I just thought I would ask you all whether you suffer with th same fears as me.
Ever since I was a young girl I have feard death, the prospect of my whole body switching off and facing eternal nothingness fills me with dread. I know people keep telling me that when your dead you wont know it, it will be like sleeping forever, but I just cant stop thinking about it, when will it happen and whats it going to feel like? Does anyone else suffer with this awfull fear?
I suffer with panic attacks and anxiety which bring on all sorts of physical symptoms, I will list some that I am struggling with at the moment -
flashing in my eyesight
headaches (almost every day)
pain in the jaw and around the ears
strange head sensations
short episodes where I feel like I cant swallow......................... the list is quite long, sorry :)
So all these symptoms are pretty scary, ive looked them up on the net (i know, big mistake) and it comes up with all kinds of horrible stuff, strokes, TIA's, anuerysm's........ which terrify me, its all I think about and im only 22! The doctor says he thinks im ok, I had a CT scan a year ago which came back normal, guess im just paranoid.
Please let me know if enyone else feels the same, I would really like to hear from you, thanks xx
Hello there. I suffer from anxiety as well and yes it is very scarey. I feel like Im going to die and I get very scared. I sometimes have to call an ambulance because of my fear. I am now taking xanex when I feel anxious which I wish I didn't have to but no choice at the moment. Best thing for me to do is realize Ive been thru this before and I didn't die..its just an awful thing to deal with. Hang in there!! I know people think we are crazy but they aren't the ones that have to live with these fears..we do unfortunately :( it will be okay tho just live your life the best way you can and death will seem less scarey..that helps me. good luck!!
I am the same way and fear the same things that you do. I check my pulse I don't know how many times a day to make sure I'm not having a heart attack, even when I'm up moving around doing what others would view as seemingly fine. I guess everyone that suffers from anxiety fear a lot of the same thing. I just know that it's good to know I'm not alone in the world when it comes to my train of thought.
I'm obsessive about dying. It terrifies me, and I have all of the symptoms you have as well. I also walk around checking my pulse..and I do it while im laying in bed before I go to sleep juuuust to make sure. I'm really obsessed with my heart rhythm. It's nice to know I'm not the only one who does that. I feel like such a freak when I do it.
I have no idea how to stop fearing death...it's not exactly one of those things you can experience and then come back and say ok that wasn't so bad:p I have problems watching movies where people die instantaneously and without any warning and will think about it non stop for days because it bothers me so much!! Does anyone else do that?
You and I must've been seperated at birth because I go about checking my pulse what seems like all day long. If I'm at work and there are a lot of people around, I'll run off to the bathroom and check it there and look in the mirrors to see my eyes and make sure they're not doing anything weird, etc. I also check my pulse for a little while when I go to bed, too. You sound just like me to an extent that it's kind of weird, HAHA!
Does it ever feel like your heart is beating super fast but when you check your pulse, it's actually beating at a normal pace? That happens to me a lot. It's one of the strangest feelings.Or I feel like it's skipping a beat, but once again when I feel my pulse everything is perfectly normal.
Hey i hear ya on that. Ealier this year i was a total mess! It became one concern after another, if not HIV, then Liver problems, if not that, then cancer and the list goes on... I've had so many tests done and all came back fine but i still continued to look up diseases and compare symptoms to whatever symptoms i have and belive me, i was so scared for a while that i couldnt eat, i lost a tone a weight (which was actually a good thing, i needed it :) ) But then, i started taking meds and doing the thearpy thing and statyed away from the net.. Thats the biggie..Stay away from looking up diseases on the net... Very bad!!! Best thing u should do is go out with friends, get yourself into interests u might have.. Please do that, life is too short to worry constontley when at the same time your ok! Just tell yourself this "Everyone thing is going to be ok" You also should get in touch with an anxiety support group.
i'm terrified of death. it's very easy to allow it to consume me...but one thing that i've found to help is simply numbers. sheer numbers of people who've already died and who will die....there are 6 billion some odd people in this world at this very second...all will be dead within a hundred years or so. ALL of them...that doesn't include everyone that's come before now and all that will come after...and everyone who ever has and ever will exist will die. imagine just 6 billion, which is only a fraction of the amount of people who've already died....thats a huge number. that really helps me to view it as just another part of nature. it also helps me realize i truly love life and so i don't take it for granted as much. whats more imporant is that i have to die...we all have to die...so that other people get a chance to live life. if humans didn't die, then you and i simply wouldn't be here to begin with. this comforts me to know that death is all part of the process so that someone else will get to experience life. why should i be so selfish to hog it all for myself?
