I was given xanax in1991 for a panic disorder specific to driving, 3mgs a day. During the past 4 years i have reduced to 2mgs a day and was doing OK. I am wanting to get off the medication and tried tapering down .5mg earlier this month with extreme pain, disorientation and a bunch of intense side effects, twitching, nausea etc. The only thing I can compare it too was the side effects of chemotherapy, (am a 6 year breast cancer survivor). After about a week of this, with no lessining of the pain, headaches, body pain in every joint and muscle,I saw my psyciatrist. She advised me to go back to my 2mgs a day dosage and seek hospitalization for xanax de-tox.She advised me it was too dangerous to do alone, due to possibilty of seizure, stroke, neurological issues and more.She said I should be very closely monitiored..
It seems hard to understand why the tapering down from the 3mgs to 2mgs was not that bad, which I also did in.5 mg increments and stepping down a bit more was so awful. Actually I tried this about 6 months ago with similar symptoms , but for only 3 or 4 days as I felt horrible..
We are planning an in-patient stay at Peachford Hospital in Atlanta. I have already contacted them and researched the staff etc.My insurance will cover up to 15 days. I am not sure what to expect.
The counselor I spoke with at Peachford informed me that they can give me other meds ? to help.
I will find out more when I go for an assessment, but she also said to be prepared to be admitted the same day. I am getting things in order to be ready to enter the hospital sometime in mid-January.
Can you advise me as to what I might expect in this 15 day stay? I know they do alot of group therapy . The medical staff qualifications seems first rate.
By the way, I di not experience much anxiety tapering, just immense physical discomfort.
i am not trying to scare u but it is scientificly proven that xanax withdraws can kill you. i would NOT go any lower until u speak to your doctor and tell him everyone of ur symptoms. good luck please keep us posted.. keep ur head up and stay strong.
I just read your post, and it appears that you have great knowledge of Xanax withdrawls, etc. I, too, have been on Xanax for about a year and a half (approx 18 months, give or take). 2 mgs per day. When I try to ween off, 1 1/2 mgs per day, I experience weakness on my left side, twitches, wake up with shakes, anxiety attacks etc. My Doc. just prescribed Paxil to help ween me off the Xanax, but I have heard of awful ghost stories from those on Paxil (20mgs). I don't feel 18 months is an awfully long time to have been on Xanax, but I am scared of both drugs. Do you have any insight???
Thanks for your post.
I have a good psychiatrist and as I mentioned I have been able to taper down , on my own, over a period of 3-4 years, without severe withdrawl.
When I go for the assessment at Peachford, which has an excellent staff of doctors, including a neurologist, several psychiatrists and other specialists, whom I have researched, I will bring up the suggestions and warnings which you mentioned.
When I spoke with the counselors there, they said I will probably be given medications as deemed appropriate and monitoed carefully. I also may just taper , rather than totally be off all meds. I will ask alot of questions. Thanks for telling me about Klonipin. I am also going to ask about pain management. I already know how intense the pain is from my attemps earlier this month to continue the tapering at home. I am also been made aware of the dangers.
Being, I live alone, with no close family near by, the idea of being in a hospital gives me some feeling of safety.The saftey factor is very important as well. This is why my psychiatrist suggested I go there. It is a difficult descion to make. And again i am very grateful for your input. IAlso it is quite likely, that I may spend the next year , after discharge as an out patient in a psychiatric facility in my town. The more information and support I have the greater my chances are for success.
Like Dodie, I did experience alot of weird sensations, especially in left side of my body.
The hospital may use Klonipin or valium. I have Dr. Ashton's manual and I believe that her method, and/or variations of it are widely used for Xanax tapering/withdrawl.
I believe i am starting on a much longer process than the 15 days at Peachford.For me that's a starting out point.
I had hopes of leaving there free of benzos, but that may be an unrealistic goal.
I hope to hear from you again. Could you tell me if you have directly experienced this process as a benzo user, or are you a professional in this field? Your experiences either way, experiencing and/or observing would be most helpful. You sound very knowledgable and articulate.
