a little help needed

[tanns]

Hi, I have been bouncing back between this forum and the heart forum for quite a few months now.  But today, I am hoping this is where I belong.  I don't feel very good right now.  This morning I got a sharp pain below my left breast and it was like the one that gave me my very first panic attack almost 18 months ago.  I felt immediate panic when I felt it and was able to talk myself down from it.  I thought.

I feel so weird right now and it has almost been 3 hours since that first pain.  I took my little ones to school and went to the store and felt okay.  Now I don't.  I feel like I need to write my goodbyes to everyone because this is it.  I now it sounds dramatic but I'm serious.  I feel that weird.  I've been tested, tested and retested, this CAN'T be a heart related issue.  I'm jittery, clammy and although I feel like my heart is racing, it is only at 75-80.  Doesn't it have to be high if you are having a panic attack?  I don't feel like I am but I feel like I am having SEVERE anxiety but can't find out why.  I'm not even thinking of that pain from this morning.  I would figure that all this would have happened when the pain happened.  My head feels light and my intestinal system is all out of whack now.

Does this sound like anxiety?  I have been having anxiety feelings for a while now but this feels different, could this just be a more severe form today?

Thanks for letting me ramble.

[hatgal]

Ok, I'm here to help you.  Yes, everything you describe is anxiety, especially if you've been tested for heart issues, which you have/had to do just in case (that's why this disease stinks).

This is what happens to me with an anxiety attack (JUST LIKE YOU):  I get very clammy; I get lightheaded; I feel like I'm dying; my bowels go haywire and I get diarhea (diarrhea); I get very jittery; I feel extremely wierd also; and no, your heart rate does not necessary go up - it just feels that way b/c it's racing.  Your bp shouldn't really go up either although it feels like it does.

So, yes, you are having an anxiety attack.  Do you have any meds that you can take right now?  Like klonopin, xanax?  Take one if you do.  If not, sit down in a yoga-like sit, close your eyes or focus on something in the room, and concentrate on your breathing, taking even, slow, calm breaths. Get your mind off the anxiety and onto something that makes you oh so happy. If you have a pet at home, hold it and focus on it. Just try to get your mind off the anxiety.

I wish I could reach through the computer to help you, but you have to get this under control.  I hope my suggestions help you and if you don't have any meds you can take, please ask your doctor for klonopin for the next time you have this - it works wonders!

Please post back to let me know how you're doing.  Best........

[tanns]

Thank you for responding.  I could just cry.  I don't feel like calling my family because they've seen the "normal" tests results for a year and a half and they don't understand.  But the thing is something isn't normal.  I feel normal but I'm not, something is whacky in my body and I can't figure it out.  

I don't have anything to take.  I tried xanax at the beginning of all this about six times and it was a nightmare for me and made everything worse.  I tried nine months of Lexapro last year and that didn't help either.  

Generally I feel something "off" daily but today I feel different.  It is way worse and scary.  I pick my kids up in 30 minutes and I'm taking them to the park, I'm hoping this will help.  

I can't tell you how much I needed your reply.  Thank you, thank you, thank you.

[hatgal]

I know you feel something just isn't right - that is the nature of this beastly disease.  I've been through EVERY test there is throughout my past 12 years with this.  A few actual physical things were found, but nothing life-threatening.

You are fine physically, you have to come to that conclusion, but alas, you must also follow through with testing, just in case (stinks, right?).

And, after 12 years, my husband has finally gotten it (as have I).

I've heard mixed reviews about xanax and lexapro.  My husband takes lexapro and I take zoloft and sometimes klonopin.  Call your doc TODAY and get yourself some klonopin - I don't think there are any adverse side effects to it (read through the posts re: klonopin). It's a valium-type med and just totally calms you, but does not wig you out at all.

I feel so bad for you, but please, rest assured that this is "only" anxiety.  Post back and let me know how you're doing.

Best........

[Raine9]

I just hope you feel better.  I have kids too.  So I can identify with that.  It's hard to take care of yourself when you have kids to worry about.  When I feel bad, I find that I feel better when I go to a public place like the mall and walk around to get my mind off things.  Stay with us.  Everyone needs each other in this forum.  It has helped me the last few weeks since I discovered it.

[LBSooner]

Hang in there!! I think I have had the worst week of my three months of axniety attacks. We will all be fine.

Thanks,
LB

[suzi-q]

Hello Tanns....been a while since I have seen you!  Yes, when i have a severe attack it can take a whole day to feel normal again..it throws your whole body out of whack...I understand.

You sound like you may have some depression also...I feel that you may need therapy, not just meds....and I am telling you this because I have lived this.  You need someone to talk to....

one of the biggest mistakes a person makes with this horrible condition is that if they feel better for a few days  they think they have it licked and then get so disappointed when it hits again...and sometimes, worse than ever...it is a tricky, sinister condition.  It takes time, lots of time to rid yourself of the panic.  People who feel they are better get so angry at themselves if it happens again and that just feeds the anxiety.  You have to learn to roll with it.  "Today is a bad day...tomorrow will be better."  or, maybe "Wow, today was a good day."..and leave it at that.  You have to trick the anxiety right back and not give it all the attention it is craving...it is like a whiney child...keep paying attention it won't stop...if you ignore him/her..it will get worse for a while, but then it will slowly start to give up....I wish you the best and hope you feel better soon.

[tanns]

Thank you all for your kind words and support.  

I just got back (actually I am at my mom's now!) from the park with my kids and I thought that would do the trick.  Unfortunately, it didn't.  It won't seem to go away.  I have this horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach and every so often that icky wave of weakness rushes over me.  I think I'd rather have a full on panic attack and get it over with than to have this lingering feeling.  I wish I understood this.  I am not having any chest/heart symptoms right now but I feel like I am going to die.  I know that sounds so ridiculous and irrational.  I know it does, but there is no rationalizing right now.

Is there any end to this?  I got a reply from the Mental Health forum doc yesterday and I thought, okay, it really is JUST anxiety.  But JUST anxiety is an understatement.  I have really, really underestimated the power of anxiety.  Now I just have to get over the "why is this happening" and just accept that it IS happening.  Of course, not that easy.

I just don't understand why I am still feeling so weird.  I just want to hug my kids and not let go.  I've told them a million times that "mommy loves you".  I do that all the time, but today it's been more like "you know how much mommy loves you?  mommy will always love you".  Nothing gives me more pleasure than my kids, we have a lot of fun together, they are 4 and 5 are at such a great age.  They have no idea I'm feeling this way and I hope that I can keep it that way.  But the rest of my family, although my husband did a lot of reading on anxiety and says he understands, is about over it.  Not in so many words and they have been incredibly supportive during this 18 months.  My dad spent a week with me at the Mayo Clinic so I could get tested there.  I wouldn't have made it through this without them but now I think they are wanting me to "get over it".  It's never been said, but my mom thinks it's all about positive thinking.  Oh how I wish it was.

