how to beat the fear?

I have a fear always that I may touch something in the house that has body fluids on and then touch some food that I eat or drink and become infected with HIV. I have so much anxiety that I will become infected this way. I always wash my hands many times before I even eat or drink. I know there are sexual acts in my home and I am scared of coming into contact with body fluids. Any help would be nice.

[nowherechild]

Wear gloves.

[j204]

what kind of answer is that.

[greenlydia]

First thing I would STRONGLY recommend you do is get yourself educated as to just exactly how HIV is spread! I think you will be pleasantly surprised to learn it's actually quite difficult to contract. Google "HIV" and you will have your answers. Or hop on over to the AIDS forum and post your concerns there.

"nowherechild" is poking you with Mr.Gears infamous stick (teasing you) regarding wearing gloves............at least I hope they are. If not, then this person also needs to be Googled in more ways than one! Your fears may be unfounded, but they deserve to be taken seriously.
Good luck and rest easy tonight!
Peace
Greenlydia    

[greenlydia]

Your comment to j204 was really quite rude and uncalled for. Does your mother know you're playing on the computer?
Anyone who posts on this forum with a legitimate question, which this one was, deserves our respect and the best advice we can offer them.
Let's hope that if you ever return with a question of your own, it too will be answered with respect and compassion.
Now, go outside and play.
Greenlydia  

[j204]

thank you very much, greenlydia

i have read about hiv, but it makes me feel a little more scared about it. I know once outside the body the virus is not a risk. I am finding it hard to get on with my normal life I had before because of all this anxiety and fear I have. I don't know why but this fear came out of nowhere after I had oral sex and HIV test which was negetive, but the fear just won't leave me. Before all that I was fine.

[greenlydia]

Hey Toots,
Since you know the facts, why do you persist in this fear, especially since you've been tested and have come up negative? You have a clean bill of health and know what constitutes "risky" behavior. Solution? Don't engage in risky behavior! If you don't trust the results you got the first time, go ahead and get tested again, but this time you really must believe the results!
You say all this fear and anxiety came AFTER you had oral sex and your test was negative, but you just can't let go of the fear. Why do you suppose that is? I wish I could answer that for you. I'm sure you'd like me to, but the answer is inside YOU. If this anxiety is taking over your life, I would strongly urge you to speak to your doctor about it. They may be able to give you the answers I can't and they may possibly suggest you get some therapy to find the root cause of your inability to let this go, to accept that you are healthy and should be free of worry. Please seek some help for this, I can sense your fear and there is no reason on this earth you should be hauling that around with you! I again urge you to visit the AIDS/HIV forum and talk to the good folks over there. I can promise you that there are many others with the same concerns as yours and they would probably have some really great advice for you. But post here anytime your anxiety gets the better of you!
I wish you the very best and please keep us posted.
Peace
Greenlydia

[spade22]

"......I know once outside the body the virus is not a risk. "


This is absolutely, 100% correct.  For all intents and purposes the HIV virus does NOT survive outside its host or appropriate medium.

"I am finding it hard to get on with my normal life I had before because of all this anxiety and fear I have. I don't know why but this fear came out of nowhere after I had oral sex and HIV test which was negetive, but the fear just won't leave me. Before all that I was fine."

Your fears are completely unfounded and you have clearly developed an unreasonable phobia which steams from your "encounter".  Therapy would be an EXCELLENT place for you to begin your journey on the road to recovery.

[j204]

Thanks guys for the advice.

I think I need to try, I mean really try and get back to some kind of normality. If I am not doing anything risky then I am not at a risk for anything, right? I mean, 30 years living in this house and I have never got sick or anything. I think just bcz I am thinking about HIV now, my mind thinks I am going to get it by doing normal everyday things, which is crazy I know.

I really have to try starting tomorrow after a good night sleep I want my life back. If I am minding my own business I am not doing anything to risk my health.

[greenlydia]

You've got it my friend! If you don't engage in risky behavior, then you are NOT at risk! And touching a faucet or a doorknob or breathing the same air or a million and one other things is NOT risky behavior!
Are you living in the same house with someone who IS HIV positive? Or whom you suspect is? Those are very personal questions and please don't feel you have to answer. I was just wondering if your persistant fear is from this or the sexual encounter you had.
And your thinking is not "crazy." Maybe a bit obsessive, but work on that and if you can't do it alone, don't hesitate to seek some therapy. Sometimes our minds will grab onto something, like a dog with a bone and just won't let go until it's "trained" to obey its master. Which, by the way, is YOU!
By all means, get a good nights rest and begin fresh in the morning.
Let us know how you're doing, OK? We care.
Peace
Greenlydia  

[j204]

thanks greenlydia. you really make me feel a lot better with your encouraging words.

today i had a bath and didn't fear anything. I did clean the bath with hot water first but that's normal, right? And today I did not wash my hands as much. And I did have a nice chat about my anxiety today which helped a lot. I think this is the start of the recovery.