The problem with many professionals, (doctors, counselors, psychiatrists and pharmacists, nurses etc.) is that they have alot of book knowlegde but don't have the point of view of folks who are on these meds and dealing with getting off of them.
The money factor. Yes, Unfortunately alot of folks are making scads of money off of these meds in all sorts of ways.
Let me see if I understand. Peaches is going to Peachford in the peach tree state -right? How can you miss with a combination like that! Anyway, in terms of tapering, it is not just the amount you decrease, but the percentage of the total you are taking. Thus, if someone is taking 10 mg of something, and tapers by 2 mg, they've made a 20% reduction (2/10) the first time. But the next 2 mg reduction is against a toal of 8 mg (left over from the first time) which is 25% The next one is 2/6, or a third. And the next? 2/3 which is 67%! That's alot!
I think you'll be able to do some realistic goal setting once you're in the program. Meanwhile, be careful about assuming too much or adopting any program in particular in advance of your treatment -and keep an open mind.
And you are right -the care givers and providers often do NOT have personal experience from which to draw. What they DO have is a wealth of exposure to MANY people who have all had the same/similar problems. THAT'S the stuff you want to draw on.
Good luck -you sound like you're mind is "together." I think you'll do well.
Good luck, and may God bless you. I'm not sure if you were asking me or Ryan regarding being professionals on Benzo..well I am not, but I feel like a victim. I am so sorry that I didn't do my own research BEFORE I began Xanax. As stated before, I am only on 2mgs per day (for about 18 months), but it is SO hard to lessen the dosage. I spend hours on the net trying to find an answer on how to get rid of this mess. I want it out of my body for good. I am praying more, learning breathing exercises, etc., driving my poor husband crazy, he can only stand so much. Only God can lead to the perfect answer. Sad, I called my Doctor the other day and He didn't remember who I was; I just had a visit with him 2 days before. I know he's a busy man, but for crying out loud, He could at least pulled my chart!!!. After the phone call, I felt hopeless and helpless. I'm 52 years old, and after I hung up the phone, I cried like a 3 year old. I regret the day I first popped this little pill in my mouth.
Im on the Xanax Merry Go Round...lots of praying here...Im on .50 mgs a day..in a constant state of withdrawl..so life is tough especially in the am...I hate getting out of bed...but I am not a quitter..I dont think my shrink will admit that this dosage is addicting..but what I have read..its not only the dosage its the length of time and I am now approaching a year..I wish I never was prescribed it...but hinde sight is always 20/20...I may try that Ashton taper method..Im in the ny-nj metro area...if any knows of a good shrink..let me know..
thanks and God Bless..
ps I feel for everyone...and I hear ya dodie
Hi everyone. I am feeling more optimisic after reading all your posts again.
As a recovered alcoholic I KNOW HOW IMPORTANT PEER SUPPORT IS.
HONESTY, OPENMINDEDNESS AND WILLINGNESS is HOW.
The fact that were are being all of those things is a great start.
Please, do your research. From what I have learned over the past months has led me to believe I can be free of Xanax. After seeing my psychiatrist this week, we have embarked upon a plan.
PLEASE GET A GOOD PSYCHIATRIST. I FIND THAT I HAVE TO BE AN INPORTANT PART OF MY HEALING.
This includes bringing my knowledge, research and personal experiences to my doctor. She has alot of medical knowledge but I and y'all have PERSONAL EXPERIENCE.
I requested to continue a (what I hope to be) a REALISTIC TAPER . I have already tapered from 3mgs a day to 2 mgs a day, over the past 2 years. Now I wish to accelerate the taper so i requested my pills be in .5 mgs TABLETS and got a pill splitter .I AM ALSO KEEPING A MEDICATION LOG/JOURNAL.
Our plan is to reduce to 1.75 mgs over the next month. A .25mg decrease. I know this is more than the very slow 2% taper with another benzo for support, but I'd rather not take Valium or Klonopin as I don't think it would really help. After another month we plan to reduce by another .25mgs.
I know this will take a great deal of attention and if withdrawls symptoms get too much for me, I have the option of going to the hospital.
We were thinking that when I get down to 1 MG a day, the in-patient de-tox may be the correct thing to do. My doctor told me that weaning off the completely after maintAining on the losest possible dose is the most difficult. That may be the right time to get hospital treatment.
