anoxiety

hi . this is my first time on this forum.
dont know when to start 2 b honest... i went through the trauma 3 years ago.
when i was 8 month pregnant i went to the hospital 4 check up. doctor couldnt find the heart beat of my baby and than they give me scan straight away,,i was so nervous ..they did the scan and they told me that d baby is dead.
i had to deliver it naturally because there could of b some health risks if i went for c-section.
to b honest i didnt realise what was happenin. it was like a shock dat i didnt know how to react to it.
no support of my boyfriend (broke up with him cos he didnt offered me any support during the pregnancy and his first thing dat came out of his mouth when i told him that i am expecting is: u need to get rid of it- i told him NO..)
when i had d baby i could not look at him cos i was so damn scared. all the thoughts going through my head dat i didnt understand.nurses were very helpfull. i could go up to c my baby any time but i was affright.
affright of what will he look like,will i b able to let him go again when i will hold him,etc...untill now i have all them feelings that i dont understand..
went councelling... i am on lexapro..i did not want to take it 4 first year cos i thought i will b able to manage my self..
at night i could not sleep cos when i did i was wakin up after 5 mins because i could not breathe..it was really scary..
weird feeling in my head-head spinning,dizziness...
last year i went for mri scan because of my headaches. came back normal..
i have them fears that i dont know how to explain it... its like i am scared, i feel like i am going to fall,getting numbnes when i go shopping and i have to get out to my car or something.
i am really sick of feeling like this..some days i feel fine and than everythin starts over again..
i am tired... i just want to b normal again...
i have put on the weight,,,from 7.5 stone i went up to 9 stone...
its just so stuppid because before i have got into my head that if i will eat healthy and a lot so my body wont b missin anythin i will get back to normal..how desperate and stupid i was..still am..i have tried everythin
i think dat my nerves have clapsed and they wont ever go back to normal..
i didnt go 4 walk because i wouldnt go on my own..
oh ya..another thing dat has happened when i was pregnant was: i got layed off from work when i was 6 months...
after i came out of the hospital i didnt want to stay at home so i started workin month after all this happened..
but i am still scared..not as much as before..but i just want to go back to my self...
can you help??????

[potato4201]

wow ,thats a lot to bare for anyone,and i feel sorry for you.but you have give a better description of how you feel to see if its anxiety or what.anxiety comes and gos as it pleases my symptoms are/were shortness of breathe(like someones inside you pinching off your airway,or like someones sitting on your chest.i wake up short of breathe also sometimes.i used to not be able to sleep and wake up every couple hours scared for no reason.chest pain in the middle of your chest,heart palps(usually when your having an attack),very vivid or strange dreams(i can remember every detail),it feels like when someone jumps out and scares you,and you get that feeling in your chest,but it`s constant.once i have accepted that i had anxiety(and i wasnt dieing) most of those symptoms faded quick.but still creep up now and then.what you need to do is see a doc for it.lexapro is an SSRI(antidepressant) but you may need (if you have it ) a benzo(anti-anxiety pill)to get rid of your pain,breathing issues ect..cause all the happy pills in the world arent gonna take those symtoms (symptoms) away.only a benzo will.im not a doc by no means so i suggest you see one to clear the air.the brain is smarter than you,take care of yourself

cheers

[Dee174]

Hello and welcome hope. First of all, the story of your child is very touching, but to me it says that you are a very caring and loving individual as well as a good mother. Congrats by the way. I think that you suffer from what so many of us here suffer. Just browse some of the posts  and see that everyone has had an "event" that started all of this anguish. Me personally was I had a really bad back problem after doing some hard work after Hurrican Ike passed on by. I didn't go to the Doc and then the numbness, breathing problems, and palpitations started. Even after I wen't to the Doc I had this feeling of non ending fear and like I was litterally dying or going to die. I couldn't shake it. I have been getting WAY better lately though. The things that helped me the most was
1. Reading the Bible and praying.
2. Finding more and more about anxiety. When you see the symptoms and understand this condition more you'll start to notice that this is something that unfortunatelly happened to you but it's not life threatening. Even though it sure feels like it.
3.Posting on this forum helps you feel and know that you're not alone and that many of this strange feelings are actually quite common with others who suffer from anxiety.
4.Try not to look up health conditions/diseases. (It just makes you worry even more and start thinking you have some rare fatal disease).
5.Try to slowly confront your anxiety. Trust your Doc and always tell yourself that your body is healthy and fine. Try to get "used" to the sensations and remember they can't harm you. You're still alive even though you get the Horrible feelings and you'll live when the next wave comes.
6.Last but certainly not least is try to talk with someone you trust, be a friend or family member. You'll see that this helps alot.
I hope some of this helps you even if it's just a little. Just remember that you are not alone and that with time it can and does get better. Stay strong and take care.

[hope997]

Thank you for the warm welcome!!!
At the start i want to describe my anoxiety.
when it started i could not breathe when i was trying to sleep, was crying for no reason, i was in and out of my doctor because i felt like somethin was about to happen to me...
now i know so much about anoxiety i could b a doctor....
reading about it has helped me a lot and helped me to realise that there is nothin happening to me...
i am still not right..i still get scared but i know that this is only in my head..
i have tried to talk to ppl before but they just didnt know what to say..
when all this happened i have moved in to my sisters but i could not stay there 4 too long.( 2 month)...
was told by her husband dat i should move out because he can see that i am feelin better...i got the job after 1 month after coming out of the hospital and i thought i will b able to take care of my self again.
thats why for the first year i was hiding all my feelings because there was no 1 to talk to...
i think if i went counceling staraight away and got help from close to me ppl i would be stronger than and now..
i will ask my doctor about Benzo..didnt hear about it before..
ahhh good old happy pills..what would we do with out them...:)
Ppl this is the best forum i have ever seen..thank you for your help!!!!