time to test these tools

[DJ873]

Today has presented a sitch that would normally cause me about an 8 on the anxiety scale. I am going to try some of the tools I have learned. #1 meditate-done #2 exercise - done
#3 this is something that I have used before asking the questions "whats so" - I'm a little shaky afraid of fainting, afraid of being alone, racy heart - ok, "so what" - the shakiness is my body reacting to my thoughts I am not in danger, I am sitting, if I faint it will be my body trying to right itself and generally with anxiety attacks one doesn't faint, my racy heart is also a reaction to my thoughts, unless it stays over 140 I am in no real danger, just uncomfortable,, "So what now" focus on the now, and the real, deep belly breath and the shaky and racy heart will begin to recede. . I hae been alone a zillion times before, i can choose where to focus my attention and get along with my day, a brand new day, a gift from God.

I can draw something I've drawn before and is calming for me, I am standing in the suns rays, I notice the clouds but stand in the sun, i name the clouds worry, sadness, anxiety, fear, intrusive thoughts, insecurity etc etc. I look at them, notice them shine a sun ray on them, but remain in the sun. My ray words are notice, accept, wait and breathe.
Already my heart rate is going down, the shakiness is going away, I face the day with guarded hope and momentum that I am learning not to fear panic but accept it will happen and the key is not making them go away but to wait them out with as little discomfort and fear as possible. Panic attacks are part of the hand I was dealt. I will accept that and while i know it will take time and i only have to make baby steps, even the baby steps are on the road to contentment.

Wow how great it feels to write this all out!!

[DJ873]

Got out and about today. HIt some sales in my little town, not ready to venture too far yet. But this is such a step up from housebound. Was a bit uncomfortable but did it anyway, again with the "what ifs" turned to "so what". I am beginning to get the idea of letting the thoughts be, LIke clouds where i am looking up at them. Liking this program!! oh I have also added a multi vitamin as the meds and i don't mix well, i can tolerate 75mg zoloft and 90 xanax last me over a year but haven't used them much at all lately and not at all for over a week

[cnote]

LOVE IT

[DJ873]

The day continued on and a couple of situations came along that could have easily led to a panic attack, i was able to hold to 6 or under to that point where you could run or face, i faced and while uncomfortable was able to feel good about accomplishing this, focusing on the now just might work!!! we will see how today goes. Exercies and meditation done and off we go!!!

[DJ873]

1:40 and still trudging along!! Did avoid something I knew I would be uncomfortable doing but allowing myself to be ok with that decision, Rome wasn't built in a day!!! Otherwise have stayed around 3-4 on the scale but no huge issues. I am not worrying about what I have yet to do to be independent, but am giving myself praise for what I have accomplished. Feeling the need to do a little more meditating or reading in my Ekhardt Tolle book, I so recommend those, Actually feeling less of the dis-attachment as well. I think the writing has kept me from my normal state of being stuck in thought, Ready for a great rest of the day!!!

[RubyWitch]

An excellent post DJ. Lovely visual images, very up-beat and positive way to think about and deal with panic. We can all learn something from your words.
Thank you for sharing,
Peace
Greenlydia

[mooksmom]

See? We are NEVER too old to learn new ways to handle anxiety! You are doing very good! Thanks for the post...bet you can or have helped someone else who suffers with anxiety! BRAVO!