breathing issues/panic

[tke5768]

hello all, well I am having a breakdown. I have a wedding for my cousin that I am in in two weeks that I am not excited about. i have huge health anxiety, and the wedding is in a small town with no hospital, and my family has no idea that I have anxiety and would just tell me to suck it up and have a beer. (NOT SUPPORTIVE), my husband is trying to help me out, but I am so afraid that I am going to pass out, I have shortness of breath all the time and I don't want to look like an idiot when I have anxiety in the middle of the wedding, I am trying to think the positive way. its just anxiety, I won't pass out, I will be fine. I almost lost it when I had to go to the shower last week. and that was only for a day, for 4 hrs. Now I half to leave Friday night and not come back until Sunday. Oh MY GOD what the hell am I gonna do. Why do I half to have this ****. I am so tired of feeling this way. i would say I wish I were dead, however Im to scared to die!!!! lol. I am going down hill fast. I see bip that you pray alot, I am so glad that people on here have god to turn to however that is a quest I am still on also. I really don't know what I feel about God at this point in my life. I am still searching. Thank-you for listening tonight. Im sure I will be writing more as the weeks come about. Have a great evening

[bip]

Oh hun, I know you are going to be fine... Keep saying to yourself Im going to be fine. Im going to go to a wedding and Im going to have so much fun.... This anxiety is not going to ruin this wedding.  Please don't let anxiety ruin your fun. I need to give advise to myself to(LOL)......I'll pray for you..
Keep me posted

[spade22]

Are you on any medication for your anxiety? If not, you may want to talk to your doctor about something to help you manage your symptoms on the day (and the days leading up to the event).

How are you getting to the wedding venue?  If you are driving, you have the option of hopping in the car and driving to the nearest  hospital if necessary.  I think with anxiety disorders, just KNOWING that you can get to the hospital if you need to, really helps - its a "safety net" to fall back on "just in case".  If you dont have a car, there will definetly be people at the wedding that will drive you to a hospital if need be.  Again, I think having a strategy in place - a safety net - will help you cope with this event.

Since your husband is coming with you, he will be able to support you through this and provide another "safety net" for you.  Also, if things get too overwhelming, you can always leave the wedding early- no big deal.

Finally, you said you are worried about "looking like an idiot" - has this ever happened before?  What is there to suggest this would happen? What is the WORST that could happen?

[Raine9]

I agree with spade22.

I developed shortness of breath (SOB) in January and chest tightness in March.  I took Xanax and then Klonopin a few times.  It helped with both symptoms.  The SOB dissipated and the chest tightness vanished.  The drugs will also help you stay calm and get through the wedding.  Ask your doctor for a small supply if you don't already have it.

BEST.

[heartfluttersflyawayplz]

[heartfluttersflyawayplz]

unlike others i feel like you , if am that scared and know am going to have a bad day i just dont go, tell your family how you are be honest, let them know its going to be hard on you and you would love to be there but just cant. my family understands me because they all know how i am and the wedding will go on . if you think you can do it than ask your dr a bout a nerve pill that will get you through it and yes your husband will be ther to support you . my husband akways makes me feel safe and he knows if i say lets go than we are gone. GOD IS GREAT and i will pray that you come to a plan and that it works for you. barbara

[suzi-q]

I agree with Spade 22.....ASK FOR XANAX!!!  but make sure you do not drink any alcohol.

[spade22]

Sorry, but I have to disagree with you - avoidance is one of the worst things you can possibly do.  By not attending an event, you are training yourself to use avoidance to relieve your symptoms which can lead to full-blown agoraphobia!

I agree that tellling your select family members how you feel could eleviate some of the pressure.  Having a supportive husband will certainly help and, do see about the pills.

[Raine9]

In an indirect way, I think that avoidance also makes hypochondria worse as well.  I no longer google my symptoms which is probably a good thing but it hasn't really relieved my anxiety at all.  I also avoid thinking the worse about my health.  However, I think that the key to overcoming hypochondria is to face the fears of getting a disease and accepting it and being okay with it.  This is a lot easier said than done.  However, it has nothing to do with avoidance.

[tke5768]

thank-u all for your comments,unfortunately I cannot tell my family they are not very supportive, and as for medication I have tried half of the lowest does of xanax, and I fell asleep for 8 hrs. I am super sensative to medication. I will half to endure the anxiety. I just can't stop obsessing how I am gonna feel. I know I should appreciate that my life is pretty easy, however in my head it is a war, and my brain is going back and forth from death to hope that either this will kill me or my hope is that I can be happy one day, with at least minimal anxiety. Thanks again everyone have a good one.

[fluffyrabbits]

The worst thing about anxiety is constantly fighting with yourself in your own mind. To other people, it seems impossible to understand, because when your on the outside looking in, its easy to see that there's so much more in life than just what's inside that window they're looking into. but we ARE IN THE WINDOW, and so to us, we're so busy fighting ourselves, that it sometimes becomes very complicated to see that there is so much more to life around us, because we're so focused on what's going on RIGHT NOW.

You can't just make yourself "stop thinking" the way you are, and it can be very frustrating, but just keep reminding yourself that THIS TOO SHALL PASS. It doesnt mean it will happen today, it doesnt mean it will happen tomorrow, and its a very slow process, but eventually things somewhere will get better, and you will be ok. I used to get really scared about my health, and if I went somewhere where a hospital wasn't super close around, but I made myself realize that I spent so much time being scared and focusing on the "what if something bad happens, what if somethings terribly wrong with me" that I forgot to realize that I was perfectly fine, and the only thing holding me back was the constant obsession of what if. It took some time for me to see, but when I did see, I saw that if something was really wrong with me, and if something horrible was going to happen, it would have happened by now. Every night I'd go to sleep thinking I was going to die, and in being so obsessed with that thought, i forgot to realize that every day I kept waking up. I was still alive, and I was perfectly fine.

Remember that if you DO pass out for some reason at the wedding, all that will happen is that you pass out... and then you wake up. maybe it would be a little embarassing, but also know that passing out at a wedding, is surprisingly very common. I've seen it a million times. And if you pass out, I highly doubt anyone is just going to leave you there in the middle of the floor, no matter how unsupportive they are. Just take deep slow breaths, try to think of anything but, and it might even help if you go for a nice run or something before the wedding, to help burn off some of the anxiety?

Don't give up on yourself, and don't let this anxiety hold you back. Think to yourself "what would the happy me do? if this anxiety wasn't a problem, what would I choose to do? would I go to the wedding? would I most likely have a good time?" that's what I do. Don't miss out on life and all the wonderful things it can bring you, because "what if" is standing in your way. Instead of hiding because of "what if", face your fears head on and ask "what now?" It's not easy at all I know, but it's better to get if over with and let what should happen happen, instead of hiding from it and never knowing what you might have accomplished had you taken the opportunity.

Hope this helps :)

[Raine9]

I don't think you should give up on the meds.  Xanax is a pretty powerful drug. It made me drowsy too and doesn't really agree with certain people. Klonopin is probably a better choice.  Have you tried it?  Both drugs however, make people drowsy in the beginning.  But that goes away.  I am not a big fan of medication.  However, these drugs helped my physical symptoms (not necessarily my emotional ones) and they might help yours as well.

Good luck.

[tke5768]

thank u , can I take u guys with me. WANT TO GO TO IOWA. lol, I know you do. Anyway thanks again for the words of wisdom. I definately try to do that, this is why I need to go. I always feel anxiety whereever I go anymore and I still do it. I just hate the constant symptoms, and always the new ones creep up on me. I feel so crazy sometimes. Even though I am not.