Why are daily anxiety levels like this?

[legend88]

I have posted here before in the forum and at this point am still, after 5 mos with this illness, trying to come to grips with reality this can possibly be an anxiety disorder.  After finishing a squatting routine in the gym (never did before), I felt a pinch in my neck and left arm began to tremble.  After some time I developed a major headache, ended up in the ER and after MANY tests in ER and offices (EMG, NCV, MRI w/contrast head, CT scan head, MRA neck, sonograms, blood tests, trips to specialists, the consensus is that I have anxiety.  For awhile I did not sleep for days at a time, lost my appetite completely, and had recurring issues with pain in my neck and head with some episodes of possible panic.  My hands trembled, teeth chattered. I lost 20 lbs.  Since then while my sleep and appetite have somewhat returned and pains/trembling reduced and have gained back most of the weight, doctors have already dismissed me with clonazepam @ 0.5 mg once daily, usually an hour before bed and 5mg lexapro (I wont take).  I am left with fear of some illness not discovered, that is my anxiety, as I am the only advocate for my health.  I continue to complain about whole body, esp arm weakness, the unwilllingness to do anything, the lack of desire, the bouts of irritability, esp a dull fog in the back of my head, occasional tinnitus, and the constant elevated state of 'anxiety' throughout the daylight hours.  I was physically fit before the episode, but have not returned to the gym because of great fatigue.  It seems the only times I feel close to normal are when I lay down or after 9 pm.  My body seems to calm naturally without meds in eves or during day as long as I am not sitting or standing.  BP has been checked and normal.  Pulse is 60-65 BPM sitting, maybe 80 standing at most.  When I awaken in AM, I start to feel the following chain of events:
--Increasing weakness of the arms and internal trembling from the shoulders to my chest
--slighly weakened lower limbs
--mild teeth chatter
--general fatigue and lack of energy
--not giving a rats *** about anything
--mild pressure from the back of the head from ear to ear
--lethargic activity, slow
--tightness in the back of the throat
--more recently, cramping of the fingers and wrists
--more recently, muscle fasciculation, esp in the arms, comes and goes
--feelings I might 'completely lose it'

As I said earlier I am taking Clonazepam, 0.5 mg at night, going on 3 mos.  4 days ago I started taking Magnesium Glycinate@ 200 mg daily with a multivitamin.  I will give this 3 more days and if no effect increase to 400 mg/daily.

I guess I am so fed up now with all this because I feel I am going to lose my family soon.  I dont even sleep in the same room with my wife because I am afraid I wont get a good night's sleep with the kids walking in at odd hours.  
I don't function during the day and have lost focus at work.  I may lose my job soon.  

I need to know how to cope.  My psychologist is a CBT but its not working.  Once a week sessions don;t seem fast enough. Doctors are managing risk only with me at this point.  I don't like meds and had a tough time enough taking Clonazepam.  I need alternatives and short term solutions to handle during the day if this is anxiety until a solution can be found.  I have spent countless days researching my health issues but there are so many for this area.  I do not know how long I can hold on until I lose total control, esp if physical symptoms worsen, or I have some mental breakdown.  I was healthy 5 mos ago, not a problem with my life, then this.  I am broken.
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[flob]

you talk about all that is wrong with you...and really it does all seem anxiety related...but to me you seem to want this all to just go away or for meds to just kick it out the door...but it doesn't work like that. i don't doubt that you want to feel better. anyone with anxiety issues wants to feel better...but you need to be more mentally pro-active. you have mentioned all of the physical reasons for your anxiety, but i don't see anything beyond that. for example, over the past 8 years i've developed an extreme fear that i'll die of something, whether it be cancer, heart problems, car crash....whatever. now i could tell you all the PHYSICAL reasons why i would think i might have cancer and i'm going to die...but they don't really matter when dealing with my anxiety. what really does matter is that i know it's anxiety and that it probably stems from the sudden death of my dad when i was  young. so knowing that, i can proceed with trying to work through my anxieties. it helps me deal with it better to know the root of that particular obsession of mine. sometimes anxiety does cross over into obsessive compulsive disorder. a lot of people assume OCD is repeated hand washing or touching your nose 4 times each morning or whatever...but really it's an anxiety disorder and most of the horror of OCD is in the obsessions and anxiety, not the compulsions. likewise, people with general anxiety disorders can cross into that realm of OCD, and i think you might be doing that to a slight degree.

ultimately, what i got from your post is that you need to gain a better understanding of why you are the way you are. meds can help with the physical effects of anxiety disorders, but they can't help eliminate the cause. thats just my opinion though. have you already gone down this route? or have you just been worried about what may physically be wrong with you?

