is this depersonalization?

[blondie706]

I can remember everything that i do it just feels like i didn't really do those things after the fact. I can remember my past but i feel so disconnected from the memories. Like when I look at pictures it doesn't seem like I was really there. It's like I have lost myself, and i'm just going through the motions. This by far the worst thing of all. Has anyone else had this experience? It's my second day of zoloft and im hoping that itll kick in soon, especially with the clonzapem helping it along

[mjbrown]

this sounds very much like depersonalization / unreality. during my previous breakdown, i experienced this all the time. i could have an hour-long conversation with someone and feel like i wasn't really there. i felt like i was already dead or outside of my body or something. it lasted about 2 months for me. it is a common symptom of both anxiety and depression. the medication will take a while to start working, but the depersonalization / unreality will go away once the anxiety and depression start to lift. are you seeing a therapist? if not, therapy should help a lot with this feeling. your therapist can give you exercises you can do to feel "connected" with your environment and your body.

[greenlydia]

If these feelings of derealization/depersonalization are happening ALL THE TIME, in my humble opinion, you need to seek psychiatric help immediately. Nearly all of us with anxiety/panic issues and disorders experience these feelings once in awhile, to feel that way constantly is indicitive of a much more serious disorder. Please contact your doctor as soon as possible and get yourself out of this nightmare.
Let us know how you're doing, OK? Get the help you need!
Peace
Greenlydia

[mjbrown]

Greenlydia is right. I did not experience the depersonalization all the time. It came and went throughout the day... and got better as time went on. A constant prolonged state of depersonalization might be something more than just anxiety. Definitely talk to your dr. about it.

[blondie706]

Thanks for the replies,

What else could it be? I am aware of what is reality so I know its not schizophrenia and my psych doesn't think its bi polar as I took the screening for that. I'm not sure what else is out there to cause this?

[greenlydia]

If your psych is out of ideas, that's not so real good! I'm not a doctor so have no idea what other conditions may cause you to feel this way. Have you had a really good medical work-up recently? This is JUST a guess, but I wonder if it could be something like your thyroid being out of whack or some vitamin/mineral defencincy.............I'd say discuss this much deeper with your psych and see who he would recommend you consult with since he's apparently at a loss. Maybe a neurologist? An endo? An eye doctor? Wish I had a better answer..............well, I wish I HAD an answer, but hopefully someone else here does. If schizophrenia and bi-polar have been ruled out, it's my guess you're looking at some kind of inbalnce or perhaps an intolerance to a med your taking? (Go back and read where I wrote "GUESS!")
Good luck........I know how terrifying those feelings are.
Peace
Greenlydia

[mjbrown]

I see no reason not to trust your psychiatrist's diagnosis. Depersonalization is very common with anxiety and depression. Depersonalization disorder is a chronic form of this symptom. However, depersonalization is usually the result of other psychiatric conditions: anxiety, depression, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, etc. Or medical conditions: migraines, or brain tumor (very rare - and not something you should worry about given your history of anxiety and the lack of physical symptoms). Continue to speak to your psychiatrist about the unreality feelings. He/she will be in the best position to help you understand what is going on.

[bosnianworrier]

I have it and had it for long time. My brother got rid of it.

What causes it? Any mental illness can cause it. Most often anxiety and stress. Like someone mentioned above most of us had to deal with it one way or another.

Other causes are rare but they can be neurological, drug induced etc.

Oh yea if u smoked marijuana it can cause it.

[crackedglass]

Oh, I hate when that unreality thing is happening. I've gotten lost in my house, which isn't really big enough to get lost in...what a horrible feeling. When things are calm I'm suffering from that detached feeling, but if something happens that is urgent, like a sick dog (I've been living with just dogs and hubby for last 20 years), I come back to reality. If not, when all is smooth sailing, I lose touch with the recent past, present and have to put up post it notes to remember anything that isn't on my written schedule. I feel anxious about being this honest, but keep reminding myself that this group has anonymity, so total honesty, no matter how bizarre, is fine. I never speak of such things around anyone who is not a sufferer.

[blondie706]

the most horrible thing is looking at pictures. i look at all these great times and feel so detached, it makes me so depressed.