maybe i should just give up

Well I went to get a physical yesterday. Asked them about a if i should take a hiv test. Told them that I had recieved to negatives with the ora quick advance hiv1/2 antibody test with oral fluid test. They said that I should take a actual hiv blood test. Now I feel like those negatives mean nothing and that Im gonna get up being positive regardless of those 2 test. My high risk exposure was 2 years ago and the test was very recent. I feel like my negatives meant nothing. I pray that this test is negative too. I cant do nothing but sit and stare at the wall just thinking how am I going to react with they tell me its postive.

[mithras]

Hey, hang in there...i am in the same boat you are..waiting on blood tests can be so nerve wrecking. SO SCARY. If you have had 2 negative tests already than you should be ok! keep us posted

[aprilr]

dont just give up more than likely it will be negative and even if its not dont act like its the end of the world you can fight it with all the new medications so dont feel bad its life and you cant change what has happened but you can make it better by having a better out look just think more than likely it will be negative and if not you will make it and fight it

[suzi-q]

The doctor's HAVE to follow through with an official blood test if you so request.  They were not with you when you did your own test.  They do not know if you followed all the directions correctly etc....they need to do it in their controlled environment...I know that you are scared...I was terrified of HIV without ANY exposure at all at one time!!!  All part of my anxiety and irrational behavior.  Just try to breathe easy and try to keep positive....remember, all things are on your side right now!!!  You have 2 negatives!  Third will be a charm!

[Topher7]

I agree with suzi-q. I haven't been in that spot but from what I've been through with this other stuff I understand that you think this might end up being a cruel joke or karma, etc after 2 negative tests. However, the docs are just doing what they have to do and are following protocol. When I was sick for real..with my heart problem..I hated doing echocardiograms because the nurse couldn't tell you any results and you just had to wait.

[bip]

My husband boss was so scared of having HIV he lost blood cause he has problems they gave hin some blood. A week later he got a phone call told him the blood they gave him was HIV postive he couldn't believe he waited 6 months for that test and it came out negative. You are going to be fine. Keep us posted...

[Lanna01]

I will try to keep everyone posted but right now all I can think is that I had 2 false negatives with oral fluid test and the blood it gonna get it positive. I pray I dont have hiv. I wish it was friday already but its not and im going crazy waiting.I keep thinking if the first test didnt get it the second one would but now i think they both did even tho it was way after the window period. I will let everyone know the results on friday if there good and if not then I dont know what.

[workhater]

You know how irrational we are sometimes is just ridiculous. A few years ago I had surgery on a sprained ankle and had to take an HIV test prior to surgery. A few year later when I developed this anxiety / OCD thing is was certain that the test came back postitive and the doctor just didn't tell me that because he is an orthopedic surgeon. I was so sure that I called his office and asked the nurse. I'm sure she thought I was nuts but explained to me that he would have told me. Still, part of my mind thought she was not correct. And somebody please tell me why do we all think we have essentially the same diseases such as brain tumors, HIV, lupus, and heart conditions. Maybe because of the plethora of symptoms. I wish one day maybe I could just have a touch of hay fever or something. hahahah

[bip]

You are going to be fine.. Just say to yourself it's going to be negative Postive thinking is good. Do you know most of the time we worry and it turns out to be nothing... Think postive. Let us know friday...

[Very_confused]

Man another day of waiting and im getting so very depressed. What is the rate of false positives on a hiv blood test???? I cant stand my life no more. maybe Ill take a pill so that I can sleep. I feel so lost right now and I hate this s.h.i.t. I also want to thank everyone who is commenting on my issue. Your all truely great and I hope everything works out well or all of us. Man I got a headach from hell and tylenol just isnt doing it.

[Very_confused]

Sorry thats was posted in the wrong forum my bad

[Lanna01]

OH god the lab called earlier and i didnt hear the phone ring **** my are they calling me my appointment wasnt until tommorrow ....This is a bad sign i know its gonna be positive oh my god my chest hurts i cant stand this and to top it off the phone just died i have to wait to call them i dont know what to do i know its positive now since they called me they didnt say they would call. I bet they called cuz now they need to confirmation of another test oh my god why is this happening i know i ****** up but i dont wanna have a disease for it. This is the most outta control that I have ever been ****. **** ****!!!!!!!!!!! I wish the phone would charge quicker

[heartfluttersflyawayplz]

wow if you dont chill out your not going to die from hiv your going to have a heart attack. you need to stop it get a hold of yourself. if i let my anxiety go like yours i would end up in a insane home. try and get it together . think positive, you had two test that were good . i hope you have family or friends that can be with you . you need someone . you are going to see after all this that your ok and went through this for nothing. wait and see what they say than worry.

[Very_confused]

Just wanted to thank you all for all your help....I go and get my results in a few hours just really having some anxiety about it all. I hope its all negative i really want my life back only this time i wont be taking anything for granted no longer. Im trying to be calm but its so so at the moment. Waiting is no fun what so ever. I have to get a paxil prescription filled later this evening does anyone one know how this pill works. Worried a pill will not help me but im really hoping that it does. If i could have all your prayers that would be great cuz i really feel that I need them.Thanks again for all of your support.I hope everything turns out well for all of us.

[Very_confused]

Well im totally full of anxiety now i leave in like 30 or 40 minutes to go and get the results. I so damn scared im sick. Im sorry for constantly posting but this is all that i can do right now. God I hope those 2 ora quick advance oral fluid tests were right. I pray that they are....Im gonna meet my partner at the testing site there gonna go in with me. There have been so many signs that this is going to be positive. I understand I have a chance of not having it but its still very very scary. If it is truley negative i hope that i havent recieved a false positive or an indetermined result. Thanks guys for listening