i hate my life

im in my room
in darkness
and cold
im thinking of comitting suicide

im always alone
and never having any fun
im thinking of commiting suicide

i run away from home
im nowere to be found
im thinking of commiting suicide

i have the knife in my hand
and this note in the other
im thinking of commiting suicide

now that im alone
with the knife to my chest
im about to commit suicide

i say my last words
'this was fate and goodbye'
im about to commit suicide

i have my last breath
and im now dead
i have just commited suicide

is this **** hole worth it.

[molyba]

That's a great poem.  I know how you feel.  I've been there myself.  Lately it seems to be a battle for me to keep from getting back there.  I wish I could offer some advice that might help.  For me it took therapy and medication and a good support group.  That's what this site is for.  It takes time, but things do get better, nobody can change overnight.     Sincerely,   Molyba

[Heather3418]

Kidd Man,

Try to think of things this way....

Once you commit suicide and you go to Heaven (yes I think you do go to Heaven) I believe that you are given a chance to see everything that was to happen in your future, had you decided to stay in this life.

You get to see all the wonderful things that would have happened in your life.  Sure there will also be down moments.  But imagne what may be in your future, Kidd.  A beautiful wife, precious children, happiness with your loved ones.  Really good times that you cannot see now, because you are in such a deep, dark place.

What I believe will happen once you get to see your future as it would have been, is that you will be so sad once you are shown all the GOOD things that WERE suppose to happen in your life ...that you beg the Creator for just ONE MORE CHANCE to go back to your life on Earth.  One more choice to be able to experience all those joyous times.  You're sorry, you tell the Creator...you just want to go back.  You just want to go back and enjoy all the great things you will miss, because you have decided to commit suicide.

Will you be given a chance to go back?  No, because "Kidd,' suicide is PERMANENT.  You don't get a second chance.  You are now sad because you see what you life on Earth would have provided for you.  But in a moment of weakness, you chose the easy way out, by taking your own life.  You cry to go back to Earth when you see the pain you have caused your family and friends, because you decided you didn't want to live one more day.  You see your family weeping uncontrollably.  No one can console them, their son, their grandson, their best friend...is now gone from them.  The pain they feel is unbearable....all because you didn't give LIFE another chance.  You didn't see any way out.

'Kidd' there ARE better days ahead.  You just can't see past your pain of today and KNOW that one day, you DO have a bright future.  Whenever you feel like you cannot take another day on this Earth, promise yourself that you will give it one more...ONE MORE DAY...

Trust me "Kidd' I HAVE been where you are.  Please believe me...I HAVE BEEN THERE.  It's the loneliness place to be.  Not feeling that you have any hope for a happy future.

Had I done, what you are now considering...Suicide...do you know what "I" would have lost?  I would have lost the greatest and most joyous love I have ever known.  I would have never felt the gentle touch of the people I love.  I would not have seen my grandchild become a father himself.  I would have missed out on so much living.  Living that I didn't think was possible in my darkest hour.

But you know what "Kidd," I gave it ONE MORE DAY...and then ANOTHER DAY and then another....It wasn't long before those feelings of wanting to end of life, turned into rays of sunshine, hope and love.  It took work, but I did achieve happiness.  It wasn't handed to me, I had to work for it.  Now, I am able to tell you my friend, I am SO THANKFUL that I gave it ONE MORE DAY...

With much Love and prayers,
Heather

P.S.  I'm here for you sunshine man...I've been where you are and I MADE IT...so can you.