anyway...these thoughts help me accept death for what it is. i don't know that they'll help anyone else...but they do me. death is a process of life...not and ending. we still exist in some form whether there's an afterlife or not. thats what i think anyway.
this is STRICTLY my opinion. I personally believe in an after-life-I've seen too many odd things to NOT believe in one-so I don't believe we just stop existing. However, because of this, death freaks me out even more because I don't exactly follow my religious beliefs. I just have them. So, if we do go to Heaven or Hell, and I'm all destined to go to the latter, you can see why I might be a bit conflicted and not too terribly overjoyed about the whole death thing. I hate that I can't just make a decision about it. It might make my life a little easier. Anyone else?
Im terrified that there just isnt anything, that life will just stop. I mean theres so much I want to know, about the meaning of it all about all the other planets out there, I dont want to stop existing. As, for my beliefs, well, im just not sure. Sometimes I look at Buddhism and watch the Dalai Lama and think, yeh that makes sense. I wish I had a faith.
I'm almost the opposite of you. If I could get it together and stop being so ambivalent towards religion, it might not be so bad. If you're interested in spirituality, there's all kinds of things you can read that are super interesting. Skelly88 might be a better person to ask about that though:) He knows more about it than I do.
But I also hate the idea of nothing. So maybe I also ambivalent. Death is just one of those tricky subjects that you can talk about until the day you die w/o ever resolving it. Although, I will say, being in the health field, I've seen a lot of death. And a lot of my patients who were scared of dying, by the end they were totally at peace with it, they knew it was their time and they were ready to go. I asked one of them how they knew one time, and she said honey, honey, you'll never know until you get here, and you'll never be at peace with it if you're one of them people who's scared of it. Not until it's your time. Then you'll be okay. That's of course assuming I die of old age....
Yeah, I have to feel my heart rate all the time just because of that. Thinking that my heart is pounding like it's never done before... But then when I check it, it's okay other than a littla racey from me getting it up to where it is from worrying a little. I also find it weird how calm I am when I read through what other people have to say and then help them, yet I can't do it for myself. It's almost as though I have to have someone else reassure me that what I am thinking isn't really happening.
I'm the same way...just reading that you do the same thing I do is calming for me:)
As for the whole giving/taking advice, i'm right there with you. I can give it, but I'm terrible at taking it. I really don't know why. Even if a person later tells me the advice I gave them worked out great for them, I still can't listen to myself. But then, they probably couldn't listen to themselves either. Otherwise, why get advice? I think we all need that little push from other people to help ourselves out.
I do the same thing, i'm always checking my pulse, worrying about my heart, thinking i'm having a heart attack, i have a terrible fear of death, i think all that just comes along withthe anxiety, ya know? and it *****, dont worry, you have so many people here that experience te same things you do. you're not alone. promise.
I walk around checking my pulse as well, haha. I try to laugh at it, but its hard. I can't think straight, i have loss of appetite, and its just terrible. Do you know if anxiety causes cold feet as well? even if its like room temperature?
Last November I began having panic attacks. At first I did not know what was happening. I then became afraid of dying. I went a whole week with out sleeping for fear that I would die in my sleep. I had many of the same symptoms you and the others have had. I literally thought I was going crazy. My boyfriend took me to the emergency because I was so slepep deprived. That is when I got my first shot of Ativan. I came home slept for 8 hours or so and then was back feeling the same way after the Ativan wore off. This went on for a few more days, I then contacted my family cousler that I hadn't seen in ages and started seeing her again. Once I started seeing her I was diagnosed with post traumatic stress. I had taken care of my Grandfather for a few years and was with him when he passed. At the time I thought that I could handle it and life went on for a year or so and then one day the fear of dying set in. I ended up at the doctors office and have been on medication since. The medication has helped a lot but so have my cousling sessions. Death has been a big part of my life. When my Grandfather died not only was I mourning for him but for the mother I lost to Cancer at the age of 12 as well as my other Grandparents. You know reading your post actually makes me feel better to know that there are others out there who share the same fears as I. Death is a part of life and as easy as that is to say, it is so hard to look it in the face.
What's on the other side....
