belief

[scaredjo]

how on earth can i make my head believe what the doctor tells me??? im still having chest pains and even though my tests were normal i still cant believe im healthy. i fight with my own head all the time trying to convince myself im ok but withe the symptoms still present how can i believe it
now my greatest fear is that i really do have something wrong with my heart and if i ignore the pains im doing myself damage i cant live in A and E or the doctors i need to live my life but i cant im so scared that the tests i had could av changed because it was a while ago im living a nightmare

[hopelessanxiety]

Well thank God I read this ! I go throught the same thing, I go to the doctors for body pains and such and I always think the worse possible thing is wrong with me,I seriously cry thinking something is wrong with me but yet when I go tot he doctors Im perfectly healthy,I ve been to the hospital for panic attacks and they've done a BP n me and im perfectly healthy.
BUT I freak myself out constantly,eveytime I get a pain near my chest or a headache I think soemthing is wrong with me,
I ALWAYS need someone to reassure me that Im perfectly fine and that its just my anxiety or stress pains.

I do also always think my pains have something to do with my heart too :(

Its sad :(

[scaredjo]

thanks for all your help and support i got my CBT again today so im gonna really tell her about my bad week

TC yeah i agree with all you said i know im gonna be the one to find her dead she is 85 now and not in the best of health which scares the hell out of me i have tried and tried to explain to my family i have talked, shouted, cried and screamed but it all falls on deaf ears so im gonna write a letter too see if that works if it doesn im gonna lie and tell them i have a full time job pathetic really but if it works.......i have my family and dog and home to take care of which is enough for me at the minute

[MMomma]

It takes time lots and lots of  time and patiatents (sp?) with yourself..I'm proof that u can win! that u can get better!  i'm  here to talk ...

[khbronn]

You are not being selfish!!! They are being selfish!!!  If you were a nurse and working maybe, but if you can't work at a job you enjoy how the heck can you do something that is forced upon you?  Try to give them a time limit, set limits or you're going to get worse...trust me.  When the family was taking care of my husband's Great Grandmother, I was expected to contribute 10 hours a week.  I was willing to give 2.  I gave in at first because I did love her and wanted to help.  But between being forced (and they always want more) and being petrified something would happen to her on my watch.  I ended up in the hospital.  Then I just said too bad, I'll visit and help on one day a week for 1-2 hours.  They were mad, they called me selfish, but I had my own family, my own issues without the added pressure.  It took a month for my mother-in-law to get it through her head that I meant what I said, and I finally wrote her a letter instead of arguing.  I knew if I gave in I'd be doing 20 hours.  I can't work anymore either, taking care of a loved one when they are ill, was way more stressful than the job I worked.

Be strong you owe it to yourself.  It isn't healthy to be around a person who is having health problems, when you have a tendency to worry excessively about your own.

tc

[scaredjo]

thanks and yes your right looking after my nan doesn help me one bit when i express my feelings to my family they tell me im selfish, i gave up my job due to anxiety 18 months ago i haven told anyone apart from my hubby because they will make me do more with her, im not being selfish but it does stress me out a lot but there is no escape 4 me

[khbronn]

Hi

I hate when people don't get it.  A lot of time people that are close to you, don't want you to talk about it because they are scared that something could be wrong with you ie..your hubby...your mom...people that ignore your concerns.  But sometimes they have to act like that so they can survive.  Your body is doing what it is doing because it thinks it needs to to help you survive.

You are NOT alone.  My brother has had over $10,000.00 worth of tests for his heart, brain, emergency room visits, etc.  Even though I have some of the same symptoms, heart palpatations, shortness of breath, weird visual disturbances, etc.  Even after every test possible, he still thinks that there is something wrong with his heart and is just going to new doctors.  I don't judge him I just talk with him and listen.  

Don't worry about letting your therapist down.  Just don't let yourself down, I think you need to stop letting your family force so much responsibility on you for looking after Nan.  That in itself is a lot, especially for someone who has anxiety.  I know it's hard to say no and I no you probably want to help, But your mind can't take it.....

Put limits on that.  I think most of us with anxiety have a lot of problems saying no or putting limits on what we can do for others.  I know I do.  I'll do anything to avoid conflict, conflict of any kind gives me heart palpatations, panic attacks, etc.  But remember doing things you truly don't want to do or feel forced to do will cause the same problems because your still in conflict.

I just started coming here, but I like this forum...We are here for you.  

