husband has had a nervous breakdown

[mlajl]

Was wondering if there was  place here I could get help with understanding  my husbands anxiety and stress etc.. he has had a nervous breakdown from 2 years of, well, hell... one huge nightmare after another.. it would honestly take for ever to list all what he has dealt with the last two years.. he shakes alot.. and crys.. he struggles. Any help on what I may be able to do? We have 3 toddlers and a teen.. I'm stuggling to make sure they don't upset him. Everything upsets him right now.. which that can't be helped.. any advice or anything I may be able to pass on to him that might help???  Anything I can do? Or not do? Any help would be greatly appreciated!

[lcram]

Just read this thread. How are you and your husband doing mlajl?

[mlajl]

Thank you LRon.. I'll try them.. all :)

[mlajl]

I was simply using the term "nervous breakdown" I figured it explained everything in its self.. like I said.. I'm just looking for a way to make things easier on him..

[mlajl]

Doctor said he simply burned out, a mental break..  called it a manic episode. A bad one..

[mlajl]

Nervous breakdown is a easier term.. he was diagnosed oeth PTSD , anxiety disorder, adhd.. he has had tons of stress.. he came off his ritalin because he thought it was making him jumpy.. doc said it was the worst thing he could of done because he took his ability t think away.. at the worst possible time.. nervous breakdown , burned out, reached his limit etc.

[LRon]

One big thing you can do for him is help him move on. Prevent him from sitting and ruminating on things. Keep his mind active and occupied on the here and now, not on troubling events in the past. Plan a vacation. Begin a home improvement project. Begin an exercise program together. Cook meals together. And lots of passionate sex is a terrific distraction, just sayin. ;-)

[Paxiled]

I don't know what diagnosis you got, but there's no such thing as a nervous breakdown.  That's a Hollywood term, not medical.  A medical diagnosis would be depression or anxiety, GAD, PTSD, something like that.  Treatment would be therapy, and therapy differs depending on the diagnosis -- some therapists specialize in anxiety, most don't, for example -- most are just glorified relationship counselors -- and if necessary medication, such as antidepressants.  Good luck.

[mlajl]

I guess, after rambling, I know what my husband needs to do.. but what do I need to do or not do? I have read others on here worried about their spouses leaving them. My husband is very aware I'd never do that. I know he would never leave me.. we where best friends first.. and have been married happily, no fussing or fighting for 20 years this may..support he has in spades with me... I know what a doctor tells u. But I want to know from a sufferer what they would need from a spouse? what would help them? how can I make this easier on him? I have no idea what to tell him when he asks me if it will ever get any better....as a wife watching, what would be the best thing I could do? How to handle him without denting his pride? Or if im accidentally causing more stress? He should not be embarrassed .. the man has been strong for to long..  I admire my husband.. he is a cool guy.. strongest man I know!

[mlajl]

He see's a psychologist and a therapist both once a week.. he almost was hospitalized.. they gave him a week to calm down.. sent me home with him tranquilizers.. he slept for almost the whole week. He woke up feeling better.. still suffered shakes though.. it's a big difference today from 4 weeks ago.. much better.. just hard to see a man I've been married to for 20 years fall apart.. I mean, he earned it.. he has had to deal with alot the last two years.. it just kept adding up, I watched him slowly break apart.. he finally went when he came he from seeing his brother.. he wouldn't stop washing his hands.. they bled he washed them so much..he hasn't been washing his hands anymore that I know of..

[mlajl]

Yes. I took him in when the shakes started.. he had to identify and claim his brothers body.. this threw him over the edge.. I took him in asap.. he was diagnosed with a nervous breakdown. He was watched closly.. he is doing better on meds.. and excersiing etc.. shakes have gotten better.. he gave us a list of things to help him.. but I wanted to ask someone who may have gone through it for their advice.. everyone is different and different things may help..  I worry I hoover him to much, or not enough.. I really want to understand how to help him as a wife here at home.. what may help, what other found to help.. my husband sees a therapist once a week now.. it's been scary for sure.. anything that may help me heal.. etc..

[LRon]

I hope that your husband has been seeing a therapist on a regular basis. If yes, you need to let his therapist know that he has had a nervous breakdown. If no, job one for Monday is getting him in to see a psychologist. But in the meantime, if he truly has had a nervous breakdown, you should consider having him hospitalized. Hopefully he will do so voluntarily, but if not you may need to petition for him to be hospitalized.

Whatever the case, let your husband know he has your unconditional love and support, and that together you will both get through this.

Spring Break is coming up. Pack up the family and get away, if possible.