As I began working with my counsler I began to ask this as well. Now I know this is a touchy subject so I am only going to share my personal experience with you. Good Friday this year was my first day back to church since I was a child. My cousin invited me and I decided to go. I cried through the whole service and the many services after that. I went back to my counsler and one of the duties she gave me was to start a journal. She indicated that she could see that I was soul searching and thought this would help. I began writing letters to anxiety, fear, death you name it. My heart poured out. But it wasn't until I started (and still do) writing letters to God that I knew what was happening. God was shaking me up! I needed to make some changes in my life and I did. To this day I go to church every Sunday and have been re dedicated as well as baptized. I believe there is a God and I believe that when you die you just don't die. Knowing this now eases my mind. I have put my life in God's hands and he has directed me to the wonderful people who are helping me with my anxiety and my fears. I have learned that I am not in control of everything and I have learned to as they say "let go and let God" :) No my fears have not fully gone away but I continue to take my meds and see my counsler. Every day I am growing in faith and am learning how to deal with my anxiety.
I hope that I have not offended anyone. This is simply my experience and I am sharing other view point. Just knowing that when it is my time, Christ will come for me and the thought of being with my loved ones soothes my mind.
I hope that you will find ways to comfort yourself whatever that may be.
I don't know if it CAUSES it, but I know when I have it, my hands and feet are really cold, even at room temp, and I shake a lot but the shaking feels like it's coming from inside of me. It doesn't feel like I'm shaking because I'm cold, does that make sense?
yeah...religion is really a touchy subject for some people. i think it's good you shared your experience though. it actually helped me feel better to read it. i wish my faith were stronger than it is.
you know, i think something can be said by your post...and that is that we have to all come to terms with death in some way. for a lot of people, it's via a deity...and for some it's through other means. some believe that if there isn't a God, then there is nothing beyond this world. i say that God or no god, science itself has opened up endless possibilities to what may come after we die. they say there are endless parallel universe's...so the way i see it, that makes endless possibility for what happens when we die. anyway...i guess accepting death for me is just easier when i accept that it's simply part of the natural cycle.
so now that you have a stronger belief in God, how has that changed the way you view death?
I feel you on alot of those symptoms. I am a 20 year old male and I am going through a hard time right now too. I get random spells where I just want to cry I think about death sometimes and it does scare me but I have come to realie that worrying doesnt fix anything. I hate when people tell me that but it is true. I have come to realize that we cant do this alone and I am trying to bring myself closer to God. That is just me personally some people dont have this same belief and that is ok
"so now that you have a stronger belief in God, how has that changed the way you view death?"
As a part of this life we are living. My body will eventually die and my soul will go to Heaven. My only hope is that I fullfill Gods will for my life before my time comes. I don't want to look back and say "what the heck was I doing all this time" :)
The greatest thing I have learned is that fear does not come from God, and when we are fearful of something we need to reconnect to our higher power. And for me that is God. When I am scared I ask God to help me with my fears and to focus on his will for my life. I will always battle fears like everyone else, but it is how I choose to deal with them that matters most.
You are so right. You cannot do this alone. It is o.k. to cry. Believe me I have spent the last few months in tears many times. If you are truly searching for God. Open your heart a simply cry out to him. Trust me, if you call he will hear you. I found closeness through journaling.
You can also visit your local book store preferably a Christian one. Family Christian book store has wonderful books for all age groups and well and gender. I started with a book from Joyce Meyers that dealt with anxiety, fear, and a few other topics. I then moved on to many other wonderful authors and of course read your bible.
My problem is not that I don't have faith, or that I feel uncertain about what death is. In fact, I have complete faith and confidence that we will continue to live even after we die. I wanted to let crazycow know that there IS life after death. Our spirits will go to Heaven where we can live forever with God and our family and friends. We are not here on accident, God loves us, and he is always there for us, even in death. This does give me so much peace when I think about it.
However, we are only human. No matter how much faith I have, I still have anxiety and I still fear death because I fear leaving my family here. I just had a baby and I hate the thought of not being here to see him grow up, and leaving him and my husband alone. I also fear the uncertainty. Although I know that Heaven will be a wonderful, beautiful, peaceful place, I am still scared of the actual dying part. You don't know how or when or what it will be like - and that unknown is what is scary.
All you can do is pray to find peace and search for the answers you are looking for. It helps to know that God is there and that death isn't the end. I can't promise it will take away all the fear, but it will help. I wish you all the best!
I am happy to read your post and the strong faith that you have in God. What helps ease my mind about the actual dying part and who we leave behind is the God is always in control. No matter what happens, he will take care of us in our time of need as well as our family. You are so right, we are not here by chance. We all have our roles in life and God uses us to fullfill his will.
