am i going crazy???

[motosega]

Dear doctors,
I think I have a huge problem...I think I'm going crazy. Let me explain the situation: I have always had problems with relationships but finally I met someone I like 6 months ago and we started dating. This is my first important relationship in my life. Soon after our relationship started, I got very anxious up until the point when the anxiety became utter panic and fear, and now I think I'm going psychotic. I felt there was something strange when, after having an anxiety attack, I didn't go back to normal but felt extremely confused. I had some abstract images in my head but they were extremely vivid, and caused a lot of anguish and distress in me. My health is constantly deteriorating and I'm not able to function well, even my college work has worsened. Sometimes I feel very strange, other times incredibly depressed and my surroundings start to have a sort of nightmerish glow, therefore I get very scared of being on my own. The fear of going crazy has always been my biggest source of anxiety, and now i feel it's gone over the edge and I'm really going crazy. My psychotherapist says this is happening because of a major change in my life, I've seen a psychiatrist once and he said that i have OCD, but I'm not going crazy, however, I've had some strange things happening to me. First of all, I have to say that I've read a lot of stuff on the internet related to psychosis and I read about this woman who thought her husband was the devil. A week ago I was in my University's toilet feeling extremely miserable (I think I had a panic attack because my heart was racing and my palms were sweating because I feared i was going to lose touch with reality) when I met this friend of mine. The day after I read about this woman and the devil and thought "What if I start thinking she is the devil" and immediately became scared of her. I had this weird feeling, a deep fear, the kind of fear that you experience in dreams almost, I don't know how else to explain it. Now, I know she's not the devil, but this horrible feeling of terror I experienced was so distressing that made me so depressed for the rest of the day. A few days later I experienced the same feeling whilst looking at a picture of a comedian and Michael Jackson, while I also had some kind of fear when I saw a life size doll. Also, I have almost an impulse to drive myself crazy, I mean I almost push myself to that point where I feel like I'm crazy. I'll give you a couple of examples: I know people who suffer from psychosis hear messages from the telly or from what they read. This is something that I find extremely scary, so when I watch the telly sometimes I kinda make it happen. It doesn't happen naturally, it's me who sits down and thinks:"OK, now you're going to feel like they're talking about you and you're going to hear messages" and although I don't hear messages, I feel something weird for a second, almost like they could be talking about me, but then I withdraw and I realise all along the absurdity of this and feel extremely depressed, confused and lost. I hope you can give me some help on this because I can't handle it anymore!!! Thank you!

[motosega]

thank you for your help fefe, it's always nice to hear you're not alone struggling with things like this. After sepnding a week in my house having the most awful feelings you can think of and staring into nothingness i've been put on anti-depressants...but i don't like how they make me feel...i don't feel like myself....

[tallgyrl]

Hi there, You have anxiety. Nothing more. I also have it, and it's been pretty bad for the past two months. Before that - nothing since college (I am 29 now). First of all, you're not going crazy. I think this about myself, too - and it kinda helps that I have read this. Anxiety is fear, and our worst fears come to pass when we suffer from anxiety. Certainly my worst fear is losing my mind. I have lots of pressures on myself (internally and externally), which scares the **** out of me thinking that I may not be able to do those things (have kids, healthy relationship, etc.) But we're not going crazy. There are certain coping mechanisms that I find helpful. First is diaphramic breathing. Place your hand on your stomach (right below your lungs). Take a slow, deep inhale, filling up your diaphram with air - then your upper chest. Hold it for a second, then slowly exhale. You should feel a bit more relaxed. Try this a few times, or whenever your feeling bad. You can do it anywhere - the car, grocery store, couch - you get the idea. Also, there is something called 'thought stopping'. When you sense that you're going to get yourself into a tizzy or anxiety attack from overthinking. Stop your thoughts. Literally stop (think about a stop sign). Then, calm yourself down. Next, imagine yourself in a place that relaxes you. I like to think about a beach with warm breeze and blue calm water. I hope this helps you guys. I would love to chat more if anyone has any comments. And remember, this feeling of going crazy is a valid symptom of anxiety, so try not to worry so much about it.  

[seatap]

also I would try and limit your caffeine intake as well from now on...sometimes that feeds into the anxiety :)

[seatap]

I would say its the coffee's fault.  You need to get some food in your systom and I would say some sugar too.  I get that jittery nervous feeling along with my anxiety in the morning sometimes when I havent eaten anything.  Your probally working yourself up and thats why you are throwing up. I know it maybe hard to eat but try with something simple like bread and just calm down take some deep breathes and know you are not alone!! and you are going to be ok!
hope this helps!

[fefe03]

I am 22 years old... october 24 of this year i had my fist anxiety attack... i believe it was brought on  by a perscription for zofran (to help with neasua) i had really bad anxiet for a whole week. I went to the ER and they put me on Ativan.. the ativan seemed to help but made me feel real groggy so i tried to fight the anxiety on my own.. well all whole month has passed as it is now november 25th.. friday i was at woek and drank a whold 16 oz of coffee and when i got home started to experiance some anxiety symptoms.. after a while of trying to calm myself sown, i started to feel even worse.. i have been like this for 3 days now.. i have a racing hear.. i am jittery and really sleepy... i have hot flashes and cant get my self to eat let alone even get a sip off water with out vommiting.. i am so scared and dont know what to do.. to make matters worse I dont have any soet of heath insurance so i cant see a doctor or anything.. does anyone have any siggestions?

[motosega]

thank you lemongrasshopper!

[lemongrasshopper]

Hi,
I am not a psychologist.. just had psychology as my minor at the Uni, for 2 years.

Those fears of going crazy that your are describing, as well as your identifiying with the crazy people may be cause by some things in your childhood... i think you need a thorough psychoanalysis.. i know it is expensive, but it may be very helpful

Your pushing yourself to the limit and making yourself crazy may be someone in your past or childhood who was driving you crazy with their behavior ( your parents, siblings, friends or partners).. now that they are no longer in your life, you continuing the pattern yourself as you think that is how it should be.. you were "taught" that is how it should

CEASE identifying yourself with crazy people !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  you are NOT crazy...... crazy people cannot think straight or hardly can think about their craziness, let alone describing it the way you described yours

the feeling of irrational discomfort and fear you are having may be caused with varied impulses: sexual, existential or emotional......... loaded anger can turn into fear... who did smth nasty to u in ru past u felt extremely angry about, but never expressed?

keep up with auto-analysis, yes WITHOUT identifying yourself with crazy people. analyzing yourself is a natural need of every human, not a confirmation or a label that u are crazy.

good luck..