i dont feel real

[taraak]

for the last few days, I have felt very "unreal".  thats all I can say to explain it.   i am OCD with severe panic disorder.  all day, its like white noise in the back of my mind, this unreal feeling, and me, trying to figure out "what I am".  does anyone understand?   I also see this unrealness in other people.  like Im projecting or something.  since Im obsessive, this leads to ridiculous questions in the back of my mind.  feeling like just a piece of meat.  very unhuman or something.   anyone?

[taraak]

is there truly an end to this suffering, as Greenlydia said?  I had a panic attack last night because I wanted to shake myself awake from the dream I was in,  but I was already awake.  I havent had a bad panic attack like that in YEARS.

[kikipartidge]

When I've felt "unreal" I can only describe it as feeling like a 2 dimensional black and white cut-out of myself, propped up in a real, oxygen breathing, full color spectrum world. During those times, everyone else looks happy, normal and I have this intense longing to be like them, even if it's a stranger at the grocery store.  I then get so freaked out I begin crying and then have to isolate so know one sees me.  I am then unconsolable.  It's the randomness of this that is so frightening.  Please know you're not at all alone.

~Kiki

[br2509]

I have the same problem i always feel like i am not here i guess its the derealzation it scares me and makes me feel so weird but i am getting a little better with it .Just makes you feel very strange mine is at night i start feeling weird and feeling like i am not here and seems like i see things on the wall freaks me out then i t will go away....

[taraak]

oh, most definitely im going to mention it to him.  lol.  this is crazy!.  Ive felt like this in the past,  but only for a short time... minutes, or hours... the next day I wake up, feeling normal and not even thinking about it and life went on.  this time... its been 4 days.   Ive been reading about it though,  and I do know Im not going to die.  Im not going to go insane... thanks for you thoughts.

-Trace

[RubyWitch]

I know you wrote this to amish, but I just wanted to say that even if you must make a note to remind yourself at your next therapy session, your p-doc absolutely must know about this! He is the ONE person who can help you deal with it!
I'm hoping that amish can give you some advice on how to get through the next two weeks until your session. I've personally only experienced depersonalization during a panic attack and have never, fortunatley, had to deal with it long term. It must be horrible and I'm sorry you are going through this.
Stay strong.
Peace
Greenlydia    

[taraak]

Ive had this feeling in the past.   it usually blows over, but this time it feels like its sticking around. it started this time when I got some news that made me a little emotional.   I have a psychiatrist appointment in 2 weeks.  I havent mentioned it to him in the past, because I havent felt this way when Ive actually gone to see him, so its sort of out of mind, out of sight...  you know?   Im just looking for a little support to get me through the next 2 weeks.   going through life feeling like nothing matters, yet still KNOWING it does, and having to get done what needs to be done, is hard.

[RubyWitch]

I think what you're experiencing is an episode of derealization/depersonalization. You feel in a dreamlike state, that the world is not quite "real." It has many nasty manifestations. Since you have already been dx'd with OCD and severe panic disorder, I would strongly urge you to talk to your doctor about this.
Most of us on this forum can understand perfectly what you're feeling and there is help for it.
Please contact your doctor and end your suffering.
Peace
Greenlydia

[amish1979]

Depersonalization is very common in those with anxiety/panic disorders.  I personally experienced it for about 4 months straight.

Projecting it onto others might be a result of your OCD.  Have you seen or are you seeing a therapist?  They can give you lots of helpful tools to deal with these feelings of unreality.

It is VERY common so don't be afraid that you are losing your mind or anything that severe.  It's just another one of those crappy symptoms of what we have.  A therapist can teach you how to pull yourself back into reality as needed.  It worked like a charm for me.

Good luck!