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Ellen
Nothing seems to be going right and I keep getting more and more depressed by the minute...
The most important thing is no one "wants" death. A person thinks they do because they are experiencing depression and medication adjustment or real life circumstances (break-ups, loss of a job) have pushed them over the edge. If a person is talked down from a suicide then they are grateful. Before treatment from my neurologist for the advanced tardive dyskinesia I had two near death episodes one from choking spasms. Luckily I took whatever anti-spasmodic was handy and it stopped it. One could say it was traumatic but it only reminded me how much life was worth living, something I would remind myself if I had feelings of depression that would push me to that point. I don't fear death as it happens to everyone (though with my disability under treatment, my life span is not limited by it) eventually but I don't seek it and I try to put meaningful events in my life and value others and hope to do the same for them.
Of course when we (myself included) are first recovering we can only be concerned about ourselves but the real world events can be dealt with, with talk therapy and the depression with medication adjusted and that's an issue worth discussing. So for anyone who feels that way say "the feelings are not real" and if actively sucidal call 911 and if not write down reasons why you want to live. And if you feel there is nothing of meaning in your life go to a support group for people with depression and with everyone sharing their episodes of these experiences and how to cope with it then a meaningful dialogue will be created and that experience alone was worth living for.
Suicide isn't pretty. Taking pills doesn't just put you to sleep; it makes you sick and suffer before you actually die.
I do know how it feels to think suicide all the time. I also think if you really wanted to do it, you would not come to MH and post your intention of committing suicide in such a public place as MH. You'd just do it.
Do you think you want to kill the pain or yourself. I don't know how long you had to wait to go from one anti-depressant to another but even anti-depressants have "half lives" and a reputable shrink will make sure all the other ADs are out of your system before giving you a new one. Did your shrink do this?
Feeling suicidal is awful; it often feels like the only solution but it's not.
Just one more thing - DON'T DO IT - it isn't worth it. If you don't give in to those suicidal feelings, you are doing something good for yourself and your family.
Enough of my babbling. If you feel really bad and/or suicidal, send me a PM.
(((((HUGS)))))
wolf
You know, like many above have said a lot of us here have had those thoughts of suicide.........I personally know how you feel when these thoughts seem to appear out of nowhere.......I am convinced that nobody truly wants to die..........Suicide just seems to be the most logical answer at the most illogical moment............Trust me dear friend it isn't ........ I also came to this site wanting the same answers you are seeking.........
I met some wonderful people here .......They truly can ease the pain........ They do care as they have the same issues you are facing........For so many years I felt I was the only one with problems such as mine.......I talked with some members here and found out that there were more people like me than not like me.......
Let me say this, we were not put on this earth to be unhappy or to take our own life.......
Take some time for yourself......Truly just for yourself.............Talk to anybody here........We will all welcome you.......We will look past any faults you may have....... If you wish to talk, click my name or anybody's and we will try our best to ease your pain...... But if you want to take a chance, take one on us.....We have been there.......We know the emotions you are feeling...........Where one of us can't help there is another that can.........At almost any time of day you can reach at least one of us........Don't do it for us......Do it for yourself...... You'll be glad you did...........Be well my friend, be well...........Gator
i would very much agree. that statement should apply to all of us here. i think a lot of us are very unhappy at times...a lot of us want to die at times...but even though what goes on in our minds can be hell, we all have a purpose. i have gone through hell with anxiety...and now i'm doing quite well. i'd like to think that possibly my experience with anxiety has given me the insight needed to have helped someone else who has come here feeling the way i did when i came here. there's another lady who posted in this forum that she was affraid her daughter was going to have anxiety...but perhaps if her daughter does have anxiety issues, then it will have helped that she also had the same problem. she'll know how to help her daughter much better than most parents. anyway...i agree that even though all of us here have problems...we certainly aren't just useless tools meant to wallow in our own anxiety induced self-pity. (i don't mean that to sound harsh as i have done that plenty of times.) we all do have some sort of purpose.