Can anxiety last persistantly all day like this?  It is almost like one minute I am okay and the next I am fighting off nausea and feelings like I am going to die.  Even as I right that I would almost giggle if I weren't so darn scared.  It sounds utterly ridiculous.

Wow, I really did ramble this time.  I am making no sense at all just typing as all these feelings come on.  

I have been able read over the posts in the past and be okay.  Today is different and for your replies I thank you all.  I really need it today.  It has been immensly helpful to me....really.

[tanns]

Thank you.  I have never thought I needed a therapist in the past because I was so convinced it was a cardiac problem and the only doc I needed was a cardiologist.  After being cleared by 4 of them, it is becoming more and more apparent that I need one.  I am going to be looking for one and hopefully can find one that specializes in health related anxiety.  (If anyone lives in Florida and knows of one, let me know!!!)

You are right, when I have a great day I think it's over.  I beat it.  Then the next day I turn around and get some kind of pain that freaks me out.  And it starts all over again.  Can this be beat???

I hope you are doing well!

Thanks for responding, the support on this site is amazing.

[BethanySublime]

i know how you feel...we're so sure it's anxiety until it's happening and there's always something that makes us believe it's something different this time.  that's what I get so frustrated about too.  it sounds like it is only anxiety though.  if you find a good health anxiety therapist in FL let me know too please!!

[tanns]

It is so true.  A little earlier I felt okay and I was talking to my mom and told her how irrational the thought of it being something heart related was and that I knew it was anxiety.  But it started again and now all that is thrown out the window.  I'm leaving her house in a little while and going home.  I can be distracted until my kids go to sleep and then when my husband does I am terrified of what will happen.  It seems to be worse when the day is done and everyone is gone to bed, I don't know if I can do worse today.

I am starting to feel panicky again.  I feel my chest heavy and I am getting short of breath.  I am feeling like, what if this is different this time.  This is so hard and I really didn't think it could last all day like this, that's why I am getting more and more paranoid and that is also fueling the panic.  Wow, what a vicious cycle.

How can you beat this????

[tanns]

Okay, I know that I am being the biggest pain in the rear today.  But it's getting worse and I feel like I am going to run to the ER, except I can't.  It would cost too much money and I know the results will be normal.  But right now I feel far from normal and my chest is started to hurt.  I KNOW it can't be heart related, I keep telling myself that but it's not working!  I've never had this feeling, this bad, for this long.  And I haven't felt anything like this since all this started happening and that was 18 months ago so I don't know if it IS the same or not which is also fueling my panic.  This is horrible.  I feel like I'm having a pity party and I know it sounds like I'm really being negative but I'm not.  I'm trying to go about my business.  I've been outside, watered the plants, played like crazy with my kids, gave them a bath and now we are getting ready to play skip-bo (their favorite along with UNO!!).  I feel like I will have no concentration and feel like a jittery mess.  I haven't told my husband yet because I don't want to do it in front of my kids.  I don't need them worrying about weirded out mommy right now!!  Okay, I'm just typing and typing so that I can keep from thinking so I apologize if this makes NO sense and is full of spelling errors.

I'm done rambling......for now.  Hopefully I won't be hogging all the space tonight!!

[hatgal]

I am so sorry that I did not mention a therapist as well. OMG - when I was first dx'd with this, it didn't take long.  Had my first attack, my neighbor told me what it was, I went for a few tests during that week, but by the end of the week, I was convinced it was anxiety (I'm lucky I had alot of people - MD's and neighbors/friends who steared me in this direction).  As soon as I succomned to t hat realization, I was in therapy within a week.  Boy oh boy did I find out things about myself I never realized - I am a control freek!  Not really like I like to control people; just if my world is not as I want it or something is out of my hands, the anxiety and panic set in.

But, I did not have anxiety attacks b/f I had kids (of course, kids have minds of their own and apparently my hormones did not like th is). So that is why I believe mine is also hormonally driven and that is where the zoloft kicks in - it is a hormonal imbalance that the zoloft puts back into balance.

I was in therapy every week for about a year along with the meds and learned alot and it also helped to go talk to someone unbiased.  I still refer to her in dire times, but you will learn through therapy how to deal with your emotions better and you will carry that throughout the rest of your life.

It will get better, but like being physically sick, you are mentally sick and there is no shame in that, but you must get help - medicinal aswell as therapeutic.

I feel sooooo bad for you; I know exactly how you feel.  I had not had an attack for about 7 years and then this past winter, had 2 where I was taken by ambulance from my home.  The klonopin took that long to kick in and I was extremely stressed to begin with. By the time I got to the hospital my klonopin kicked in and I realized it was all anxiety, AGAIN!  So I discharged myself - no heart attack, no stroke, etc. etc.

The sooner you realize this is ALL anxiety, the sooner you can get the help you need.  My heart goes way out to  you and I am up late at night, so please feel free to post - I'll be here.  Florida is also two hours behind me, so I'll definitely be here (Chicago).

Best, best to you and please check in with me later.

Elizabeth

[hatgal]

Sorry, I am 2 hours behind Florida, so I'll be here!

[spade22]

Hi Tann,

take a look at this website: http://www.paniccenter.net  and try the "anxiety test" at the right of the page.  There are a number of questions to answer and it will give you a good idea if you are suffering from an illness such as: anxiety, depression, OCD, agrophobia etc. based on your answers to a number of questions.  It will also give you a formal report that you can take to the doctor which details all your symptoms and possible "diagnosis".  With this in hand, you can begin tackling the problem.

Many of your symptoms do sound anxiety-based.  Of course there are other causes for your symptoms but if tests have been carried out and you have been given the "all-clear" then it is likely you are suffering from a "disease" caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain.   If this is the case, there are many options to help you get back to a normal life - therapy, medications, etc.  Also, as I have said to several people, just because one medication doesnt work for you, it doesnt mean the MANY others out there wont... its a matter of finding the right one at the right dosage.  

Also note that I said mental illness is a "disease" - yes, it is a disease just like diabetes and is identical in the fact it is caused by the bodies inability to regulate and/or appropriately process certain chemicals.  As Suzi often says, if you had diabetes you would treat that with medication.....  why should this be any different? The physical symptoms just manifeast themselves in a different way and are not always obvious to an outsider or even a doctor.  Your symtpoms are NOT in your head either and you are NOT crazy.

