std's anxiety problems

Hi:

About 6 weeks ago I cheated my wife. We've been togheter for almost 8 years and It's the first time I cheated on her. Anyway, I was worried about the std's and of course HIV. I went to the net and did  some research. Asked the necesary questions  to different experts and they all told me I was never at risk of contracting HIV and very low risk of other std's. I had unprotected sex with my wife after I was pretty sure there was nothing to worry about. A week after we had sex she had sore troath, fever and headaches, of course the first thing I thought was HIV. Since then I can't take away the fears and the anxiety. I have nobody to talk about this, I can't sleep and although I know the only way to calm me down is by doing me the necesary test I just can't think about it. I'm afraid that the tests come back positve. I don't know what to do, I know I have nothing to worry about and I know this is just guilt, but then and somehow this feelings come back to me and everything goes to hell. I'm going mad.

[CanuckGuy42]

sounds like you have HIV anxiety which is health related anxiety. I know because I had this and in my case it just grew and grew.. everytime I had a cold, or a flu or some weird spot show up on my skin... i went directly there... "that's it its Aids and I am dying".  Trust me it does not go away until you either convince yourself 100% you did nothing at risk of contracting the disease or you get tested. Which I did and it was negative.

Health anxiety is very powerful and you can actually "create" physical symptoms for diseases you "THINK" you have. And it grows as your fear feeds it.

So if it's really bothering you... go get an anonymous test done... they have tests now where you can get your results in 1 minute. Sounds like you have nothing to worry about in terms of the results but this way you will know for sure...and facing this stressor in your life and "anhilating it" will feel good...

As far as the guilt goes...only you and your understanding of your relationship dynamics can make the decision on how you deal with that.

[alternative_chicka]

my guess is you'll never do that again. I say you should get tested first and if its still nagging at you or positive then tell her. Women take cheating very seriously though, it is betrayel in her eyes.

[CanuckGuy42]

sounds like you have HIV anxiety which is health related anxiety. I know because I had this and in my case it just grew and grew.. everytime I had a cold, or a flu or some weird spot show up on my skin... i went directly there... "that's it its Aids and I am dying".  Trust me it does not go away until you either convince yourself 100% you did nothing at risk of contracting the disease or you get tested. Which I did and it was negative.

Health anxiety is very powerful and you can actually "create" physical symptoms for diseases you "THINK" you have. And it grows as your fear feeds it.

So if it's really bothering you... go get an anonymous test done... they have tests now where you can get your results in 1 minute. Sounds like you have nothing to worry about in terms of the results but this way you will know for sure...and facing this stressor in your life and "anhilating it" will feel good...

As far as the guilt goes...only you and your understanding of your relationship dynamics can make the decision on how you deal with that.