will i get better

[jane1147]

Hi everyone
I'm 28yrs old, I don't really have much friends so I don't ho out, I grew up with 6 boys since I'm the only girl

I started dating late because for some time I thought I was into girls, when i was in collage i didn't date and have very few friends who don't come to visit so i stop visiting as well,

most times i think about death or that i will have a disease and be the first person to die in mu family

l also don't like drinking water, i could go in for days without drinking water after meals because of that my mouth gets dry alot,this goes on for years but now I'm leaning to drink water

i get so anxious recently thinking i have HIV,or any other disease but i haven't had sex with anyone since I'm still a virgin and no boyfriend, can't stop obsessing about HIV symptoms on the internet

now i can't sleep on to 2hrs, my heart keeps beating fast my throat got tight and my mouth always dried
keep breathing fast with tight chest
i feel so alone

[Jerry_NJ]

Are we talking now about all being adults, you and your brothers living on their own, or are some still at home with parents?  

With a large family there should be an opportunity to communicate (fellowship) with family.  Many people I know have family living nearby and they get together a lot.  My wife and I have since college lived over a thousand miles from any family (with a few years with a brother within 200 miles), and I feel we have missed something due to that.  So, I see your case and think if you have family members nearby, especially if others are adults with families you have a change to re-establish bonding with you family.  

Church wasn't mentioned, or I didn't see it.  I/we do not belong to a church but I again see others who gain a lot of peach of mind and fellowship/support via church associations.  

As for movies, check your library.  Our library system offers award winning movies for "free".  These are relatively small groups, less than 50 people I estimate and I see that as an opportunity to be with people, and who knows, maybe meet people.

Care from a professional would likely provide some help.  Obviously there would be some cost associated, but if you have (still have) insurance many policies now provide some support for mental health issues.

Find something that interests you and become a fanatic on the subject - I do a little bit of that and the "interest" changes over the years:  Fishing, Electronics, Computers, ... all of these activities have led to meeting people and even acquiring a few friends who have lasted past and beyond our shared interest in a subject such as my list above.

[jane1147]

I like going to the movies and it kinda hard to make friends there

I still do feel left out like its a mans world, I usually get ignored at home while growing up so I think I'm use to been invisible

[mariabianca]

Hi Jane

Wow! 6 brothers? that must have been rough being the only girl? Was this in the USA? Did you feel like the forgotten child being the only girl?

First let me tell you that I have OCD & HIV OCD. It important to remember that HIV is unable to reproduce outside its living host (unlike many bacteria or fungi, which may do so under suitable conditions), except under laboratory conditions; therefore, it does not spread or maintain infectiousness outside its host.

HIV is transmitted by;
Unprotected penetrative anal and/or vaginal sex
Sharing works with other IV drug users
Mother to child

Since you are a virgin, you have nothing to fear. So when you feel the anxiety begin just remember the above information. Also, I would suggest seeing a therapist as well. He/she could help you work through these issues
so you can eventually have a healthy relationship. OCD is a cycle that repeats itself & its vicious. The only way to stop it is through therapy & sometimes medication. I do both & it REALLY helps so much.

Also in regards to making friends, have you thought about joining any clubs that interest you? Maybe a book club if you like reading or a gym if you like working out? Do you like playing any sports? That could also be a way of meeting people as well. Sometimes meeting people isn't very easy, and sometimes it is when you share the same interests.

[loose30cannon]

I get those manifestations to try staying calm and relax when this happens also does your hart race in public if so try to take your mind off of what ever situation your in i also suggest trying herbal remedies at home like calmamile tea and lemon bale , also if your stomach get upset i no this will sound gross but goats milk works wonderful and it doesn't taste bad it just sounds like it post if you need to talk

[hafserr94]

Hey have you been to see a psychologist or therapist? I think that would help a lot
You have an irrational fear of an illness such as HIV as you're a virgin.. It definitely will feed your anxiety, I think its a good idea to see a cbt therapist or psychologist ..

Also those symptoms sound just like anxiety symptoms, but it'd be a good idea to see a doctor to rule out anything, and just for confirmation :) hang in there