waiting on hiv test

[waiting45]

Hi there,

I've already posted at the HIV prevention forum.  I had a 1 & half week sexual relationship with a local girl in Malaysia about 8 months ago.  Near the end of that time I developed a very severe rash all over my body.  I woke up one day and the rash had spread all over and I had really puffy eyes.  I assumed it was an allergic reaction and went to hospital where I got an injection which gradually reduced the swelling and rash.  I always used protection when I was with this woman but my memory is a bit hazy as it was 8 months ago.

Fast forward 8 months and I need to get an std test done because my girlfriend of 3 months has tested positive to chlymdia and I also have the symptoms.  While waiting for my test results I started looking up the symptoms of HIV and noticed the rash and swelling of lymph nodes is common in hiv infected patients.

I don't know that the girl in Malaysia is hiv +ve.  She is unaware and taking a test now as I contacted her yesterday.  I was assured at the HIV prevention forum that i dont have a risk cause I used protection however I have been freaking out so much over the last couple of days (I should get my results tomorrow).  What if I am the exception to the rule who gets infected while using protection?  

I can't seem to stop panicking and it feels like my world is crashing down around me.  I know that my thoughts are not rational but I can't stop them.  I'm really really scared and all I want to do is escape but I can't cause it is happening and the clock is ticking.

I thought it might help me to write this out but I feel like it's making things so much more real and I'm getting worked up again.

I don't know what I'm asking for here.  Maybe some reassurance?  I don't even know if this is the right place to post this sort of thing.  I just don't know what to do.

[cj29]

Health anxiety can be really hard to deal with, but you said you used protection in Malaysia and that the docs said you were having an allergic reaction to something.  If the shot they gave you worked (I assume it was some sort of steroid) then it was probably exactly what they told you it was.  Be careful about self diagnosing yourself through symptoms you read on the internet or from another source.  We can convince ourselves that we can have anything, no matter how unlikely it is.