Your comment is spot on with how I feel. I am a Christian, my family members are as well. I know that there is a God not just on a doctrinal level, but on a theological, philosophical, and scientific level as well (I am currently in a theology program, which I love, at Liberty University right now). However, though I know the end result and am fairly sure of my destination upon death - it is still scary, mainly because of my family. I do not want to leave my 3 young kids and wife here alone. I do know that God will provide for them, but I just do not want to be the cause of so much emotion and pain at such a young age. I have so much more to do and feel that I have not realized my purpose in God's will as it stands.
However, I realize that many people (including me) who have anxiety and panic disorder have a problem with not being in control, or had some sort of traumatic event (which is still based on control - something came up that you first realized that you really ultimately do not have control over certain aspects of your life). Whether we like to admit it or not, we are (for the most part) control-freaks. Now, when I first came to this conclusion, I thought that was ridiculous at first - I have always been an easy going "go with the flow" type of person and never like to make decisions like where to go out to eat, what car to buy, etc. I am just sort of like "whatever" with most things. However, when I have examined my thoughts and patterns of anxiety, I have come to the realization that I am not so much a "control-freak" but a lack-of-control freak. I think the difference is that in the above mentioned situations, I COULD have the control if I wanted it, but I choose not to (a form of control in and of itself); however, issues of health and death, there is only so much control we can have. This causes the anxiety and panic.
Anyhow, I still find it hard sometimes to turn my life completely over to God, though I know He is there and I know this is what I need to do. However, I go through times when I do completely surrender as I am supposed to - those are the times I am anxiety and panic free. However, during my down times where I try to take control back myself, I am in a constant state of panic and anxiety.
I will finish this post with a little ditty called Pascal's Wager, which some of you may have heard of, but for those who haven't it is a good starting point for faith-building (though as compared to all the other evidence of God's existence - uncaused-cause, immpossibility of something from nothing, and the laws/lawmaker relationship, this is relatively weak)
If you are a believer and Heaven does exist, you gain eternal life.
If you are a believe and Heaven does not exist, you lose nothing.
If you are a non-believer and Heaven does not exist, you lose nothing.
If you are a non-beleiver and Heaven does exist, you gain eternal damnation in the lake of fire.
Hmm, seems to me that odds are better and it makes sense to believe simply based on that. I mean, there is NO risk to being a believer, yet a non-believer risks eternal pain, suffering, thirst, damnation, anxiety, panic, etc.
Just my 2 cents - I wasn't trying to stir up anything on such a sensitive subject, just wanted to share my opinion.
so wonderful to hear your story of success with improvement. i am so scared, my doc has been looking for a cancer in me for 6 months with no diagnosis yet but some real indicators. i have a 2 year old boy who is so wonderful and so attached to me and i can't bear the thought of leaving him to grieve and grow up without me. i can't take it. it's so hard to think of other things and go on with life. i have new symptoms all the time, some stress-related, some not, and end up at the docs several times a week to see if this might be the thing that's going to kill me. meanwhile my husband is sick of my "hypochondria," and i'm not enjoying the life i should be having with my family because i'm so busy worrying about what i maybe should be doing to find a cure for what i have but i don't know what it is. it is so awful. how did you get to open up to faith? i need to have faith, i need to move ahead, to live life, to trust god, but i don't know if i believe in god enough to do that.
