For the past 18 years I have suffered a strange feeling of everything looking fake, and a feeling of almost being withdrawn into my self. i have since learnt about Deralisation (DR) and depersonalisation (DP). I mainly have derealisation.
What kicked started my DR was an oculargyric crisis (a dystonic reaction: fixed stare, distorted rigid position, paralysis). Which was brought on by an adverse reaction or overdose of Stemetil (prochlorperazine). I was 15, and in hospital for an appendectomy. I was given Benztropine to counter the effects of the stemitil induced oculargyric crisis.
I have trawled the net for any DR/DP sufferers that have similar symptoms to me, and i haven't found anybody. I understand the mechanism of how i possibly got DR, i.e. In my case the oculagyric crisis was extremely stressful and traumatic, exacerbated by the fact that i suffered two crisis within 4 hours. I guess, (although I've never really given it much thought until recently), as a child i was always a deep thinker, and possibly suffered from anxiety. So i may have been predisposed to DR/DP and just needed a catalyst to take me there.
My problem with my DR is this: The onset of my DR following the crisis was accompanied with a sensation at the back of my head. i.e. immediately following the crisis, I had a pressure sensation at the back of the head and foggy feeling (DR). These two conditions have been chronic and progressive ever since. Thats the anomaly about my DR experience. By chronic i mean i have had both the DR and pressure sensation since i was 15. They have not fluctuated in severity up and down, they have just both got progressively steadily worse over the last 18 years. They seem tied to each other. My DR now makes me feel extremely distance from what i felt like to be normal and the sensation, which started at the back of the head has since spread over to encompass my entire head. The pressure had, until recently, almost reached the point like my head was going to explode.
After discovering that i had DR (about 2 weeks ago) i learnt about anxiety and its relationship with DR. i have since practiced deep breathing techniques, started a better diet, and exercised more. I have also stopped drinking alcohol (though i was never a very heavy drinker). these changes (especially the breathing & relaxation) have taken the bit of edge off the head pressure, though the DR still remains.
I have suffered over the years with headaches and migraines, but these may have been brought on by the years of stress, worrying about what was wrong with me. I have also, in the past, had MRI and CT scans, which were normal. Incidentally i started suffering Tinnitus and sinus problems following the onset of DR. I also developed myopia (although most of family are short sighted) not sure how relevant these conditions are to the DR and head pressure.
My questions are:
Is my experience unique or does anybody have DR/DP closely tied to a physical condition?
Does anybody have DR that is progressive (continues to worsen regardless)?
should i pursue a pathological/medical approach (i.e. check for neurological disease/abnormallity, scans, drugs etc) or a holistic approach (continue with breathing, relaxation, and meditation)?
is it possible that i will one day be 100% ok again?
I honestly don't know much about your condition... My only advice would be seek as much medical help as you possibly can... someone is bound to give you answers. I am a huge believer in holistic remedies and therapy. I would suggest that you explore those avenues...
I think you absolutely have the ability to be 100% okay again, you just have to be persistent and find something that works for you!
Good luck :)
Hey there, i have a lot of depersonalization and derealisation, and i have a weird feeling in my haed as if theres pressure or a bubble in there, its weird, i think it is all linked to the anxiety/panic. It completely freakes me out sometimes. I have had a CT scan so i guess everythings ok. I also get funny rumbling/noises in my ears.
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