Hi , i am 23 years old . i have been suffering from anxiety-depression symptoms from my teen years . I cant sleep more than 6 hours but I always wake up so tired, i dont have desire to wake up. I continue to sleep , but not proper sleep , just dreaming , prolonged dreaming which makes me so tired , unmotivated , irritable, panicky even sometimes i have suicidal thoughts duo to my impulisvity. If i would woke up immediatly and not enter in that dreaming state i am better , much much bettter during the day. i stopped going to university and i dont work beacause with cycle which countinues whith years. i have been treated with citalopram , zoloft but these didint help me just made my insomnia and my motivation worse.even i tried to be treated with risperidone but i quiet it after my first dose because of terrible side effects ( couldnt think at all and couldnt stop walking - akathsia ).Then i stopped going to psychiatrist and i abused XANAX about three years ( i have ignored the fact of addiction because at that time i didnt know anything about the neurotransmitter theory).Then i decided to stop XANAX and i did it. . i had terrible withdrawal symptoms , My blood preassure went up to 170-100 , i couldnt sleep more than 2-3 ours i day , i had pain in all over my body ( flu like symptoms), panic attacks etc. I didnt go out about three month. Now it is the third mounth which i dont take any medications except 3mg melatonin for sleep and sometimes pronalolol ( antihypertensive) and cardiovascular exercises . But the cylce still continues. If i sleep well and i woke up before entering in that draming state ( which usually lasts 2 - 3.5 hours ) i am better ( more patient , more logical , in better mood etc .) but if i dream to much which which happens most of the time i am very bad during the day. I hope you understand what i said beacuse my english is not so good .i need any advise . Please help . Please share any similar experience .