I suffer with panic attacks and anxiety which bring on all sorts of physical symptoms, I will list some that I am struggling with at the moment -
flashing in my eyesight
headaches (almost every day)
pain in the jaw and around the ears
strange head sensations
short episodes where I feel like I cant swallow......................... the list is quite long, sorry :)
I have all of these,
someone menioned shaking,I call them little internal tremmors
cold feet and hands,omg yes,and I may even get hot too and still cold hands and feet
I started panic attacks and anxiety in 1989 when I was 26,it lasted for 1 year really bad,then took about 7 months more to get to feel like myself,and I was also pregnant and given birth at that time,
in 1996 it started again,after my mom died,finding out I had a goiler and lmps on it,thought I had cancer and 3 small kids
13 years later,still on the smae pills,I get waves of anxiety,so right now I am on a wave,even as I type ,I have the clock display so I can stop to check my pulse,
it started 3 days ago,waking up with rapid heat beat,but only because \i was worried of pain in my tummy for 3 days and I have had this pain before but only foods that give me gas,this time the pain has stayed,so of course I think my Aorta will erupt
thats the thinking of someone who has panic attacks
I do go on line looking for answers,I am the kind of person who needs to know,and also I arm myself with info to ask my doctor,I don't think I have all the deseases out there,
and with everything I look up,I may have 2 out of 10 symptoms,so this way I don't panic,but I do test my doctor,I use to see a shrink,he wasn't really what I expected,so I stopped seeing him,and started getting my clonazepam from my family doc
I don't like her and I don't talk to her about my anxiety,actually some visits,I would just like to smack her
13 years of the same med,I never took more then I was suppose to,actually for over 10 year I only took one a day when I was told to take 2 a day,but the last 3 months I have been taking the 2 pills a day
had to many things health wise happen and the waiting for results was the worst
I just think this was a bad year for me and now It finally caght up
please all of you get some Vitamin B complex,it helps
anxiety could go either way on wight lose or weight gain
I do believe in God,I know there is a heaven and like a few of you,still doesn't want to make me want to be there
someone else also said haven't found their purpose,I raised my kids,they are all adults now,2 have moved out and I would like to know my purpose also
when I am in panic as much as I fear death,I get upset with God,I say why do I have to go through this,but then I ask God to forgive me for feeling this way,and i know he does
sometimes i do say satan get off my back,I need to say what ever it takes to get me out of a mild panic attack,I feel anxious often,but I don't have full blown panic attack often,maybe 5 all year,and thats great compared to years ago when I was in emerg almost every 3rd day
so even though its so hard when we go through it,at my age now and how long I have had it,it does seem a bit better,still scary though
you said looking for a cancer?did you have cancer,did they find it in blood work,or what you feel,you think it has to be cancer
when I first got this,when I was 26,2 young kid,pregnat wiht my 3rd
I thought I was gonna die
I even had mono,really bad UTI and sinus infection,mono lasted 8 weeks
on top all the panic,weird feeling in my body,pain,some days \i felt my vision was going bad,i was dizzy all the time,had a weight on my chest,felt I was always going to faint
inner body tremmors,bad dreams,couldn't sleep
only put on 2 lbs my whole pregnancy,Thank God my daughter was born over 7 lbs,I got even skinnier
felt a band around my head,cried often,but I think after my daughter was 2 months old,I looked at her and said you need me,I can't be like this,I started feeling better and even stopped my med
but it came back 7 years later and going 13 years,but not as bad...
i don't know if i have cancer. constant fatigue, many symptoms since january, many many tests, blood tests indicate cancer, pet scan indicates cancer, biopsy of one lymph node says not in that node, just an infection, but pet scan says nodes all over body--can't biopsy all of 'em. keep waiting and waiting to find out what it is, where it is, if it is maybe not so bad after all. why doesn't it go away or just show up? you know how bad the waiting is. i have to learn to go on. i like what someone wrote, she said she didn't want people to say she literally worried herself to death! i feel like i need to do something to make me live, i need to accept that even if i have cancer or will die soon from whatever, that's just life and i still need to live the best life i can right now, for my little boy if nothing else.
I know this feeling i have experienced it when i first started getting PA, im not a very religious person so someone suggested that i learn mindfullness. Basically its training you mind to concertrate on whats happenong now!!...You cant change what happened yesterday and cant controll whats going to happen tommorow ...but you can control whats happening in this very moment and i found this really helped...death is going to happen if we worry about it or not its the natrual process of life...Yes it scary but what is more scary is waisting life worrying about something you cant controll...
I also found that listing things that i am greatful for also help and put things in propective, the can be as simple as im glad for the sun shine etc.
Hey everyone, i feel your pain and would like to declare that i am one of those people too with the same condition. I on the other hand have terrible problems at night, i goto bed and lay there then something comes upon on me and i panic. 7/10 i more than likely shed a few tears even though i am a 24yr old male. It may sound quite sad but its one of those things that will probably stick with me until the dreaded time comes. Its nice to come on here and share my thoughts when other people just think you are weirdos. I think people with the same problem should share it and not bottle it up, its nice to be able to communicate with other people and share your feelings.
u dont know how glad to hear that im not the only one who thinks like that i fear death all the time im only 24 years old i have three kids in my mind i think how sad would they be if i die imagin them being sad for me living there life without me than i get very sad i try so hard not to cry in front of them at night i always think of death what if i just stop breathing it gets pretty bad i dont let my kids outside because of all the diseases that they can catch.i do have ovarian cyst but its not cancerous it just fills up with liquid i had that since 2003 i think ever since i found that out i had this fear of dieing there was a time were i was stress out over relationship problems and money i didnt eat for three weeks i kinda shut down i weight 94 pounds at that time im 104 now after having my son in july the sadest thing for me is that my family dont know i have this problem i dont want them to think im insane i dont even drive cause i fear that i might die in a car crash or even kill my kids its hard when people are like u dont drive still i always make excuses why i dont drive only if they knew the real reasone why. my mom does know im fobic about food!!im glad i found a site were i can talk about issues and not be judge about it cause we all have the same thing in commen that is fear..