[legend88]

I realize that there may be a root cause emotionally for many people suffering from anxiety symptoms, but I am taking the most scientific, logical approach I can to u/s what has happened. I had a physical occurrence that triggered an anxiety attack.  Since then I have experienced anxiety symptoms but don't have an emotional history prior to that, nor have I ever taken rx or recreational drugs.  I do not consider myself obsessed, but more along the lines of advocating for my own illness since I don't see any results from the medical field.  Certainly there is frustration, along with mixed emotions which spurn from the physical symptoms that occur unpredictably, but anxiety is not the underlying cause, IMO.  It's the unpredictable nature of the physical symptoms I experience that creates the anxiety for me.  Clonazepam reduces the anxiety, but doesn't mask physical attributes.  It just makes me worry about them less while its working.  I think a lot of people assume they have an OCD or GAD patient on their hands when the patient shows emotional distress, period.  The truth is there are many underlying causes for anxiety, and they are physical or chemical.   The problem is once the medical profession has found no major cause for your illness, they discontinue pursuit of the answers and put you on something to make you feel better so you can remain dismissed for as long as possible.  Like I told my GP, "your belief is to wait and see, but are you performing the autopsy?"  The amount of people in the US on anxiety meds is astounding, which makes one beleive there is a great amount of misdiagnosis and subjects the profession to extreme scrutiny.   I don't want to be one of their (and pharma industry) trial and error anxiety med sufferers.  The more I can rule out physically, the better I feel.  That is my mental approach to this.  But I am not waiting years to combat it and dig myself into a hole, which is how my GP approaches it.  One thing I found useful is not to tell any Dr you have anxiety.  Its interesting to see their reaction once you tell them that before they ever examine you.  Its like you are placed into a completely different status.  

[allmymarbles]

Symptoms like this are generally thought to be psychological. That is an easy out. I had serious problems for 30 years (insomnia was the worst). Finally it was found that I was hypoglycemic and hypothyroid. Actually I did my research, thought I had it figured out,  and had the doctor run tests. They were positive. (Why do I have to be my own doctor?) More recently is suffered adrenal fatigue as a side effect of Advair. My doctor did not put two and two together. I did. Got off the poison - no more fatigue. (The fatigue was so bad that sometimes I could not walk.)

Research your condition. You know yourself. The doctors don't. They are particularly inept with conditions that have a psychological component. They drug you and send you off to the shrink. Bad medicine.

[Paxiled]

My own experience is that doctors and psychiatrists are largely morons.  Traditional medical education combined with the rush health insurance companies order on them and their own desire to maximize their incomes conditions them to think inside a narrow box.  Now, I have no idea what you have --magnesium is a very good try.  It also sounds like it could be thyroid or blood sugar, but lots of us with anxiety think we have that, too, and don't.  Most of us got it out of nowhere.  But I always say follow your instincts.  What I would do if you can't find a doctor who hasn't lost his curiosity and who has a desire to heal instead of just earn that paycheck is try a holistic nutritionist.  They can run tests, too, which are usually more thorough than what most doctors are allowed by their insurance companies to run.  That can eliminate a lot of things and lead to trying some things.  Maybe it works, maybe it doesn't.  If you can afford it, that's another avenue to try.  If it turns out to anxiety, though, don't expect any magic cure.  There isn't one.  Some people by sheer force of will use CBT or other techniques to overcome it, some learn to live with it, some turn to medication to at least mitigate it.  A lot of people get better.  You can too.  But if it's anxiety, it'll take time, patience, and a positive attitude.  Which brings up the possibility of depression -- it can cause anxiety, too, and if you have it, it makes it harder to deal with anxiety.  Anyway, this is all just food for thought for you, since, again, I have no idea what happened to you.