errands

[DJ873]

just went and ran a couple of errands without my husband, for me this is huge, I don't even like going places with him :) i sooo want to believe all this stuff i read about panic and depression, that to face the fear and do it anyway is my key to wellness but damn I hate feeling all shaky, feeling like people are looking at me like I am strange, feeling like i need to keep moving, not being focused, etc. I hate hate hate that feeling,, especially the shakiness and dizziness but darn it i am determined to see this thru, to give it the time i need to make it less traumatic. I did use the thoughts can't hurt me to keep going but the movie of going nuts and ending up in a mental hospital keeps playing in the background. Those thoughts are so well set that I can see why it will take time to retrain the thought patterns, arrggg, still stressin about the tooth too. That something will happen to end me up in the hospital

[Alisonj29]

If it has to be one of those moments than that is ok. I go through the same thing with my morphine. It takes an awful lot of pain before I will give in and take one but when I do have to, I dont feel guilty because I know that its my last resort. I am beginning to learn that the anticipatory anxiety is by far worse than the actual situation. If I could I would come to the dentist with you. But you wont be alone during it, dont forget that.

[DJ873]

Thanks alison, just needed to vent it thru, i know we all feel the frustration of having to deal with this and why we can't just skip thru life like we think others do. I know my fears of the dentist aren't rational, just fears, but they are so huge. I had to have an endimitriol biopsy a few months ago (everything is fine) but i was sooo freaked out and cancelled once, got there and left after i got to the room once and then did it just cuz i didn't want to put myself thru the anticipatory anxiety again. Kinda feel lke that with this, if i cancel i will have to go thru this worrying about it again. So am trying to make up my mind to just do it but i think this will be a xanax moment :) haven't used those in a while. Try to only allow myself to use 1 a month as I see the hell people go thru that use them regular to quit them

[Alisonj29]

Hun, you went out alone! You did it. The feeling ***** but in the end YOU DID IT! Ignore others, do what you have to do. I am sure that the odds of something happening that would wind up putting you in the hospital with your tooth are about 1 in 1,000,000,000,000. Trust in the dentist, make sure he knows your fears. You are just having one of those days, tomorrow is a brand new day. Look at the positives in everything. I know you can! If you want to chat message me!