Well,I have had this terrible fear of dying for many years now, I have lost many family members and been quite traumatised through my life with abuse and loss.I beleive that when we loose somebody or there has been such big happenings in your life this has a massive impact on your life surroundings, I lost my father when I was only three he drowned in a boating accident,then years later I lost my favourite uncle to bowel cancer then a few years later I was abused by my brother, then my mother had two more marriages, in the processI have been to eight different schools, my uncle then died two years later my grandmother, then only two months after that my mother committed suicide, so this is where I have the problem of dealing with life, the loss of life is so faint, its gone before you know it, and why is life so hard, so challenging. I have a beautiful husband and two lovely smart children, ages 3.5 and 6 they are my life my soul and my friends, they keep me going... but still I go to bed and wake with attacks of dying and WHY??? I am not sure
I felt the same and then I finally just faced my fear and said to myself, "If I'm going to die, I know I have touched plenty of peoples heart by now." I've mentally pushed that thought to the back of my head. Something else that can help you face your fears is confront yourself in a mirror and reasure yourself that everything will be ok. Tell yourself that you are healthy and say it with a smile. I may sound crazy, but this helped me several times when I feel like death is close to me. If you are religious in anyway, this could help: Fear is like the devil, it feeds on itself. If you face the devil (within you) then it smothers itself like a fire. I'm not very religious but my father is. He said the devil is inside you (to me it's my evil self) and tries to put fear in your head and when that seed of fear is planted it can only grow bigger if it scares you and the more you fear it the more that fear grows. If you can find a way of chopping it down before it spreads out like a vine then you will be happier. My way was facing myself in a mirror and telling myself that "You're healthy, happy and vibrant. You know that nothing is more powerful than you. You fear nothing and fear really fear's you. It's scared and it's only trying to tear you down. It's only afraid that it's getting chopped down." If you can find a way of chopping down your fear then you could be better. It may grow back from time to time, but you have to chop it right back down again. Everything will be ok! Practice slow, deep, breathing when you fear this thought again. Close your eyes, think of something that makes you happy, and just take slow deep breaths. If certain smells make you relax, try making that smell only available when you feel tense. Mine is fresh strawberries and blueberries. I sometimes make smoothies with strawberries and water or lowfat vanilla yogurt and just lay back and sip on it and try to relax. It helps alot.
Also, the flashing in vision part could be migranes (migraines) from the panic. You sound really tense. try boiling some water and add some lavender herbs to the water. that will help with the headaches or migranes (migraines). I try to use folk remedies or home remedies when treating a symptom. And, if you have or can find peppermint essential oil, try applying a small drop to your temples and behind your ears. It helps with migranes (migraines) and tension headaches.
i was online looking up fear of death because i happened to glance at the obituatry page and started freaking out about how I never want to die.... I found this site and your blog and am glad to see im not alone.... I know its silly... i sit up until 1-2 am everynight (work at 8) worrying about if my heart will stop beathing in the middle of the night, wonder if someone will break in and murder me.... My thing of it is.... No one has died tragically in my family... and i have a big family.... so i am anticipating the worst because it has to happen eventually... or atleast i think it does... thank you for your story. WE ARE ALL in this fight together!
I HATE THAT I AM A CHRONIC PULSE-CHECKER! it is the most ridiculous thing.when you think about it, how many people who actually HAVE heart attacks go around checking their freaking pulse all the time?i feel crazy!
and someone said that they are afraid of dying because of leaving their children behind...thats what i fear most.i cant bear the thought of not seeing my daughter grow up.
i keep telling myself all will be ok and im fine, bu here i am at 1 am typing away when i should be sleeping.sleep?whats that?!
(revival of thread here)
But yeah, same story for me. Last night I kinda awakened the old feeling i knew from 7 years ago.-
Was laying in my bed and suddenly it just popped in my head again- And made me sad to the core.
Worse is in my fantastic mind..... i feel like i can create the feeling of leaving this place.