I am planning to consult Peachford and get an assessment as I wish to check out the facility and ask alot of questions. In the meantime my doctor will be getting in touch with the doctor/psychiatrist there who will be overseeing my treatment, if and when we decide it is most appropriate.
I am taking my 2mgs a day in 4 .5 mg dosages, which works very well for me,.Tomorrow i will begin to take 3 .5 mg doses and 1 .25 mg dose. I will take the lowest dose probably in the evening and try to maintain a low stress, peaceful lifestyle. Reading, meditating, prayer, all help. Thinking good thoughts and chatting with others helps too..
There are some good psychatrists out there, though many of them, in my experience are over educated idiots.MAKE PHONE CALLS EXPECIALLY LOOK FOR THOSE WHO HAVE HAD TRAINING WITH ADDICTIONS .Any dose of xanax over a period of time is addicting. Physically addictiong. I do advise you all to get the Aston Manual. It describes all the withdrawl symptioms and explains exactly what benzos do, and why it is so difficult to get off them.
For a fee you can download the manual and also buy the book which I did.
Also check out the The Road Back Org. they reccomend some diatery supplements which may help.
I know that a good natural, whole grain foods help me. As well as calming food such as yogurt, bananas help and spicy stimulting foods, too much coffee, alcohol and sugar can be counterproductive. Also the nourishment in fruits, vegatebles, protein drinks can help the body heal. Some excercise, especially walking out doors in a pleasant naural setting helps bring more oxygen into the body. Drinking water with a bit of not acid fruit juice helps keep the system hydrated and refreshed.
I AM NOT PROMOTING ANY FAD DIETS JUST GOOD WHOLESOME FOOD IN MODERATE AMOUNTS.
We don't have to be victims forever. I look forward from hearing from you and will let you know of my progress. Please let me know how you are doing.
How are you doing on your tapering? I have good days and bad days. Yesterday and today were good days; hopefully tomorrow will be yet another good day. You are right about the exercise (walking). Getting out of the house and walking in a calm setting for about 1/2 hour does wonders for me, and probably others as well. I am slowly tapering from the 2mgs per day. I now (try) to only take 1/2mgs 4 times a day, sometimes cutting the 1/2 into 1/4. If you wish to communicate my e-mail address is ***@****
Hi I'm on my 12th day of tapering from 2 mgs a day to 1.75 and feeling fine. The first 3 days were rocky but I've made a medications log and keep notes. Tomorrow I will see my psychologist and psychiatrist. My plan is to maintain on this dosage for a month and start my new taper to 1.5 mgs a day the second week of February.
My doctor gave me a presctrion for .5mg pills. They are easy to cutin half.
It helps taking my meds in 5-6 doses a day either in.25 mgs and .5 mgs once a day , especially if i need to drive somewhere. mostly I stay at home, seem to have alot of energy now and am doing alot of cleaning and organizing on my good days.
I know this is a faster taper than the 2% recommended by others, but I seem to
able to deal with it OK.
I may do the last month of tapering in the hospital.
Wishing you all the best.
Why on earth, in this day and age, are such tablets allowed exist? It is clear what they have done to so many people. Turned us into xanax addicts. Now it is up to us to try and get off the things. Am about to do the same thing myself. Reading of all the trouble people are having makes it sound like a long road back. I would seriously love to see somebody take a law suit out against their doctor for leaving them on these tablets and getting them addicted to them. It would be a landmark case and if the ruling went in favour of the patient you could imagine the amount of similar cases that would follow. As patients we depend on our doctors. We know nothing about these tablets when we are given them. It's only years down the line we find out the truth about them. By then we are hooked. Look at the pain so many people are been forced to go through. Simply because a doctor left you on a tablet he / she never should have left you on. Good luck to all trying to come off the demon drug.
You are a TOTAL inspiration. Total, COMPLETE. Seldom does one have the opportunity and privilege of watching a fellow human move toward his or her own health and well-being. A remarkable example of self-healing.
