the life of me see why you'd ever want to ditch a good friend -- they're not so easy to come by.  It's not her fault she's not romantically attracted to you, but if you like her, well, that's for you to decide.  I've never gotten over that woman who dumped me all those years ago, but she's still one of my best friends because I also really like her.