fear of skin cancer...

[cnote]

this sounds dumb, but i suffer from anxiety. i've been doing soooo good with no anxiety episodes for about 7-8 months now! until a few days ago...

about 7 days ago or more, overnight, i developed this little red circle under my left eye... it's smaller than a pencil eraser.. very small... it didnt bother me at 1st, i just thought it was dirt in my pores, or allergy, or a zit? so i didnt even think about it for a few days, then i noticed it as i got out of the shower, and said to my wife "man, is this thing going to ever go away?" and from that point on ive been OBSESSED with it... ive been looking at it everyday, about 5 times a day if not more... ive been putting hydrocortozone cream on it everymorning and every night before bed... and it is looking better... i did notice the other day before i was putting any cream or moisturizer over it, it was kinda dry looking... like a little bity circle of dry skin....

but ive just been looking at it so much... that im convinced its skin cancer.. and of course,... i started researching different types of skin cancer and i keep telling my wife it looks like it could be a tiny tiny little thing of basal cell or squamous cell skin cancer... and my wife knows me.. and she knows i suffer from anxiety and i syke myself out all the time.... and i do this to myself...  so she told me "honey, just leave it alone, and don't worry about a little skin blemish! it could be a zit, it could be allergies.... quit assuming its cancer all of a sudden! you always think the worst."

and she is totally right, i do think the worst about everything... and that's prob. why i'm freaking out over this little bity tiny thing. lol.

during the day when im outside... you can' even see it barley now... but after a hot shower, you can kinda see the light red circle... and its pretty much flat... but the skin kinda looks "scar" like skin.. .kinda smooth/stretched looking in this little spot...

i know im over analyzing...

im debating on going to the doctor just to get reassurance... but then again, at the same time, im nervous to see the doctor and have him tell me it is cancer.. (see there i go again expecting the worse.) and my wife also thinks im silly for going to see the doctor about this... she thinks sense it came on only a week ago or so... that i should just give it another week or 2 to see if it just goes away... and save a $50 copay to the doctor.


what do you guys think? does skin cancer like that usually just show up over night? or do you think its just an allergy possibly? or a zit that won't form a head? just irritated dry skin patch? am i just over analyzing? it's so small it's ridiculous.. but still..

if it is skin cancer and i just noticed it a week ago... would going another week or so (to see what it does)... would that harm me? can skin cancer spread that fast?


okay im done rambling...

thanks for listening.

[Emma82]

Sorry, I can't give you any insight into skin cancer, but I can assure you you're not alone in over-analyzing every little thing.  People with anxiety are very aware of their bodies and assume that every little ache and pain means disease, or at least I do.  I've gotten to the point before where I don't even want to take a shower, b/c I know I'll search my entire body, find some imperfection, run to the internet and assume the worst.  Then I'll freak out about it until I get yet ANOTHER doctor's appt, and then feel like a fool when I'm perfectly fine.  This isn't to say that you shouldn't go to the doc if you think there is something wrong with you, its just important to remind yourself that most of the time, its your anxiety thats making you ill.  I'd take your wife's advice, wait it out a few more days and then go to the doc if its still there.  As I said, I don't know anything about skin cancer, but I would think a couple of days would not make too much of a difference in terms of progession?  Try to keep your mind off it for a bit and I bet you'll see it improve.....this is easier said than done of course, and I'd be acting the exact same way as you!  Good luck either way and keep us posted.

[tara1414]

I can definitly relate as well. I do the same thing, always assuming the worst. I also do not know anything about skin cancer, but remember that people have all kinds of lumps, bumps, pimples, etc all over their bodies..I am almost certain that this will go away. Sometimes the only thing that gets me out of one obsession is another obsession. I also drive my husband crazy with all my little fears and obsessions and I know how you feel. Right now I am worrying about some med test results. I am having some womens health issues that are probably completely normal, but I already have myself believing the worst..
More and more people have anxiety and or depression these days..

[cnote]

Thanks so much both for your response.

Well, went to the Dr. today... he's not my original Dr. that I always see, b/c mine was booked solid today, but he's in the same office as my Dr., plus he's a family friend.

Anyways, my heart rate was 111 beats per minute! lol. I told him, it's just b/c I'm having anxiety over this etc.

He looked at it with one of those magnifier with a light in it type things... the ones that look in your hears and nose etc... and he said, "well, it's not cancer, I can tell you that. but what it is is called "terogdablablablabla".... (I have no idea what it's called lol., it's a long medical term)

But basically, it's just a little circle of blood vessels under the skin that have either become irritated or just expanded... and he said i also have one on my nose... he said it's very common and more than likely genetic... and he said not to worry... and that he could zap it off it I wanted him too... but he said it hurts like a "*****" haha. so i said i'll live with it. lol.

he also said it could go away eventually down the road. so that's all good news...

i'm still having a little anxiety... but NOTHING like I have been.

That 40 dollar copay was the best 40 bucks ive spent. A peace of mind is priceless. =)

Thanks again guys.

[Emma82]

I'm very happy for you that it turned out to be nothing.  And that you now have piece of mind.  Sometimes we get so consumed with our anxiety, that we forget how great it feels to just feel "normal".