I'm not just saying all this to hear myself speak (although that happens sometimes). If you -if ANYONE- reads all the responses to your post, they will immediately discern that you not only had the challenege of the withdrawal and re-entry into a new life, but also the challenges of some of the scary material in the posts themselves, which you handled with grace, dignity and aplomb. And, there is the background is your old relationship with John Barleycorn, whom you've sent packing!
Peaches, you've got ia all together, altogether! The spiritual grip, community support, nutritional component and magical ability to handle the psychiatric cases who treat you! Promise me, PROMISE me you'll hang out here to keep us abreast of your progress and insights -and to begin the work of helping others to whom your example alone is the 24 carat evidence that, yes, it CAN be done.
Regarding lawsuits, in Jack Hobson_Dupont's "The Benzo Book", he does site a lawsuit, successfully won in UK.
The main problem is NO INFORMED CONSENT. Doctors have a responsibility to inform you of all the pros and cons of any treatment.
I di not get this information in 1991. In fact when i told my psychiatrist, after the first mont of bing on xanax, that I was only taking it on work days ( I don't remember if I mentioned I had a driving phobia, and at 47 I had to learn how to drive, for my family's sake, to get a good job)
Anyway that's how I started on Xanax. I was desperate and xanax helped me overcome my paralyzing fear of driving. I only wanted to take it PRN, an hour before I had my commute. My shrink told me I needed to take it EVERY DAY, 3X A DAY.
I still don't drive in cities. Thankfully now that I am retired , no longer living in Northern California, and live in outside a small city/town in Georgia, I don't need to drive much and everything I need is within 10 or less miles of where I live.
Also I've been getting alot of help from Benzoisland.org. They have forums there and I would recommend it to anyone here. Nice to have 2 places to go.
My greatest sense of strength is my unflagging faith in Higher power, whom I call THE LIVING GOD, cause that's true. Having a strong spiritual focus is essential for me to grow and be what I was intened to be. Certainly not a victim. Maybe God had a reason for all of this, another big challenge to overcome. I can see why some folks refer to xanax as SATAN.. Cunning baffling and powerful. Promises release from anxiety, at what cost.
My soul, all souls are precious.These drugs are just another way to entice THE VERY SENSITIVE ONES AMONG US to become enslaved.
We are ultra-sensitve people. That can be a great gift.The world as it is, is harsh and cold often. To numb ourselves from the harsh realities of a dog-eat-dog society,panic of isolation and alienation, many people . feeling that they are "sick" or emotionally un-sound ignorantly look for help from doctors who ignorantly prescribe these drugs.
As Jack hobson-Dupont states
" The signpost on the road to Hell reads " Heaven Straight Ahead".
I'm doing pretty good. Day 18 of taper. God Bless you all.
I have one question, the consensus on other benzo sites and benzo books seem to be the only way to taper without incurring damage to oneself is the Ashton method. This recommends using valium, a longer acting benzo in the weaning process. There is a detailed shedule for this process in The Ashton Manual, which can be read on-line or purchased. I have one and it is excellent.
Another person here suggested Klonopin for the same purpose. Dr. Reg Pearl discusses this in his article, Valium vs. Klonopin in Benzodiazipine withdrawl. I plan on giving this to my doctor.
However nobody has informed me of specific DANGERS in slow weaning off of Xanax without using another longer acting Benzo.
I do understand fully that Valium is easier to reduce in tiny doses beacause of the size in mgs of the tablets.
Thanks so much again.
Day 19 of direct taper.Maintaining 1.75 mgs, down from 2.0 mgs. Slept 8 hours last night as did the previous few nights. Woke up feeling good
Well, aren't you just moving right along! Day 19! It will be interesting, I think, to see what kind of reponses are made to your tapering question, but I caution you to bear in mind that personal opinions are just THAT -personal opinions. The value of experiences people share is that if we run into some of the same, we can take some assurance from the fact that others have been there before us.
That said, I wish you well and am so GLAD you've kept us up-to-date.
Just wondering if any folks have successfully gotten off of xanax and how you did it.Today is day 29 of the 1.75mgs dosage, down from 2.0 mgs.
