finally its over

hello all, for all of you that have been helping me through until this wedding this weekend, well i am back home tonight. The wedding was nice, i had lots of little panic attacks, chest heaviness the whole time, but what really gave me a bad panic attack was when they showed the slide show and not one picture of me in the pictures, This is my family and the other 2 bridesmaids were my cousins they were in every picture, and the bride was also my cousin. There was even a family picture in there, guess what not one picture of me, my husband or my son. I cried pretty much the whole way home. i hate feeling that my family dosn't care for me. Also the small town in Iowa had no hospital (freak out), but I made it home alive. Thanks for all your kind words, Im so tired of feeling like s***, i can't even go out of town any more without feeling like Im gonna die. Thanks for hearing me cyberfreak. have a great night.

[Raine9]

Congrats.  I am happy that it's finally over for you.  I'm sorry that your family did not include you in any pics.  That sucks!!  It would hurt me.   I feel that way about my husband's family.  At least his sister and brother.  I feel like they could careless about me.  If I were to die tomorrow, I doubt they would even notice.  So I could identify with ya.  At any rate, glad you have the wedding behind you.  

CYBERFREAK all you want (LOL)   We're here for you.

[bip]

CONGRAT!!!! You must be happy it's over.  My moving would of been over but tomorrow hopefully it will be over with so I can be happy again......... I hope everything is ok with you.

[Mozartcowgirl]

YOU DID IT!!  hey.. about the whole family thing.. that really sucks.. do you think telling them how you feel would help you out? not sure that would even help though.. i have the same situation..im the black sheep.. heck.. even when my dad died.. i was told not to bother too show up.. ( i did though..)  they said it was because it was too far away.. lol yeah right.

but listen!! .. YOU DID IT!! You went outside your comfort zone!! if it had been my.. i would have freaked about not having a hospital where i was going..  
you should be patting yourself on the back.. YOU DID IT! even though it sucked..you did it!!

[tke5768]

thanks guys i really appreciate the kind words, and bip I was freaking out like you were, and i hope tomarrow comes quickly, and smoothly. I really think i need to try medication again. I just don't think I casn handle the stress that is keeping me from living a good life. I have a 3 yr old that needs a happy life, and deserves it. I am so scared to get close to him for fear of loosing him. i know that sounds crazy, but I can't help it. I am so afraid to die, or to have the people I love so much die. Thanks for your concern, and I hope that your move goes ok. i wish I was there to help you. best of luck

[suzi-q]

You made it!  This is a big milestone!  Now you must continue to take small trips.  But now, to places you WANT to go to, not have to.

As far as your family goes, remember, you cannot control them or how they feel or what they do.  YOu have your own life to think about and it is their problem, not yours.  Advice a friend gave me, "Your opinion of me is none of my business."  Let it go..I know it is hard, but in your heart just forgive them for being so calous and mean-spirited.  Remember, living well is the best revenge!

[tke5768]

oh my girl that is so true, i need little words of encouragment. i still think of the post that you sent awhile ago about us getting together at a convention. That still cracks me up. Thanks for the kind words. Take care