i am terrified

I had protected sex with a man about two weeks ago
I contracted genital herpes from him from I believe Oral sex (which was unprotected)
I am so scared that I have something much worse like HIV
I am going in to get my test tomorrow and I am just having panic attacks over it because I have no idea what I would do if it came out positive. I cannot sleep I cannot breathe. It might even be too soon to tell tomorrow and i'll have to wait an additional 3 months to get tested again
Why did I do this

[jennylee286]

also I will say that this has been a humongous wake up call
never again will I have sex with anyone unless I am in a long term relationship and we have both been tested and protection is used absolutely every time
i probably wont even have sex again until marriage

[WorriedScared11]

its sad that sometimes we have to "learn our lesson" before we learn our lesson. try and maintain a positive attitude in the next 3 months. try not to let your head convince you that you have HIV. i lived with this fear for over a year and was too afraid to get tested. trust me that was the worst year of my life. after the test i felt a huge relief...and when i looked back on the past year i realized that stressing about somehting i didnt know for sure was completely useless. chances are you DO NOT have HIV. so stay calm, relax, take a break from sex...hang with your friends and try to find someone who you can talk to.

oh yah, drink lots of water...always helps with anxiety.

[jennylee286]

thank you

do you really think my chances are slim based on my scenario?
i mean i know there is always a risk but probability wise

[WorriedScared11]

about 1.2million people in the US have aids. the population of the US is 301million.

i think your chances are extremely slim.

try and put it out of your mind until you get tested. especially if you had protected sex. it is very hard to contract HIV orally (not saying its impossible) but the chances are lower than unprotected sex.

[JSGeare]

Relax. Your test will probably come back negative. Now, the KEY question si the one you posed yourself: "Why did I do this?"

So, if the incident has caused you to do some self-examination, it is a very good thing. One thing we know for sure, it has brought you to a panic condition. And that may be sort of like a "message in a bottle" that gives you some hint as to why.

Please stay in touch to let us know how the tests came out -and what new insights you now have -about you.

And I would turn down any more dates with the gentleman who left the calling card.

[jennylee286]

that wont be a problem! Infact i'm not even going to think about men for a really long time.
I actually think the herpes came at a good time (which is not to say i'm glad I have it, I would do anything to get undo it) but I think I was headed on a dangerous and self destructive path that I feel will now be changed. I just hope that it's not a life sentence and I don't have anything much worse which is why i'm so afraid of the HIV.

[WorriedScared11]

lets just say for now...YOU DO NOT HAVE HIV!

please stop scaring yourself...like i said before i did it to myself for a year. and i look back and think to myself how stupid that actually was...i was worried about having a life threatening disease which i never had. I could have been thinking about so many better things like fishing on a calm sunny day alone on a flat lake.

until you have a doctor tell you to your face you have HIV...please dont assume that you do. this will send you into a downward spiral and will eventually lead to some things you will forever regret.

[JSGeare]

No one -absolutely NO ONE- learns except by personal experience -either their own, or that of someone they trust. And so, in addition to saving yourself from a possibly very grim future, you are in a position to impart your experience to others.

Good for you, Jenny Lee. Take good care of yourself, love yourself as well as you would wish others to love you -and carry your message to others.

And stay in touch, OK?

[jennylee286]

thank you sir
i appreciate the kind words in this troubling time

i really appreciate this forum as reading the stories of others has given me some hope in dealing with the HSV virus

it'll be a rough road ahead but better this than something much worse

[JSGeare]

There is also a herpes forum on Medhelp. You might want to check it out as well. It is very important to get a really solid medical baseline as to the HSV and your over-all health. You'll get the upper hand, Jenny, you really will, if you act as your own strongest advocate.

And yes, you may also think about what, emotionally, brought you to where you are now. As you work on this, the road will get smoother.

I promise.