are all OCD intrusive thoughts irrational?

[intruder22]

Hello there. Firstly, I would like to thank the creator of this forum and its supports and sufferers. I do not know what I would have done without this forum. My OCD began when I was around 14. It centered around pulling my hair out, and constantly washing my hands, making sure doors are locked, lights are turned off and so forth. However, in the past 4 years my OCD is more related to the obsessions. I have deeply disturbing intrusive thoughts towards my mother. The worst part is  they are sexual in nature. For some reason, I needed to know the sexual info on my mom. For example, whether or not she was a virgin before marriage, whether or not she masturbated, whether she was ever raped or molested, and whether she had an affair.  I love my mother deeply and feel like somehow my thoughts are telling to think  her as someone that has many secrets. It pains me to have to confront her about my intrusive thoughts, and get an answer, sometimes asking multiple times is the only way to get certainty of the answer. It is the only I know how to get rid of these thoughts. My mother does not like answering my questions and gives me a hard time about it, this makes my intrusive thought a whole lot worse and makes me question her even more. Sometimes, I dought whether I really have OCD or whether my mind is unconsciously telling that my mother isn't who I think she is.  I do know what to do. I feel like a really bad person for having these thoughts but I can not help it.
Recently, my brother jokingly  mentioned being molested when he was younger, and my mind immediately jumped to whether or not my mother molested me when I was younger. I had a circumcision when I was around 6 or 7 years old, and I remember my mother treating the wounds afterwords for a couple of months. I did not think anything  of it before but my brother's stupid comment triggered this intrusive thought and the thought that my could have really molested during that period. What if this time it isn't an irrational thought but it actually did happen? How can one say these obsessions are irrational when you question their truth?  Any thoughts on my thread would be very helpful. Thanks again.

[intruder22]

Thank you all for your comments. They are much appreciated

[JGF25]

In my opinion you are a walking textbook case of OCD.  You have the checking, you have the compulsive handwashing, you have the disturbing intrusive thoughts that don't go away until you get an answer and when you do something else takes its place.  When people say things to you, you "what-if" them until they too become an intrusive disturbing thought.  

You need to see a therapist that specializes in OCD.  The OCD is what needs to be treated.  Once you do that, the anxiety and depression will go by the wayside.  The anxiety is not causing the OCD but rather the other way around.  

I know this because OCD is what I have.  I know all too well those irrational thoughts.  I know all too well that we NEED to get an answer so that it will go away.  I know all to well that once I get one thing settled, something else will take its place.  

Therapy is your best bet.  You need to learn CBT and you may also want to give some thought to medication.  You can talk to your doctor about this.  I actually practice CBT and I take an SNRI.  It has made a world of difference in my life.  This is no way to live and you can definitely get off the OCD rollercoaster if you are proactive and seek the help of a professional.  

[Paxiled]

Agree with the above completely -- your mom's business is her business, just as yours is yours.  But I think you're unclear about what OCD is.  OCD is the compulsive repetition of actions plus the thoughts that compel the action.  But everyone with depression or anxiety problems has obsessive thoughts, so it sounds like there's more going on that just OCD, which is common.  Which makes the above suggestion about therapy all the more important.

[mammo]

Hi there.  I don't feel asking your mother all these personal questions is good for either of you.  I think you need to get into therapy to determine why you have these thoughts and what to do about them.  Anxiety is often the result of a past traumatic event which we never truly dealt with or have even forgotten about.  Your thoughts may have some validity, and only therapy can determine this.  Your brother's joking may have been his attempt to reach out to you to know if anything happened to you and you may want to ask him why he made the comment...joking or not.  You may have hit on the root cause for your issues, but don't go pointing fingers just yet...get into therapy and talk with your brother.  Don't think of your brother's remark as stupid, it may be his way of reaching out for help.  Stop questioning your mom and find a good therapist.  I hope this helps and good luck to both you and your brother.