Am feeling pretty emotional today and confused, as far as the future. I spoke to a friend who had withdrawn from xanax cold turkey 19 years ago in treatment. She reported that she had bben taking huge amounts of xanax, prior to treatment, abusing the drug. She reported that they only gave here phenobarbitol to prevent seizures and she suffered from withdrawal symptoms for 14 months after that. That sounds pretty awful as a cure. That was along time ago and seems rather barbaric.
I called a hospital that she recommended and asked a counselor about their treatment plan. She advised me that they typically use Tranzene for rapid 1 week inpatient de-tox. Then they do out patient follow up treatment for an intermined lenght of time.I have never heard of Tranzene and wonder if this is a realistic option.
She had not heard of The Ashton Manual either. On Benzoisland.org, that is the only system that they support.
I know the next taper is going to be pretty rough. Sorry, am not teribly cheerful today.
I tried switching from xanex to valium and had a horrible time. I then switched back to xanex and am withdrawing from it. I have so far gone from 4 mg down to 1 mg. I know it can be done, but I only know of one other person who did it. The Benzoisland site is good as is Benzobuddies. I think Benzobuddies is a little more tolerant of different methods used to withdraw and can help you withdraw at your own rate in a way that is comfortable to you using whatever benzo you are on.
Thanks for your reply.I've visited benzobuddies too. It seems that the only thing they reccoment is The Ashton Manual. Your post is quite interesting. How and over what time period have you tapered down?
This gives me renewed hope.
Is your taper supervised by a doctor? In what amounts do you reduce and over what period of time?
I spoke to one lady tday, who did a cold turkey de-tox from xanax, several years ago with only phenobarbitol in a hospital. She reported have severe withdrawal for 14 months afterwards. Sounds awful. But she said she somehow dealt with it.
I think I found a good recovery program and doctor,today, in a nearby town, who does a compassionate approach to prescription drug withdrawal. I spoke to one of the counselors and may see the doctor for an evaluation on Monday. They have an outpatient program, and it appears they favor a slow taper. I hope they take my insurance. I'll find out more in the next few days.
It seems like I've been spending hours every day , looking for help. I also found an in-patient program that does a faster de-tox using Tranzene. I don't know anything about that one.
Looking forward to hearing from you soon.You some like an awesome lady.
I wanted to thank you for your advice. So far I've gotten about 5 opinions.I have contacted several local recovery programs by phone and today after contacting BREAKTHROUGH ADDICTION RECOVER, neatr Atlanta, I am feeling optimistic. They have an out patient program, and favor the slow taper. I'm not sure what method or medication they use but their philosophy is compassionate. The counselor I spoke with today took alot of time with me, and gave me some good information. I can find out more when I make an appointment. I don't know if they will take my insurance. The billing department has to check that out
My psychiatrist here, is very nice, but she is not that knowegable in this area, although she did bring up the subject of Klonopin during my last visit.
Another place I researced uses a transition to Tranzene, which I know nothing about. However the counselor there assured me that I would not go through a painful withdrawl and would get follow up care. This place does take my insurance.
In July I was taking 3 to 4 mg of xanex daily. In Sept. I started a crossover to valium and was taking 1.5 mg xanex and 15 mg of valium. Between Oct. and Nov. I got down to just about 22 mg of valium, but wasn't doing too well. Then I went back to the xanex at 2 mg in November. In the mid of Dec. went to 1.5 mg and now at 1 mg and thinking of going to .75 mg soon. It is NOT dr. supervised. I am doing this on my own. From everything I've heard and read, it is not good to detox in an inpatient setting. It is best to do it on an outpatient basis over many months.
Summer you have given me so more hope and reinforinforcenment. I wish to correct some misinformation which I stated in regard to Benzobuddies, on that site they actually DO suggest a slow direct taper from whatever benzo one is taking, rather than a switch over to another benzo, which , I see you are doing with great success.
I got quite confused earlier this week, most likely because I missed taking my scheduled dosage on Sunday (,5 mgs). Due to this rapid decrease on just one day, I was disorientated rather severely on Monday and Tuesday. I felt panicy and started searching around for treatment centers etc.