Like when you come into a room that stinks and you feel like you can almost taste the smell on your tongue-
Now today.... Im not sure what to do. Feel like punching something repeatedly. Just feel angry and that its unfair. (which is kinda childish).-
But hell..... I know its coming one day, and there is no escape.... Why should i then waste time thinking about it? Makes no sense. . . . but then again..... It makes perfect sense. Who can claim they honestly do not fear death ?
I just think that most people are skilled enough to hide that fear from themselves. And somehow I and others need to master that skill again as we once did (guessing we all as children did not give a rats*** about it).
And then again..... Maybe all it takes is to feel you have accomplished what you must in life?
I often imagine being old, living in some house with a old hag I call my wife. Kids and grandchildren.... In that state, would I feel more ready since I had make something of my life?
you helped more than you will ever know...I have been suffering for years with fear of death and everything else...I recently joined church...I;m in the learning process of being a Christian...and was feeling extreme guilt because I still have to take pills for anxiety...I thought that meant I wasn't trusting God enough to cure me....when I go to Church I feel a lot better..but sometimes sitting there every once in a while I get these crazy thoughts again...I know the more I turn my troubles over to God I will start feeling better....but until my relationship strengthens with him I have to learn to ...divert my thoughts...fat chance...but will try...thanks again...
This kind of thread helps me out so much. I have had terrible anxiety for a couple of months now due to job stress and taking care of my elderly mother. I've started becoming agoraphobic which isn't good when you need your job. I know this might be wrong to ask, but for you with faith, I would ask that you pray for me. I cannot even go to church due to my agoraphobia. I have questioned my own faith off and on for most of my life. I will pray each day for others and myself but then I would think, there is nothing more in this life than what we see. It is so frustrating.
I do that! If i see someone die in a show or even worse in real life i think about it ALOT and what happened to them and where they are and if they're okay and if i die what will happen to me and even maybe ill be gone forever. I hate it. I'm very curious as to what happens but then when i think about it i get really scared. Sorry 4 rambling..
Some of the time i obsess and think theres something wrong with my body, it does upset me and change my entire mood. Once I am fixated on the idea i may have some skin disorder or maybe i am infected somehow and i dont know about it or have a disease... those are common thoughts for me every few weeks but i dont let it last long and DO NOT research diseases online to see if you have them if ur like this. Many "symptoms" you may *think* you have, they could be nothing or common among sooooo many disorders and just because u are paranoid and have multiple symptoms, you're just making yourself worry over nothing, but i do know how that feels if anyone is like that. If u are, just watch tv or entertain yourself somehow, go to the doc if u want to and when they examine you and nothing's wrong you'll be fine (for a while at least). I was paranoid i had an STD for the longest time and when i got around to getting tested (i know bad to leave it go but i did for awhile) i was 100% clean on all tests.... I was like wow..... I was SURE i had something because of the paranoia of all the symptoms i *thought* i had....
I am 21 years old and am glad I am not alone. I have had a real hard life going thru a drug addiction (Ice) and now that i am 2 years sober from that i am still depressed. But this is new brought on anxiety. within the last 4 months Ive been becoming obsessed with death. It really scares me and i feel very alone. And im not someone who gets scared easily. I try to keep in mind that when i go, I'll be going to a better place, or maybe even I can choose where I want to go, stay here for a bit longer as a spirit maybe... I don't know. I am not religious, but do believe in some sort of god. So i do pray and believe me it does help calm you down (this is coming from a non-religious person).
I also have experienced sleep paralysis in the past but do not anymore. the 5 times it happened were so scarry i couldn't move and i felt like i was dying going into a light and i had a choice to die or stay alive and i couldn't snap out of those "paralysis" episodes for sometimes 40 minutes. Very vivid, felt like there was an evil presence and i couldn't move at all or cry for help. i haven't had one of them for awhile but whenever those episodes happened whenever i started praying to god, i "snapped out" of the episode within 15 seconds after i pray! That was a confirmation to me that there is good and evil in this world, and that there is a heaven. But then we go into having hell scare me but that's rarely the occasion. Keep up ur faith, it helps!!!!
Sorry i got into my life story a bit, Just excited to share and feel im not alone in feeling this way and wanted to share a bit about my experiences.
And if anyone needs or wants to contact me just to talk about anything feel free to. write.***@****
So glad i'm not alone, I am constantly checking myself because i think i have cancer and i'm going to die, any ache or pain i get i think its cancer, or a heart attack or a stroke. The list goes on, but mainly i think its cancer. It's really bad because I actually have a bad back, and been to the doctors many times over the last 15 years because of it and now over the last 6 months i'm thinking these pains are something more serious, even though the doctors keeps telling me it isn't. But it's not just my health.