So, why not take a look at the website and answer the questionare and let us know what the outcome is - I think, you may find you exhibit many symptoms of GAD and knowing that, in itself, may help eleviate your fears as you will be closer to a diagnosis and the appropriate help.

[Raine9]

Initially, you need to see a psychiatrist.  They are MDs and can determine if what you are feeling is truly psychosomatic. He or she will prescribe meds if it is appropriate.  Then you need to find a good therapist. The therapist helps you deal with your problems on an emotional level so that you don' t become dependent on the meds.

I have always been an anxious person and a hypochondriac.  But after giving birth last May and my health scare last summer, I kinda lost control.  (I go into detail in one of my post from a couple of weeks ago, if you're interested.)  

Anyways, I saw a therapist last October.  And she helped me understand what I was going through.  I didn't know a thing about anxiety disorders before I saw her.  I never realized what anxiety could do to a person.  That it can actually give them physical symptoms.  So can depression, so keep that in mind...  But it does take a lot of convincing to the person that it is only anxiety.  My first physical symptom was difficulty swallowing.  When it came about, I was so frightened.  I wasn't convinced that it was just anxiety until I got an upper endoscopy.  When I finally accepted that it was anxiety, the difficulty swallowing eventually went away.  Problem is, now everytime I get worried about something, I get a new symptom.  My latest symptom is shortness of breath.  This started the night before my appointment with my gyno in January.  I thought I felt something in my breast.  Thought my gyno was gonna have me do a mammogram.  My breathing got better but came back in Mid-March along with chest tightness.  The symptoms have gotten somewhat better but I still don't know if it is just anxiety.  I have an appointment with a pulmonary specialist next Monday.

Last note, when and if you do find a psychiatrist and or therapist, make sure that you like the person.  Don't feel like you need to stick with them.   Some therapists suck.  They don't give a ****!  You need to find one that really cares.  They are out there.  

Best of luck to you.  I am on the west coast. It's only 4 p.m. over here.  So I will be reading your posts too!

P.S.  You are a great mother.  When I get irritable (anxiety and depression causes this)  or when I feel bad physically, I don't have patience with my kids and I feel so guilty!  My kids are younger, 11 months and 3 years old.  

[hypnotik200]

iv been having the same pain uv been experincing for a while now im on celxea i dont know if that has anything to do with it but yeh. hang in there its got to be anxiety caus eme and u both are still here hah. try not to worry about it as much im trying not to it will work out just relax and deep breath that alwayz helps me and jus lay down and chill out for a while. i hope you get to feeling better god bless u and ev other person with this terrible disorder!!

[tanns]

Oh, how I wish I would have known more about this disease when all this started.  I went to the cardio within the first week of that first attack and he called it at anxiety.  Gave me xanax and on my zillionth visit, decided I needed Lexapro.  I took the xanax and hated in and four months after my prescription for Lexapro was filled, I took my first pill.  I was on it for almost 2 weeks when I decided to get a second opinion on the cardiac stuff.  When I told her I was on Lexapro and how much I had been scared to take it she said to stop taking it.  She actually said "poison for the brain"!!  Major freakout!  I stopped taking it right away but after all my tests were done with her and she told me I needed a hobby because I was bored, I left that practice and started the Lexapro again.  A hobby?  Geez, I felt horrible.   I took the Lexapro and didn't have much relief with that so I weaned off of it about nine months later.  No one, not one of the cardiologists have mentioned a therapist.  I've also seen 2 gp's, a gastro, ent and probably someone else I am forgetting.  Those in addition to all the docs (5) I saw at the Mayo Clinic in February, and NO ONE has mentioned a therapist.  I will be calling around tomorrow to find someone, hopefully between the university and the hospitals I can get a good recommendation.

My youngest son was 2.5 when all this started.  The weird thing is when they are doing their thing and going crazy, I feel NO anxiety whatsoever.  Nothing.  My friends don't believe it but I don't.  I think the tattleing rattles me more than the fighting (to be fair, it's not that often though).  I have been trying to track my cycles to see if I am feeling worse around ovulation or right before my period.  I can't tell.  All I know is that today is WAY off the charts for me and I am scared.

I want to thank you so much for helping me today.  I will probably be taking you up on your offer to post late, I am hoping it gets better tonight though.  I never thought I would be so, so frightened over this.  

[tanns]

I will check out the website, thanks.  I have checked out a couple anxiety books, a couple I read about on here that people recommended.  The panic symptoms seemed to fit me to a tee, but I can't figure out the anxiety part.  My sister pounds in my head for me to STOP trying to figure out "why", but I can't find a trigger.  That scares me because I've read if you isolate the trigger, you stop the anxiety.  No trigger means I can't stop the anxiety.  In my head anyway.  Part of that is the frustration that there is no test to definitively diagnosis anxiety and rule out all the other physical stuff.  That would make it so much easier.  The "what if I am different" thing is distracting and causes nothing but more stress.

Lexapro didn't seem to work for me and I wasn't willing to try something else at that time (I stopped about 6 months ago).  I am now.  I am scared because getting on Lexapro was hard for me, I felt horrible for the first week or so but I want to beat this and get on with my life.

"Your symtpoms are NOT in your head either and you are NOT crazy."
Thanks for that statement, I know it but when I start to talk about it, sometimes I wonder.  It is a different feeling or pain so often that it seems to be in my head sometimes.

Thanks again.

[tanns]

The psychiatrist and therapist are not one in the same?  I know that the psychiatrist is the one who can prescribe but do they not do the therapy thing too?  I said in an earlier post that I am going to try to find someone tomorrow.  Or at least get some recommendations.  The University of Florida up in Gainesville supposeably has a health related psychology department.  I think that is where I need to start.  I am assuming all this is stemming from the first panic attack I had that I thought was a heart attack.  I think.  Gosh, I WANT to think.  I don't think there is anything deeper in my head somewhere!!

I've never been an anxious person, at least not that controlled my life like now.  I didn't worry about day to day things or my health.  Until now.  Now every little off feeling sends me over the edge.  I have said before that the little eyelid twitch that we all have now and then scares the heck out of me now.  Irrational I know.  And I know that I know.  But it still happens.

I know very little about anxiety disorders and I think being more educated about them and what they can do will help me immensly.  I don't feel depressed, but really, I just don't know anymore.  I am willing to explore all avenues now.  I tried a vitamin regimen but I didn't notice much difference.  I have a really good multivitamin and I added some Vit C, Vit B complex and Magnesium/Calcium to that.  Truly, saw no difference (just bright colored pee from the Vit B!!!  OK, just had to not make this post so depressing, hopefully didn't gross anyone out!).  I am back to taking my original multivitamin.

