everyone on here sounds like me

I started having anxiety problems over a year ago after my cousin died. I had an episode of  tachycardia, trembling severely, problems taking a deep breath and feeling like I was going to die. I went to the Er and they said it was anxiety. I came home and stated having periodic episodes of flushing, tremors in my right arm and pain in my neck, shoulders and top of head. I am now convinced its a brain tumor. I had a cat scan 8 months ago that came back negative but I'm convinced that the tumor was somehow missed or located in my brainstem where a cat scan can't get good enough detail to see. I still have all the symptoms of tachycardia and trembling and breathing issues as well. I was just hospitalized for it a few weeks ago and the Dr's swore I had heart trouble. After 3 days and numerous heart tests, blood work etc.. I was released from the hospital with nothing more than what they now call anxiety. I wanted an MRI so bad, but the Dr's think I'm nuts. I've lost so much sleep over this matter...oh and if thats not enough I started having apnea episodes about once every 3 weeks that have me convinced of this tumor in my brain. I wake up gasping for air as if I quit breathing and end up in a state of complete panic. I do take a beta blocker and lorazepam and admittedly feel better, but I still think its masking my brain tumor symptoms.

[greenlydia]

Not to discount your symptoms, which I know are very real to you, or your fear, which all of us can relate to, but I think your opening sentence said it all.
You suffered a very traumatic event and I'm sorry for your loss, but I believe rather than dealing with the greiving process, you turned it inward and "created" all these health issues.
That you have been to the ER, have seen your own doctor, (who I will assume is the one who had you admitted to the hospital) that you spent three days there undergoing numerous tests and the only DX that all these doctors could come up with is anxiety is telling me that you have a classic case of health anxiety. It's most common component is the inability to accept the fact we are fine, albiet suffering from anxiety. The "undiscovered" brain tumor is very high on the list for people with health anxiety. (I had one for almost 4 years before a pair of glasses made it go away!)
Because your symptoms ARE real, and I don't mean just in your mind, I mean that I believe you ARE actually feeling these things, only proves how powerful our minds are. Accepting that medically there is nothing organically wrong is where we run into trouble.
My advice, ask your doctor for a referral to a good psychiatrist. Being medical doctors first, shrinks second, he/she will be able to discern any possible symptoms of a brain tumor. Which they already did in the hospital, and which you can't accept because you've got it in your MIND that the ONLY way they are going to find this tumor is with an MRI. I am NOT a doctor, but I do work in a hospital, and I wish you could trust me that if there was even the slightest doubt that a tumor was present, you WOULD have had that MRI. I know you are going to say that you were there for your heart to be checked out, so the doctors were not looking in the right place, but I will again assume that you brought up your fear of the tumor.
Were you actually diagnosed with sleep apnea in a Sleep Lab, or is this just a guess on your part? Waking up out of a sound sleep with an anxiety attack will often mimic sleep apenea...........that feeling of having to gasp for air is a very common symptom. Who wouldn't panic if they thought they had actually quit breathing? There are criteria that must be met for a DX of sleep apnea and brain tumors and MS and all the things your anxious mind will throw at you. A psychiatrist can bring order to your chaos.
As far as the meds you are taking being able to "mask" a brain tumor I am not qualified to answer, even tho my gut reaction is to say no. This is yet another issue to bring up with your p-doc.
I am sorry you are going through this. It's a not good place to be, but most of HAVE been there, are STILL there, or are map-questing our way there!
In this day and age with doctors being so over-booked and seemingly too busy to really listen to us, we need to be very proactive in our own health care. If you feel you have not gotten the correct treatment or DX, it is your right to seek out second and even third or fourth opinions.
But I believe you just need to back up a year and deal with what happened. And I think you should do that with the help of a psychiatrist.
Please let us know how your're doing, OK? And post here as often as you need.
Peace
Greenlydia              

[mariepetreikis]

Thank you so much for your comment. I think I need a good stong support group, something that I do not get at home. My kids are too consumed with themselves and my husband is completely unsupportive. As a matter of fact, I believe, he is the cause of a lot of what is going on with me right now. I was not married to him when this all started, but got married to him this past October and it seems that things went from bad to worse since then. He is very mentally and emotionally abusive to me and I really can't stand being around him. I made a huge mistake with this marriage which only makes me believe that my irrational thinking is also part of some brain tumor symptom. I just feel like my whole world is spinning out of control and all these crazy symptoms that keep recurring are all making matters worse.  Maybe a good therapist is just what I need.