I imagine i could make this a really long post, so i'll try to keep it short while still saying all the main details.
Long story short, I used to be a rather sociable person, (shy around family tho) back in my younger years be4 i got
acne around age 15.
That is when i shut down myself and kept on saying to myself ''ill be my old self once my acne clears'' which never happend. I still had some friends that i knew didnt mind my acne
That is when i started overanalyzing everything, All the food i eat, whatever i drink, working out, my life bassicaly became just trying to clear my skin and playing video games in the meanwhile which i actually got really good at(almost professional level).
Basically i got comfortable with my life as a gamer
Now im 22, my acne somewhat cleared. and a month ago i just had a boom effect on my mind.
I lost all interest in games, watching streams, and now im just trying to go out and socialize with any1.
i cant sit at home, I think i feel like a teenage 15 year old again.
I just wanna go out, which kind of looks pathetic that a 22 year old is just roaming through the neighbourhood.
To make it all worse, i am a rather picky person when it comes to friends and in general.
I'm trying to reconnect with some of my old friends but i dont wanna seem desperate.
I also have a hard time relaxing completely, i always think about pointless stuff, going on and on thinking about
really useless stuff.
Should i take this apple, or the other one, this 1 has a better shape, but the other 1 has better colour, and i would just stand in the grocery shop for 10 minutes choosing an apple.
I also always have to have something in my hand to play with, a piece of paper, bottle plug, piece of rubber, my own
I'll also mention that i look like a 17year old rather than 22.
i am a rather pale person with multiple symptoms of hypothyroidism which i never got checked.
Something just exploded in me in the last month and now i just feel like i felt when i was 15 years old.
Any tips on how to stop overanalyzing everything and relax abit more and stop playing with my hands would be greatly appreciated
I'd say your long history with this suggests a need for a good therapist to work out why you're been feeling so insecure for so long. While you sound like you suffer from depression and anxiety, it seems to stem from deep feelings of insecurity from an early age and maybe this is something you can work on and work out. This is very common with us humans. Good luck.
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