I have shortness of breath too.  Sometimes it feels like someone is placed a weight on the middle of my chest, just below the breastbone and I can't breath fully.  I've seen a pulmonologist too and the only thing they found was a nodule on the lung.  It didn't change in 18 months of CT's so they said it was benign.  I didn't see a pulmonologist at the Mayo Clinic but they did my last CT scan and a radiologist and a pulmonologist looked at them.  I always, always assume it is part of my "heart" problem and it freaks me out even more.

The only person that I know that sees a psychiatrist doesn't really like him but he is known around here for being REALLY good at prescribing the right medication and keeping the dose right.  That right now is more important to her than a bedside manner.  I think I need both right now.

On a nonanxiety note, we are heading west this summer.  We are from Washington State and will be heading back there to do some camping.  My husband has applied for a job up there so maybe we'll be heading there permantly.  I've never been a Florida girl!!!  Love the mountains, don't care for the beach!!

As for my kids, I had a BIG turning point not so long ago.  My son got really, really sick with the stomach virus.  His doctors really missed the boat with diagnosing him with dehydration and I wasn't demanding enough, until we went to the ER (then I was a big, giant Momma grizzly bear, I was out to protect my little bear cub).  Anyway, I was holding him one of those nights and I felt his heart beat really erratically.  Not just fast, but abnormal.  It scared me so bad.  With my crazy heart neurosis I thought he was really ill and not just with the stomach virus.  I vowed that day, never, EVER was I going to get irritated with him because of how I felt or what I was going through.  When I feel really crappy, we'll grab a book or make up stories.  That is what I want him to remember when he grows up or when I'm gone and it is what I want to remember about my time with him.  

I'm sure you are a great mom.  Don't be hard on yourself!!  

[Raine9]

I guess you can also talk to a psychiatrist but they're probably more expensive cuz they are MDs.  I always thought that the psychiatrist do the prescribing and the therapist does the talking.  Well, my doc wants me to see a psychiatrist first cuz he thinks I might also be suffering from post pardom depression and a psych can better diagnose that and prescribe the right med if needed.  

My doc also gave me Xanax a few weeks ago.  He didn't bother to tell me how addictive it is and how bad the withdrawal symptoms can be.  So if a doc gives you meds be sure to ask questions and do your own research!  Luckily, I only took it 3 times.  I'm not into drugs of any kind.  I'm all about organic foods and natural alternatives.  The anxiety just got so bad, I needed some relief.  This forum has really helped me though.  Being able to post my comments and read other people's experiences is very therapeutic.  I wish I had discovered this forum a year ago.  I was in really bad shape last year so I can relate to what you are going through.  Last year, I would cry all the time and wake up in the mornings feeling scared for no reason.  Anxiety attacks most people either in the morning or at night when they are winding down.

You have a lung problem too.  Nice to know I'm not alone.  In one of my earlier posts from a couple of weeks ago, I go into detail about this thing they found in my lungs last summer.  That was my health scare.  That's what triggered all this anxiety in me.  The docs "think" that it was left there by a previous illness.

Anyway, I hope you are feeling better.  Tommorrow will be better day.  I know it's easier said than done, but get a good night's rest.  Try a glass of wine, if you're into that.  Wine relaxes me.  

P.S.  You can also get a lot of info on anxiety from certain websites.  I did a lot of research on the net after my therapist told me about anxiety.  Just
Google "anxiety" "generalized anxiety disorder" etc., etc.
  

[tanns]

I can believe that your doc didn't tell you about the dangers of xanax.  Mine didn't either and when I told him about my reactions to it, he said it was because I needed to increase my dose.  Same thing with the Lexapro.  When I told him I didn't think it was working, he told me to double the dose, to 20mg.  That is when I decided to wean myself off.  Remember, this doc was my CARDIOLOGIST and from what the pharmacist said, he shouldn't be messing with doses of medicine like that.  The best information I have ever gotten about medicine was from a pharmacist and actually he is a neighbor and family friend.  Also, the pharmacist at the Mayo Clinic was absolutely AMAZING.  I needed info on an antibiotic and the resources and information he gave me was out of this world.  I will, from now on, always talk to the pharmacist when getting a medicine.

I think my "heart" scare, aka: my first panic attackl, is what triggered this anxiety in me.  I never thought it would last this long and I am scared of what that means for the future.  I have just gotten home from a busy morning and plan on calling around for a therapist today.

Thanks for your very much needed support and replying to my messages.  All of the people who responded will never, ever know how much I really appreciate it and needed it.  Today is better but not great.  I don't feel the totally irrational craziness I had yesterday.  I do feel off though and at times get a little scared I am having a heart issue.  The pains, pings and pangs are happening and I have a REALLY bad shortness of breath.  Again it feels like someone has put a weight on the center of my chest right below the sternum.  But, today I can talk myself down whereas yesterday I couldn't.  

Thank you, thank you, thank you!!

[suzi-q]

Tanns,

That is why we are all here!  We all understand and KNOW!!!!  I am glad that you are feeling a little better today...One day at a time...and just let it be....as I said before, you cannot stress yourself out over having that anxiety..it just doubles it!!!  You have to  be "friends" with the anxiety and try to say to "it".."hey you want to come along with me today, that is just fine"...panicking and getting "mad" at it will make it worse....just give it a try...a little at a time...the more you practice, the more you will see that your anxiety can subside.

[hatgal]

Hi - I was waiting to see if you were alright (should have posted to you earlier - sorry).

You mentioned something about your cycles and, yes, my anxiety/out-of-control feelings get worse a few days b/f my period -sometimes pretty bad. So it's good to know that and watch your days.  When you get on some proper meds you can take a little more the few days b/f your period - like klonopin which I HIGHLY recommend for you.  

I don't know how you are about flying on a plane, but I am TERRIFIED (that out-of-control feeling again).  However, I have planned a trip by myself to go see my best friend in Charlotte this weekend.  So please pray for me that it goes smoothly; it's only 1.5  hours each way and it's non-stop.  I haven't flown in about 9 years!

I am going to take that course that someone mentioned here - fear of flying.com - before I go.  I think if I could sit in the cockpit and help control the plane, I'd be better.

Anyway, please post whenever you feel like rambling and I'll do the same. You're still very much in my thoughts and I hope that you get some help very, very, very soon!!!

Best.........

[tanns]

I have, as I said before, totally underestimated the power of anxiety.   There was a response by one of the docs to a question in the doctor mediated heart forum and I just wanted to paste it here:

To be honest the symptoms and clinical situation does sound much more like anxiety than cardiac chest pain. The negative work up should be reassuring and are the same tests a cardiologist would ordered. You are clearly not at ease with the diagnosis and I agree that a second opinion is necessary to confirm the opinion of the first and also help to put your mind at ease. Dealing with anxiety is difficult enough, but always having it in the back of your mind that their could be something really wrong makes it impossible for you to move on. I honestly believe that people have an anxiety induced chest pain syndrome, you MUST believe there is not a heart problem in order to combat the anxiety issue.