I did bio-feedback therapy early in my therapy.  You should ask your therapist about that.  I brought a blood pressure cuff home and you can see how your mind affects your vitals.  My mother-in-law makes me extremely anxious and just by being on the phone with her, my pulse and bp would shoot up...when it came back down I would have symptoms.  When you are more in control of seeing how your body is working with your mind you will feel better.  

Well Wishes and TC

[scaredjo]

yeah i do agree with what you say and deep down i know it, its just believing it
as for my family no not really, my son is only 14 he knows i have problems but not in depth i think it fair to keep him out of it, my hubby um again no he just tells me to shut up cause i have had these problems so long i would be dead by now!!!! my parents um no again my dad is so laid back he would fall over if i blew on him, my mum doesn give a toss so long as i look after her mum take her shopping etc, my aunties again no cause they want me to look after my nan too cause they all simply cant be arsed (excuses my wording) so i dont get much support i do have friends but again they jus tell me i would be dead by now if i was seriously ill

so the only real support and understanding i get is from medhelp and im truly grateful for it

[JSGeare]

I promise I'm not playing games with you. The thought occurred to me -and I think you have validated it, that whether the feared condition is "real" or "imagined," the impact on you is remarkably the SAME.

And that should be a message in a bottle to you. Of course, it could turn out that something was missed on a test. It DOES happen. It is that suspicion which drives your anxiety. I ask you, however, to step back a moment and take a broad view. Pretending that you are completely calm, objective, and unconflicted for the moment, what would YOU say to someone presenting your story -given all the evidence we have so far. Put another way, forget what you and I think, what does the evidence indicate?

There is no problem with your reasoning and self awareness; you are intelligent and articulate. You will conclude, I think, that no matter what is REALLY going on, you are unquestionably, by the mechanism of anxiety, ADDING to it. Given that anxiety related issues are the prime movers here, the time in therapy make a great deal of sense. Your anxiety and perception of a cardiac problem -complete with aches and pains- is your brain's way of saying "Help me!"

If what I have written, and your response to it, make any sense to you, then it is a sign that you are beginning to change, beginning to set yourself for action. You no doubt will benefit from a lot of hand-holding and assurance along the way. That's why WE are here and the fact that you are with us strongly suggests you realize this.

Get with that therapist. If possible find a local self-help support group of people who also share your condition. The important thing is to act, change the conditions under which your symptoms and psychology operate, and notice how the changes you make DO make a difference.

By the way, is your family (hsuband, kids, etc.) supportive and understanding?

[scaredjo]

i would be PETRIFIED if it was my heart i would cry and cry that is my problem i dont want to be ill i want to live my life i want to be healthy and happy, saying that if it was my heart my life probably wouldn be that different i would still worry and be frightened of doing things, going places i would still have the worry that my heart could pack up at any time only the worries would be real
haha i just laughed at the word REAL cause i think i get what your`e saying at the moment i dont have REAL as in REAL heart problems!!! (hope you know what i mean)
anyway the doc listened to my heart and did my BP all normal

[JSGeare]

You are not responsible for yout therapist's feelings.

I'm going to ask you a very strange question: Suppose, just suppose, the doctor's had all confirmed that it IS your heart. How would your life be different right now? What would YOU be doing differently right now? Think about that and let me know.

[scaredjo]

i really dont know any more i made an appointment with my doc this morning but now im sad i let my therapist down (she asked me not to visit a doctor about my heart) i havent slept all night worrying about the pains, i even slept on my sons floor because i believed he would wake up if i anything happened to me as my husband is a deep sleeper and wouldn wake up. i fight with myself all the time one min i tell myself its anxiety and calm down the next im wondering but what if its serious? its driving me crazy

[JSGeare]

You don't MAKE your head do anything.

Rather, you ALLOW your head to look at the evidence. What makes sense, when you see it all?

[AJWS6]

Chest pains are not always related to heart problems, worrying about heart problems, can cause stress/anxiety which can cause chest pains.  Digestive problems, acid reflux, pleursy, costocondritis, etc.... can cause chest pains.  

Do your best to relax, not adding stress into your life, and try to wait patiently for a doctor to diagnose the chest pains.  If you feel it's urgent, then by all means visit the ER.  

If the doctors tested and found no abnormal results, try not to worry.  Continue visiting a doctor until you recieve the answers that will comfort you.  Hope you feel better soon.