almost constant panic and anxiety is back. i need help and support

[erin626]

So I was doing ok for awhile. I was having a few off days here and there with my anxiety but I was having more good days and less bad days. But recently it seems like all of my days are bad. I've been taking my xanax almost daily now and am having terrible symptoms of anxiety. I've been feeling light headed, dizzy, nauseous, shakey, hot, sweaty etc etc. I was so scared at work last night that I was going to pass out that I almost asked the manager if I could leave and go to the hospital but I took a xanax and the feelings calmed down and I was feeling pretty ok by the end of work. I've been having some allergy issues that I feel have been contributing to my anxiety but I know that's not everything.

I saw my therapist today and told her my anxiety was coming back really bad and how I've been having more days where I need xanax than those days where I don't need it. She told me to keep taking the xanax while we got to the bottom of this recent increase of anxiety. She doesn't want to switch me to klonopin and we both agree that ssris are not for me after several failed attempts. So now I worry about another possible xanax addiction. She reassured me that I'm taking a very small dose and if a slight addiction were to occur she could easily taper me down.

I'm just so frustrated right now. I've never been scared to drive but a few weeks ago I got the worst panic attack while driving and ever since then my panic attacks generally begin while driving and then my anxiety spirals out of control from there. I've been under a lot of stress lately. I just moved into a new apartment 2 weeks ago and am starting a new job. Plus I'm stretched pretty thin financially. I guess I have no real question. I just need some reassurance that I'll make it through this episode. I hate feeling sick everyday and I don't want to keep taking a xanax everyday just to feel better. I was going to rush to the doc about my symptoms until I realized that they go away as soon as the xanax kicks in. And I'm sticking with xanax. I don't want to try klonopin or anything else. I know I do well with xanax and I really only take it when I go through extreme anxiety episodes like this so I'm not even thinking about switching my med. It works and helps me in my daily life when I need it. I only take .25mg so my dose isn't incredibly high and I haven't developed a tolerance to the dose.

This whole post seems so scatterbrained but that's how I've been feeling lately anyways. :(

I just want this to stop and go away so I can enjoy my life again.

[erin626]

My therapist gave me a copy of the book the anti-anxiety workbook. So far I can't put it down. Its very informative and its helped me understand why I get the symptoms that I get during panic attacks. I think this book is going to help me out tremendously. I see her again next week on thursday. I hope that by thursday I can tell her that I'm doing better. So far today I've felt the anxiety try to creep in, especially now that I'm at work but I've been confronting it and letting it do its thing. I keep reminding myself that there is nothing wrong. Its just my anxiety. I just get so scared of the symptoms and of course that fuels the anxiety.

When I finish this book ill check out those ones. Luckily the anxiety hasn't completely incapacitated me like it did last year. It has tried but I'm not letting it control me this time.

[DJ873]

can i again suggest reading some Jon Kabitt Zinn and Eckhart Tolle. I really really really like that I am learning to ground myself. Haven't been on here in awhile, doing so much better, not all the way mind you, but finding more and more moments where I am not thinking about anxiety and symptoms. I watched eat pray love and again reminded myself that calming the mind is a great gift to give ourselves.

[erin626]

Thanks so much. I've been here before and the anxiety is bad but last year was still worse so I came through that successfully then I can do it again. My doc suggested I take the .25 3 times a day if I need to. So far I haven't needed it that much. And I was scared of the addiction but she's right..on this low dose the taper will be easy and not painless but now awful. I made it through the taper of 1.5mg a day. It was no fun at all but I survived.

Right now I'm feeling very anxious and I'm trying very hard to keep everything in perspective and there's nothing wrong with me but unfortunately my anxiety keeps telling me that there is. But everytime I feel this way the xanax takes the horrible feelings away so I can't be dying from some weird disease.

Thanks again for the words of encouragement. I know we're all fighting the same battle and that helps me. Sometimes I feel very alone with my anxiety problems.

[cnote]

Hang in there Erin. Things WILL get better!!! I had a wonderful week last week, but for some reason the past 3 nights I've been having night time anxiety. Heart palps, spacy feeling, also pacy, feels like my breathing is shallow, so im really focused on my breathing, and my neck has been stiff as a rock.

I'm not giving up! I'm taking .5mg of klonopin before bed. Helps a lot. I've been on it for about 2 weeks now.

I've been on it before in the past for like a month or more, and weaned off fine. When my anxiety left, and I weaned off the klonopin, the only thing was i found it a little harder to sleep at night, but i accepted it, and eventually i was back to sleeping normal.

Most people like us are TOO SCARED to get addicted to these drugs.

It's the people who want to take drugs just to take drugs Doctors worry about... we actually need this stuff, and when we are ready to be done, we'll wean off slowly and successfully. =)

I used to worry about getting addicted and withdrawals etc. but it's all gravy baby. ive done it several times.

Hang in there. Take the xanax like your Dr. said, that's what its for. =)

[Persephone3576]

I just wanted to say hello and send some support. It does sound like you're under a lot of serious stress. Moving and starting a new job are two of the most stressful events you can experience! Of course you're feeling anxious.

Those of us who suffer from anxiety need to take care of ourselves very well when we're going through hard times. Try to get some extra sleep, eat well, ask people for help. Get some exercise, take time to go for walks. They sound like simple things, but the little things can help keep the panic at bay.

Best wishes, and keep updating to let us know how you're doing.