is it me?

[crackedglass]

Am I one of the few who has had no luck with doctors, hospitals or therapists? I've been suffering from anxiety disorders since I was a child, started getting treatment in my late teens but was always surprised that the whole lot of them seem to regard me as the proverbial elephant the blind men are trying to describe. One doctor gets so fixated on my thyroid imbalance that he tells me my symptoms will go away with thyroid treamtment. They don't, he sends me to a psychiatrist who talks to me for 10 minutes, very nice man, puts me on meds for 6 weeks that do nothing. He sends me to a cognitive therapist who listens but never comments other than politely agreeing or nodding knowledgeably (sp?). I go to another therapist who talks constantly about her patients. Meanwhile my thyroid is still off balance so I get sent to specialists for the symptoms such as uncontrollable vomiting and headache pain and fatigue. While in the hospital being treated with anti-vomiting drugs intravenously I wasn't aware they stopped my xanax and I was having withdrawal symptoms and am so anxious I'm crying uncontrollably. They call in the staff psychologist who listens to my anxiety complaints for a few minutes then says I'm having an anxiety attack and told me I'd calm down as soon as I got out of the hospital. Five days later a nurse realized that my xanax had been stopped and figures she should point that out to the doctor. I hope I dont sound angry, because I'm not, if anything, I feel very guilty that it is always my fault that I can't seem to get proper treatment because I have thyroid problems that have never responded to thyroid meds normally. Phew...that brings me to another question, how can I feel valuable and worthy when I'm such a hormonal mess? I read that I should have feelings of having value and worth, but I can't feel those things, I feel I have such difficult hormonal problems that I make it impossible for doctors to find a treatment for me. At least I have my xanax to take when I start hating myself for being such a mess. Thank God for that. I just wish I could muster some sense of self-esteem. I'm one of the few people I know who doesn't have even a shred of self-worth. I sometimes wonder if my total lack of self-esteem is so evident that doctors don't want to get involved...and then I really get stressed and anxious because I'm my own worst enemy. I couldn't work, my husband has insurance but I had so many medical procedures done, and saw so many doctors that I maxed out my credit cards with co-pays. Ok, sorry to rant on, thanks for being there.....

[optimus22mac]

Hi...I am fairly new to this, but I wanted to at least respond to you:)
I do not know too much about thyroid except for the fact that there are multiple blood tests to take for them, one of which the doctors sometimes overlook...forgive me though, I do not remember which it is.
As far as anxiety and depression, have you ever been on one of the SSRI's? I had many feelings of low self-worth and low self-esteem, and paxil has been a life saver...
As far as hormones, I've also dealt/am dealing with a hormone mess myself for years, but it has to do with my uterus, and problems with it, and my hypersensitivity to certain hormones...and hormones do tend to complicate things don't they!
I probably haven't answered any of your questions, just wanted to let you know that someone was listening...

[Paxiled]

I'd be careful before trying Paxil.  Difficult med.  But if it's your thyroid, I'm a little confused as to why an endocrinologist hasn't been able to properly regulate it.  Is it hyper or hypo?  Do have a named disease, like Graves?  You might want to go over to the thyroid forum for some help.  The thyroid can cause every symptom you describe, so if you know it's off, getting on antidepressants and antianxiety drugs won't solve anything, only getting your thyroid right will.  And realize that doctors are idiots.  Very poorly educated, and insurance doesn't allow them to spend enough time with you.  What you need is a specialist who can get the thyroid in balance, and if it's hypo, perhaps a holistic nutritionist to get you the proper amount of iodine in your diet.