This totally is me, although the question wasn't asked by me.  This response though is really, really good, I think.  For anyone reading this post and dealing with chest related pains and an anxiety diagnosis I think it is great.  I think also that it can apply to anyone who thinks the have a tumor or cancer or something horrible but has the "all-clear" from the doctors.

I have had a somewhat better day.  It is just after 8:00, my kids are sleeping and I'm still okay.  We played a lot again today and I tried to keep my mind free or anything.  Wow, that is hard.

Thanks again, suzi-q, I really appreciate the support.

I was just thinking, have you dived into the Linden Method yet?  I kind of let it go for a while but now that yesterday happened, I'm checking it out again.

[tanns]

I am feeling not so desperate today and truely thankful to be here today.  I am going to try to ask about klonopin, I have always been a really bad pill taker, and even worse since all this happened and especially after my trial of xanax but now I have no choice.  If I want to get better, I have to do SOMETHING!!

I will have you in our prayers for your trip.  It's funny (not haha funny) but I've had a extreme fear of flying for at least 15 years.  I've flown maybe 3 times in that time.  I always said that I had panic attacks at the thought of flying or at the airport.  Boy was I WRONG!!  After my panic attack 18 months ago, what I had flying or at the airport was NOTHING!!!  I think it is control for me too.  My husband and I have been married 14 years and we've driven from Florida to Washington State over 8 times because I'd rather DRIVE than fly.  The last time was last year with our kids (our first MAJOR roadtrip with kids) and although they were soo amazingly good, I won't do it again.  I am willing to try to fly now and almost, as ironic as this is, I feel like flying is the LEAST of my worries now.  Isn't that insane?

Anyways, I'll be thinking of you and sending you lots of positive thoughts (even though I KNOW you'll do great) and I hope you post back about your trip!!

Thank you again, I can't say that enough.

[Raine9]

It sounds like you are doing better.  I am happy for you.  I wasn't up to posting anything yesterday.  My appointment with the pulmonary spec is quickly approaching and I am getting more and more nervous about it.  I have a feeling he's gonna order a chest x-ray.  Scary thoughts have been going through my head.  I hate this.

I read the response you posted from the forum doctor.  It's true when a person has anxiety they need medical confirmation that there is nothing wrong with them.  I haven't got that yet for my shortness of breath.  Speaking of which, you indicated that you also suffer from this.  Can you describe what it's like for you?  Do you feel it all the time or most of the time?  How long has it been going on?

[suzi-q]

Began reading it, and listened to one tape...The introduction......What it is basically saying is that you need a diversion...something that you can totally focus your attention on...for example, Linden focuses on Photography...there are also a bunch of meditation tapes and what is called the 9 Pilars...I haven't gotten that far yet...I am soooo sorry....but I am sure that you understand having little ones at home!  When do I get a minute to do relaxation tapes????  I get up at 5, leave the house at 5:30...come home around 4.  When my daughter is finally asleep at 8, I am right behind her to bed!!!  I promise to make more of an effort to read it and see....heck, I spent enough money on it!!!

[tanns]

I will be thinking of you next Monday and sending you lots of good thoughts.  I hope it goes well.  

I have been doing the shortness of breath thing for a while.  I wish I would have kept a really good journal of foods, my cycle and feelings but I never thought that this would drag on so long.  I can't remember when it started but it stills scares the **** out of me when it starts.  I have to say that it is usually daily.  Just like I can't breath in deeply enough but there are days when I feel like I have the weight on that little area just below the sternum and that scares me pretty good.

When I first had the "heart scare" (AKA, panic attack) I went to the doc the next day.  He did a chest xray and then ordered a chest CT.  The chest CT showed a nodule on my lower left lung.  So they sent me to a pulmonologist.  He had me wait 6 months and then I did another one.  Same nodule, same place, same size.  He told me to repeat in 6 months.  I didn't go because I already had bills up the ying-yang from all my heart related junk.  When I went to the Mayo Clinic in February, the internal med doc thought that it was very important to have it checked out again.  If it was clear, then I should be done with it.  Well, the internal med doc called it clear but the report stated (and I can't find it now) something like 3-2mm nodules, a 3mm nodule and a noncalcified granuloma!!  YIKES!!  That scared me because all that stuff never showed on any of my other CT's.  He said it was because THEIR equipment is so precise and much more sensitive than a normal place.  I don't know about that but honestly, I am so focused on my heart right now that my lungs aren't getting a second thought.  It is when I am convinced that my heart is okay, I'll be freaking out about that!!

I know that the pulmonologist told me that alot of things can show up on xrays and CT's that are nothing.  Have you had a CT?  I"m sorry but I can't remember and my little guy is bugging me to play Candyland so I can't look through the posts right now.  I'll write more in a little while but I just wanted to let you know that all sorts of positive thoughts are coming your way and I'll be checking in to see how your visit went.

I'm off to play Candyland but I'll be back.............

[Raine9]

Well, your shortness of breath sounds like mine.  Other people on this forum mentioned that they have shortness of breath but I was wondering how long does it last.  

I had a chest CT last summer.  This will be the second pulm spec I am seeing since my shortness of breath started.  I saw this guy for a consult last summer.  He said what they saw in my lungs last summer was basically nothing.  But the pulm spec I saw in last month said that he wanted to make sure that what they saw last summer was not "chronic".  And that's what scares me.  I'm trying to remain positive.  I will let you know how it goes.

[tanns]

That darn shortness of breath is scary!!  I am having this horrible vibrating thing happen in my left chest at night, usually after 4am and that is taking my breath away too.  It seems like I can't breathe when it happens.  It is my new scare.  It is so real I can feel it when I put my hand on my left chest.  I think my pulse is regular but then I feel a pressure and I can't breathe.  I find it SO hard that anxiety can cause such physical symptoms.  Do you feel it differently from day to day?  Monday is so close now, I will be waiting to see how it goes.  

[tanns]

Are you in Charlotte yet?  Just checking in to see how the flight went.  I was thinking about you, I wasn't sure if you were flying yesterday or today but just wanted to see how you were doing.