It's got so bad that I don't like to go out unless it's to the cinema or for a meal and never anywhere busy or a city center, because I think anything could happen.
I was at the doctors today because of some other things and was going to speak to him about how i was feeling but didn't because I felt silly about it.
Hi im also 22 i though i wAs the only one feeling this way I used to get this when i was smAller but lately ive been so stressed and deppressed and have been on this all over i feel horrible! Idk what to do i feel like im crazy and no one understands me ive been having problems with my fiance he doesnt understand how it feels and it makes it way worse feel like ima faint and i m getting a headache should i see a doctor? Can i get something for this? Why does this happen??
I have also expirianced that vertigo feeling which i thought was strange as i never got it in the past but must be another symptom of anxiety. So many symptoms come with anxiety wow. Hope your feeling better,
I have a fear I dying as well, I fear riding in a card or some weird reason, I fear that I'm having a heart attack!!! I fear so many things that I really get upset & my pulse can go up
To the 200's! I'm not taking
Pulse medicine, I also take Klonpin, ambien for
Sleep & remaron for depression!! I've had it mostly after my 2nd daughter. I am now 31 & 5 months pregnant & they want to cut me off my meds. I'm freaking out. The last pregnancy when they did I ended up in the hospital for 5 days before going to a rehab where they have me prescriptions anyways. What is wrong with doctors that they don't understand I have HORRIBLE anxeity & I have to take medicine!!!!
Yes I am getting over an anxiety thing I believe now. Was diagnosed bipolar when I was younger and came to realize that the fear of death when I was younger was caused from the anxiety from my bipolar. Not told this directly but I've done some research. I consider myself religious but I'm finding my way to become baptized. Haven't done it yet but in getting there. But, I do pray to God every night.. I try to anyways BC I'm 22 yrs old now and I've had 4 babies back to back since 2010. Was on lithium when I was younger which helped but I hated all the blood draws n didn't know I had to watch so many things such as salt intake and what not.... But, 2010 when I got pregnant with my first child I stopped medication all together. N just about a month ago maybe going on two months now I find my anxiety has started again. Got into a therapist and seen the Dr at my therapist n he put me on kolonopin .5 mg as needed which helped with the anxiety but I still doesn't feel right like I did when I was on lithium. So, I have only taken it once a week in the 6 wks he's prescribed it to me. N I've tried everything n different techniques to calm my anxiety. My therapist says that since I came there willingly n since I hadn't had a problem with anxiety for 4 yrs that I don't have to be on medicine. But, I just want my anxiety to go away but in scared of the side effects of medicines n I don't want to have to change my lifestyle for medicines to work right like I have to with lithium. I cry sometimes into my fiancee chest and always say," why am I still going through this? It didn't last this long when I was younger. When I was younger I cried til I was tired n feel asleep and it went away. (this was before I started taking lithium) I too have been told by gynecologist, cardiologist,ER doctor, "that my heart, lungs, and overall health is good." Except I haven't been to a family Dr for 4 yrs. Trying to find one though. But, tonight I've cried a little and prayed to God to help me get through this, stop the devil from continuing this anxiety within me, and so much more" trying to get some sleep because I've got to get up in 4 hours to get my daughters up for school. I've lost so far when my anxiety was really bad last month 20 lbs in two weeks BC of the lump in my throat sensation and thinking I'm going to choke. Losing weight doesn't concern me too much because after I had my 4th baby 3 months ago I weighed 209 lbs and I'm getting married this August. Most of my days now are mild attacks like while forcing myself to eat. But when I eat it's just like a few bites then I'm full. (this is a little concerning). But, when I look back into last month when this all began im doing better and I feel I'm bettering my relationships and trying to live a slightly better lifestyle. I go out in public, I get better sleep, mostly now, but I'm always feeling like I'm making preparations for my death... The only thing I have an issue with is smoking cigarettes n I've only done that consistently for 2 yrs. I even keep a journal now. But, I'm still wondering if the drs made a mistake or did I not get an in detail overview of my body that I'm possibly missing something or didn't do one test n that would be the reason I died. Very scary, I'm just tired, I've been fighting for so long, n just want my life back. I know it's probably my anxiety since a few drs said, "I'm otherwise to young and healthy n that I'm not dying." But it's constant and I just want to get back to normal... Suggestions anybody???!!!
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