[greenlydia]

Thanks Hon........that's really sweet of you to say.
Good for you on the bath! Big step and I'm proud of you! The fact that you cleaned it with hot water is INCREDIBLY normal! I don't have your particular phobia, but before I'll sit MY rear in the tub after my famlies FEET have been in there, I use a LARGE bottle of "Beter Homes and Butts Industrial Strength Athletes Foot and Gawd Knows What Else" cleaner!
Also a high five for washing your hands less often! Another major step! You're doing great! AND a good chat about your anxiety...........hey wait a sec, pretty soon you're not gonna need me any more at all!
I too, think you have taken some very big steps on your journey! But never be afraid to ask for help if you should need it, OK?
Keep on keeping on!
Peace
Greenlydia

[j204]

by the way, great avatar. i love the witch from wizard of oz.

[Jade59]

Isn't Greenlydia the best?

[greenlydia]

That is NOT the witch from "The Wizard of Oz!" That is ME before my morning coffee!

[JSGeare]

As President of the greenlydia fan club, I thought I would throw in a couple of sticks.

Look at it this way: Matter of fact, there IS a lot of nasty stuff -on everything around us. But guess what? We routinely protect ourselves and fight that stuff off with the same ease that we blink our eyelids and breath. So, in other words, you are very protected just by your make-up (I mean the way you're put together, not the Mary Kay stuff).

If what I said is true (and it manifestly IS true) then your concerns, while targeted at the creepy crawlies, HIV and other teeny critters- come NOT from the experience of actual interaction with all that stuff, but rather from what you THINK about that stuff. No speculation here -them's are the facts. And so, corrective measures for your peace of mind will also take place in your noggin'. As the impeccable GL lady has said, the answer is IN you.

So, your next step is to explore why all this has a front row seat in your brain's press conference with yourself. There IS a reason (or reasons) which therapy can help you figure out. And, odd as this may sound, I believe the obsessive thoughts are a way you send messages to yourself -it is not, in and of itself, a BAD thing.  The data you're getting is like code -it stands for something else; figure out the code, and you've got something!

For the here and now, why not keep in touch on a daily basis or keep a journal here on Medhelp? You can start each entry with, "Well, gang, I'm still here and things seem to be OK..." and go from there.

And while you're at it, why not REALLY join the club. After all, we are all here because we all have or had SOMETHING strange going on. Join up. Here's how: just click the Join Link -enter some profile information about yourself -even a picture if you care to- and anything you think would help us get to know you faster and better, and you can change this material whenever you like. You will also be accessible to receive private messages when other members click the name you've given yourself -sort of a "push to talk" feature. After you've done that, spend some time just using various features of the forum. For example, to see all the posts or responses that someone has made, just click their handle, go to their profile, click Posts, and read to your heart's content. You may also enter search terms -including member names- in the search box at the upper right of your screen and the system will retrun everything matching the term(s) you entered. This INCLUDES a drug database that will give you both user posts about drugs as well as the medical information about the drug. A great way to get quick answers about therapeutic effect, side effects, interactions, etc.

One of the profile categories is your mood, which you may change anytime you like.

Along the right side of your screen is a section of Recent Activity, which not only alerts you to new posts, but new ANYTHING, including journal entries and mood. This is a way to telegraph the community at large without actually creating a separate post. Thus, if you see a friend's mood has changed while you are working on a response or post, it can alert you to send them a private message to learn more or simply let them know you're thinking of them. Likewise, if you are going to be "out," you could enter something like "off line for the night" as your mood, and people would know you're away from the forum for awhile.

"My Medhelp" is where you'll find all the features you can deploy: messaging, lists of friends, photos, etc.

At upper-right you'll also see Health Pages -a section of reference material built up by the members themselves. It is a work in progress and all are free to contribute to it.

If you do this kind of exploring and experimenting right away, you'll be up-to-speed quickly. If you see the message you are reading now as part of a direct response I (or anyone) has made to one of your posts, it was probably copied and pasted from this journal. I hate form letters and auto-responses as much as anyone -but I also hate forgetting to tell people what they need to know, so this is my safety-net. Consider it as part of your "Welcome" kit. So -please join and try things out.

You might also want to read my entries for the "Right Click Trick" and "When in Haste, Use Copy 'n Paste" for some other convenient time-savers.

We're glad you are here!