Hope you had a good flight and have a relaxing time in Charlotte!!

tanns

[Raine9]

Somedays I feel pretty good.  Yesterday was a good day.  Wednesday and today not so good.  I feel good for about 2 seconds when I take a deep breath.  Sometimes it feels like someone has their hand over my nose and mouth, like their suffocating me.  It feels the worst in the morning.  Feels pretty good at night, after the kids have gone to sleep and I'm relaxing watching TV.  When I'm out to dinner on the weekends, it also feels pretty good.  When I took the Xanax the 3 times it felt good.  Sometimes I feel like I can't get a good breath.

Earlier in the month I had chest pressure.  I also felt like I had a weight on my chest.  It was horrible in the mornings.  I also got warm sensations.  But that problem went away.  In January and March, it was worse, I felt like I was gasping for air, I felt like I couldn't take a deep breath.  What I feel today is a big improvement.  So I don't know.   When I described it to my doctor, I told him that I always feel like I need to take a deep breath.  And he said that it sounded like anxiety.  He asked me do I feel like I need to take a deep breath or does it feel like I'm huffing and puffing, the way you feel after a good work out at the gym.

I guess I just have to undergo medical tests to confirm whether it is just anxiety.  I have to be able to accept if it isn't.  

You know what, at least our kids are healthy.  That's one thing we can be happy about. I was watching the news last night, they did a story on this couple in a city about an hour from where I live, who had two kids battling brain cancer.  A 4 year old and a 2-year old.  The 2 year-old got the cancer first and he was diagnosed when he was 10 months.  My son is 11 months, I can't even imagine, I don't wanna imagine.  I didn't even know it was possible for babies to get brain cancer.

So I guess we just need to accept whatever life throws at us and just be happy that it's us who are suffering and not are kids.  

[tanns]

That is very true.  My son actually had a CT on his ribs today because he has a bone growth that the xrays can't determine what it is exactly.  It was so scary watching him but I am holding on to the fact that the orthopaedic doc is pretty sure it is benign.  It is scary though.  I can't even imagine brain cancer.  

It is really hard when the symptoms change or aren't consistant.  I feel like I nut case when I start to describe my chest discomfort and all the ways it comes on.  It is so physical though, I'm just so frustrated with that.  Don't you wish there was a definitive test for anxiety?  Wouldn't it be nice if they could say, hey, your blood work showed anxiety.  Then I could drop all this heart craziness.

Right now my heart has been beating at 90 bpm for over 3 hours.  And it's beating hard, all day.  It will not slow down and I've tried relaxation and distraction.  It is crazy.  I'm getting ready to call ask-a-nurse because I'm afraid if I don't, I'll go into major panic and I'm close to that already.

Let me know how the appointment goes, is it in the morning?  

[Raine9]

One of Dr. Gould's good old generic comments in the Mental Health forum read this:

The problem with anxiety as a diagnosis is anxiety is called the great imitator...you can have almost any symptom of any disease, and it still ends up being anxiety. the best way to deal with this is to treat the anxiety with therapy or medication or both and see what happens. If there is underlying disease it will stand out, but if your doctor's can't find anything, that is still the best way to go.  

That's something to think about...

I am sorry to hear about your son.  You didn't mention anything about it.  I'm sure he'll be okay.  I know it's no comparison but my son has a very bad ear infection. This is his fourth this year!  His eardrum ruptured on Monday. I had to take him back to the doc yesterday cuz he wasn't responding to the antibiotics they gave him on Monday.  The doc prescribed another one.  Hopefully, this one will work.

My appointment is at 3:15 on Monday.  Until then I gotta control myself and not read about rare lung diseases on the internet.  

Have a good weekend.

[Raine9]

Just wanted to add but forgot cuz my kids were tugging at me.  I always hear that with anxiety if you keep focusing on the problem it doesn't go away and gets worse.  You become hyper aware of it.  So if you keep focusing on your heart beating, it's gonna make you panic.  I know it's hard not to focus on it. I am always aware of my breathing.

Hang in there.

[tanns]

I read that line too!  I thought it was great.  I was liked the response he gave my question about how the pains start to represent anxiety.  Like a memory.  

My son is doing fine.  I've really tried to not be so freaked out because the orthopaedic doc seems to think there is nothing to worry about but it just has to be verified with the CT.  I did post a question about him on the undiagnosed symptoms forum because he seems to have fevers WAY too much.  In fact, he has one now (only 101.9 and that is LOW considering they always go to 103.5 or so).  Also he sweats excessively, oh my gosh it is amazing how much that kid sweats at night.  And..he has a rash on his bottom and back of his knees.  He had the million dollar blood workup, all tests are normal.  

But the ear infection........YIKES!!  I hope he is okay!  I am the one in our family with recurring ear infections and they hurt beyond belief.  I've been really lucky my kids haven't had one because I know the pain would be unreal.  Is the new antibiotic working better today?

I try so hard not to focus on my heart.  It is sooo difficult.  It never did go below 90bpm.  Not last night or at all today.  I haven't taken my pulse in a while because I am trying not to and it is sooo, sooo hard.  I am trying to ignore it and maybe it will fix itself.  My dad took us to Animal Kingdom today and I checked it a million times.  Always over 90, a few times over 100.  I came home (LATE) and was just laying next to my son (the fevered one!) and the left side of my chest, neck and arm started vibrating.  Seriously shaking.  I thought for sure it was some form of fibrillation (darn computer resourses!!)  Anyway, I think my pulse was normal but my neck was shaking to much and I couldn't find it right away.  I can't believe all this is happening.  It is driving me crazy.  I printed out Gould's response to me and try to read it when I get like this but I know I need to find a therapist....quick.  I've called and called but can't get a reference.  I'm scared to just go try one because we have to foot the bill ourselves and I want it to work the first time.  HA!  One can dream!

I hope your weekend is going better and by the way, the list of symptoms from anxietycentre that you posted really helped a lot.  I need to glue them to my forehead and get on with it!!!

Hope your son's ear infection goes away FAST!!!

[Raine9]

I felt okay in the morning. But my breathing is bothering me.  I went to lunch with my family.  The breathing usually feels better during these times but not today.  I guess it's my appointment tomorrow.  Sometimes I feel like I can handle what the doctor will say and whatever the tests show.  Other times I feel like I am gonna fall apart.  I hate these horrible thoughts going through my mind.  

My son seems okay but I need to take him back to the doc on Thursday to have his ears rechecked.  It's so hard to take care of my kids when I am so preoccupied with my health.

Have you ever thought of the possibility that your son's condition maybe causing you anxiety, definitely stress.  What you are going through with him is tough for any parent.  I know that you are looking for a therapist.  I think you need to really explore this with the therapist.

I will pray for your son tonight.

Trying best to hang in there.  Putting my faith in God...  

Good night.

[tanns]

Is your breathing labored at all?  Or is it just more like a difficulty trying to take a breath.  I will be thinking of you today.  If you get a moment after your visit, post and let me know how it went.  I will be sending good thoughts your way.  What kind of tests do you think they will do today?

I have a hard time with my kids too.  Yesterday was really bad, not bad like last Wednesday, but bad and I just tried so hard not to cry.  Playing games with them helps a little but it is hard and mentally exhausting because my head is somewhere else.

It's funny about my stress level.  This all happened at a time that was really good here.  When my kids go nuts and start bickering, it does nothing to me.  I don't get all anxious or stressed or have any weird pains.  I handle that okay.  It is weird how PHYSICAL these symptoms are.  I think mentally I'm losing it but it just seems so regular that the pains come before the anxiety feelings.   My husband thinks I'm fighting the anxiety diagnosis, that I won't get better until I stop fighting it.  I agree with him about it and when I finally think ok, this is anxiety, something weird happens that feels like an arryhthmia or a different pain will set my head spinning.  

Good luck today.  You'll be in my thoughts.

And thanks again so much for chatting with me, it's been such a help to "talk" to someone when things get crazy.

[tanns]

Hi there!

Just checking in with you to see how things went.  

Hope you got some answers to ease your mind.


tanns

[Raine9]

Well the appointment went well so far.  He did  a chest x-ray and that turned out fine.  It looked exactly like last summer.  

I need to go back for pulmonary function tests, not sure when.  They need to test me for asthma and I don't know what else.  Just glad they didn't see anything weird on the x-ray.  That was my biggest fear.  I feel relieved for now. He also reassured me that what they saw in my lungs last summer is not something that will affect me for the rest of my life.  But it will always show up in x-rays.  

On another note, did you see the post by "genji" to my post on "List of Anxiety Symptoms"  He sites theories that anxiety might be neurological imbalances or environmental. I wanted to point this out to you because you said that when all this started, everything was fine with your home life. I also wanted you to read one of good old Dr. Gould's responses:

"Anxiety often is unrelated to specific events, but is usually caused by harboring some unfinished business with yourself that sometimes comes too close to the surface, and instead of dealing with it directly, you feel afraid of something, which is really dealing with whatever it is..."

In any event, only a doctor can give you a definitive diagnosis. Like me and my breathing, hopefully, my pulm. spc.  will give me a diagnosis and I hope it's a good one.  I know you've been to a lot of doctors already.  You've seen cardiologists and a pulmonary spec.  What about a good internist that can look at all your symptoms and look at the big picture from another angle.  Maybe point you in another direction.  that's if your insurance will cover it.  Just a thought...  

I never mentioned it but my older sister had the same problem for years.  She also felt like there was something wrong with her heart but the docs could never find anything wrong with her.  My family thinks it's all in her head but she feels like there is something really wrong with her.

Have you received the results for your son's CT?

By the way, you don't have to thank me for chatting with you, it helps me too!

Have a good night.

[tanns]

YEA!! I am so glad to hear it.  I didn't stay on the computer too long last night so this morning I wanted to check first thing.  I have to run to get my kiddos and then I have, um..a cardiology appt.  I haven't told ANYBODY!!  Not my husband, parents or any friends.  They all would think I'm more nuts than I am.  I can't get this vibrationing thing to stop.  It FEELS like my heart and I am hoping since it is happening really regularly right now, a holter can catch it.  

I can't write much now, I just wanted to let you know I was so, so happy that your xray was good news and you were doing good.

Talk with you soon!

[Raine9]

hope your appoinment goes well.  when you get a chance, read the post "interesting diagnosis" from cal7902 from yesterday if you haven't already.  relates to the heart.

[tanns]

Again, I just want to say that I am so happy for your that the initial part of your visit went well for you.  Do you feel like your breathing is obstructed?  I mean is your "outflow" short?  My husband and son just had one of those done at the allergy doctor.  Oh yeah, another doc for my son!!  Except, we have known his allergies are bad and decided to have him tested.  Highly allergic to tree pollen, oak, pine, cedar and cyprus!!  All the lovely trees we have here in Florida!  I guess it is time to head back to Washington!

I didn't see the response to your post about anxiety symptoms but I'll look at it when I'm done here.  I really like that quote from Dr. Gould.  Wow, that is deep!  (haha)  No, but really, that kind of is a reality check, I don't THINK anything is wrong but just maybe.....
I guess talking with someone can help me figure something out.

I ended up cancelling my cardio appt.  Although I feel something is wrong, I didn't want to take my kids and my mom had an appt already.  I do not want them to hear me talking to the doctor.  They are like little sponges and I don't want too much of this anxiety stuff absorbed by them.  And speaking of doctors, I haven't heard about the CT yet.  They were suppose to call yesterday or today and I haven't heard anything.  I actually just called them before I sat down here to respond and the doc was still seeing patients.  They said she would call me at the end of the day!!  

I saw an internal med doc at the Mayo Clinic and he was really, really good.  My initial visit with him was TWO HOURS long!  He was so good and so thorough.  The problem is that when I decided to go to the Mayo Clinic I was so tired of being told "anxiety" was my diagnosis.  I didn't (and obviously still don't) believe it 100%.  SO....when I went I went in like "hey y'all, I'm just a normal gal with some chest pain.  I'm calm and cool and totally collected, la la la."  Seriously, I didn't want to be labeled "anxiety" when I walked through the door so stupid me, I kept A LOT from him.  He did lots of tests, sent me to four other specialists but I never mentioned panic or anxiety and I guess I was a good pretender because neither did he.  Hindsight is 20/20.  At that point (before March 1) my insurance was paying 100% because i had already put out the 3000 max for that year (runs Mar 1 to Mar 1).  I started my care there the second week of February, so by the time I saw all the docs and had all the tests, the month was coming to an end.  When it was apparent I had no MAJOR physical problems I started to let a little of the anxiety out but he just thought it was a little stress, gave me a book on stresses and relaxation techniques and that was that.  I remember he left the room to get those booklets and my dad was there and I started to lose it, when the doc came back in he didn't know what to think.  Anyway, he scheduled an appointment with the psych there for the middle of May.  I recently cancelled it because of money.  My visit with the internal med doc was over 600 for the FIRST visit (the two hour one).  But I didn't have to pay for it so I just saw whoever and had whatever test done.  I can't do 600 right now.  I'm working on my past 18 months of bills and now my husband and son's deductibles.  I need to not go that route right now.  Plus, it's about 2 hours away and I need to find something closer and CHEAPER!!!  I am going to try a new internal med doc here.  I have some questions that I never addressed with the Mayo guy because I was the "calm one" there.  My son's teacher sees a really good one so I am going to see if I can get in there.

How is your sister?  Has she gotten better?  Does it get better because quite honestly, I feel like I've had a major setback and that I'm doing worse than I was 6-8 months ago.  It is frightened because (stupid me) I just saw an article that women can have symptoms of heart attack or issues for 1 week to 6 months before something happens!!  YIKES!!!  I don't know why I even read that junk.  I know better.

That post from cal7902 was VERY, very interesting.  I think I might print that up and take it with me to the internal med doc when I get an appointment.

Okay, my kids are begging me to do legos so I better go!!

Hope you are doing well today.  Just a question, how is the air quality where you are?  I know here in Orlando, it's not great and my mom thinks my breathing issues are related to that.  I, of course, don't!!

[Raine9]

It just feels like I can't get a good breath and my chest feels a little tight today. I live in smoggy Los Angeles.  That's why I am so paranoid about lung diseases.  Plus my father was a smoker.  I was exposed to second hand as a child.  Puts me at a higher risk for lung cancer and other lung diseases than people not exposed.  The doc did ask me about allergies.  But I don't think I have any.  It would be great if that's all it was. I forget that you have breathing issues.  It doesn't seem like they're much of a problem, you don't say much about them. I just wish mine would go away. Even with the chest x-ray behind me, I am still worried.  It's incredible how negatively my mind works.  I know I said that I am not much for meds but if the psychiatrist that I am supposed to see (been waiting for an appointment) can give me a good one that will take away this depression and anxiety, I think I am gonna try it.  I can't stand feeling this way anymore.    

My sister is okay.  She still feels like there's something wrong with her.  She says that she can't walk as long as she used to.  It's been so many years that she has had this problem.  I remember driving with her when I was little and all of the sudden she just panicked and thought there was something wrong with her heart.  That was more than 20 years ago.  She is much older than I am.  I come from a big family and I am the youngest. I'm starting to wonder if my sister might have anxiety or that condition posted by cal7902.  Mental diseases are not talked about much in my family.  I just hope it's not inherited.  My daughter imitates me a lot and she has my blood type.  I fear sometimes that she might inherit my depression and anxiety.  

It's tough that your insurance does not cover everything.  You really need some help like a lot of people on this forum.  I wish you could get it w/o having to break the bank.  Well let me know if and when you find a therapist.  Hang in there, I know it's tough.

[Raine9]

Want a laugh?  Get your mind off things for a bit?

Go to the Nutrition Forum.  I posted a question a couple of weeks back asking about natural alternatives for anxiety and depression and these two people "barn babe" and "live4fitness" start bickering.  It cracked me up.  

Just the other day "barn babe'" posted something about saturated fat and they go at it again.  

Just something fun to get our minds off our health.

[tanns]

Oh wow, LA.  I guess you are fighting the smokiness like we are here!!  We've got a few fires burning here and today was pretty bad, my car had ash on it when I went to tak the kids to school.  It makes my throat burn.  I guess I don't mention the breathing thing because it doesn't seem to scare me as a "lung" problem.  I feel it is related to my "heart" problem.  So when I get it, I think 'oh my gosh, my heart" not anything about my lungs.  It is crazy, I know.  My mom was a smoker too.  She smoked until I was 14 and stopped when she had a breast cancer scare.   I thought about that when they found the nodules on my lungs.  I guess that will be my new worry when (and if) my heart phobia ever subsides.

About allergies, my husband has them BAD!!  I mean, when they hit him, he is down.  He can't stand without sneezing 10-15 times in a row, his nose runs nonstop and his head just pounds.  When they went for allergy testing last week he had the first initial skin scratches done.  Sixty of them and NOTHING reacted!!  We were stunned.  They are going to do more tests next week but she said that it is possible, nonallergic rhinitis.  That means he's allergic to temp changes or humidity changes or barometric changes.  We'd never heard of that before.  Just a thought, maybe it isn't something seasonal.  There are other kinds like dustmites, dust, dander and that fun stuff too.

I have the same idea about medicine now.   I just want to get better and am willing at this point to try ANYTHING!  I am going to ask about Klonopin too.  I still haven't found a doc, though.  I don't want to go to one without a recommendation but it looks like I will have to because I can't wait much longer.

I worry about my oldest son having anxiety issues too.  I have really tried to shield him from what I have been going through but he's no dummy.  I mean, he's seen the holter, the event monitor and numerous EKG's.  I tell them it is fine all normal tests as you get older but he's heard me talk, as much as I want to think I've been good about it.  He gets upset stomach.  Like a loud noise will give him an upset stomach, or if he's startled he'll say his stomach hurts.  When we went to Animal Kingdom last weekend he said that the water ride made his stomach hurt (because he was scared).  I have read posts from people that say that they have had anxiety for a long time, even into ages as young as five.  I don't want that to be my son.  I've only dealt with them for 18 months but it's been a long, hard 18 months.

I'm heading to the nutrition forum real quick to check out the post, I COULD use a good laugh!!

Oh, one more thing, my son's doctor called and that want to do an MRI.  She doesn't think it is mandatory but she doesn't think it's unreasonable either.  I don't know about that.  I think I'm going to take his films somewhere else before I subject him to a MRI.

Have a great night!!

[Raine9]

I actually live south of all that smoke, thank goodness!  I used to live in that area, my sister lives there and so does my husband's relatives.  I did not mean to worry you about your lungs, please don't!  I do enough worrying for the both of us.

My husband has bad allergies too.  He just got over a bad episode of sinusitis or something but his head hurt for almost a month.  The doc put him on anti-biotics and advil.  he's feeling better.  

I fianlly got an appointment to see the psych on Monday and they scheduled me for my breathing tests next wednesday.  I'm trying not to think about it too much.  My son's 1st birthday is this weekend and it's also Mother's Day.  Happy Mother's day!  Do you guys have anything planned?  .

Well I hope today is good for u, the breathing is not bothering me as much as yesterday.  Funny how it bothers me one day and feels better the next.  I'm gonna start doing my yoga moves again, hopefully it will help to relax me.

I set up an email account at yahoo with phony info.  "***@****"  You can email there if you want and I will direct you to my real email account.  I don't really like chatting too much on this forum as it is public.

Have a good day.

[Raine9]

One more thing.  I write these posts when my son's asleep and I'm always rushing before he wakes up.

So your son's CT came back good, I'm assuming.  That's wonderful!  Did the doc say why she wants an MRI?

Yeah an MRI could be scary for a kid. I had two.  It's clausterphobic.  Maybe he can get an "open MRI "  I've heard of them but don't know if it would work for your son. I think they will let you be in there with him.  No radiation involved but you can't wear metallics.

[tanns]

Hey, I emailed the address.  It should come from a tanns address!!

Let me know if you don't get it.