I just started to feel better today . This mistake on my part shows me just how important it is to keep to a regular taper schedule. I plan to follow the taper schedule as outlined on the Benzobuddies site and decreas another 1/4 a tablet, rather than the 1/2 a tablet I was planning. Slow and steady makes much more sense.
If I can continue on this way, with my current doctor, i think i have a good chance of becomming xanax free in several months time.
My main problem is impatience. That is not good for me or anyone I think. Worrying about getting down to a "final" dose, is not helping me at this point. It is much better to take baby steps and even 'rest" at a certain level, until I feel comfortable about the next step down.
Please keep me abreast of your progress and how you are doing on your taper.Your stepping down to 1.5 mgs after 2 seems like a hefty decrease. When i tried this in December I got very sick, I went back to the 2 mgs ( on my doctor's advice) and then at the first week of January, 1/9/08, to be precise, I decreased to 1.75.This too was discussed with my doctor.I was feeling pretty good until Sunday , when as I mentioned , I neglected to take 2 doses of .25 mgs each.
However, I did the first 1 mg taper , slowly on my own and did just fine. I don't actually remember when I started doing this , nor kept records then. It was about 2 years ago .
Now I think it is very important , for me anyway, to keep my doctor directly involved in my treatment program, even though I am pretty much doing the step down process on my own with the information I am getting from Benzobuddies and folks like yourself.
Thanks, so much to you all.
It is the Benzoisland group, centered in the UK that rigorosly followed the Aston Manual, using the valium. Your experience with the valium and not getting any benefits from that form of taper is good information.
I was on 1 mg of xanax give or take .25 for nine years; I decided to taper off of it last fall; I got down to .5 (.25 2x a day) and when I started to decrease that had trouble. I read the Ashton materials and now I've switched over to valium and am taking 2 mg twice a day. I can't say I feel horrible but I don't feel well. I am depressed and feel "stupid". The xanax did not feel heavy like this, had a little lift, but kept wearing off so quickly. My psychiatrist kept telling me that I could take xanax forever, even though I had an opiate addiction thirty years ago...I was so leery of controlled substances but nine years ago had debilitating panic attacks. I wish I had trusted my instincts. I feel like I will never get off of these drugs and feel normal again.
Interestingly, my psychiatrist who specializes in pharmacology, was very reluctant to switch me to valium because she said it is so addictive!!! Who would want to get addicted to this drug??!! It's numbing and not in a pleasant way. I've also considered going back to the xanax and trying to taper down from the .25 twice a day but I found it really needs to be in three divided doses and it was getting hard to cut it evenly.
Is there an oral xanax? That would be easiest to titrate down..
Does anyone know whether .25 xanax equals 2 mg valium? Some literature on the internet says yes, and other postings say no, , that .25 equals five mg of valium.
The Ashton manual gives the exact dose equivanlents.I don't have it in from of me right now, but you can go directly to the Ashton manual site and research it.
I too am sceptical of taking valium. I understand the "feeling stupid thing". I can relate to your concern regarding addiction. However you are not abusing xanax. This is an important and often overlooked factor in the process. I know of folks taking 300-500 pills a week, (NOT ME), who were forced into withdrawal and suffered protracted withdrawal symptoms for a very long time..
Folks like us , who were innocently given xanax or other benzos for anxiety, panic attacks etc. and took our dosage as prescribed, without increasing to higher and higher dosages , and are trying to lower our dosages, are not exhibiting typical addictive behavior patterns.
The fact that you got off of opiates, is good, excellent even. You and I are in a sticky situation, however. It is rough to taper, but not impossible. I am continuing to do a direct taper and once stablized on 1.75 mgs, will choose an appropriate time to continue my taper. Last month I was very impatient to get off xanax. Part of it was pride.
I started looking into de-tox centers, spent alot of time on various benzo sites, Benzobuddies.org and Benzoisland .org, was almost completely obsessed with this whole issue.
This has been a most difficult month for me. This small taper has proved extremely challenging. I get into terrible migraine like headaches, weird body aches, then have some good days or hours , then get into crying bouts, a roller coaster of emotional and physical ups and downs.
After doing so much research, I decided to be more gentle with myself. I will remain at this level for a while. I'm not yet stable at this level.
Another thing I need to consider is the reason I was prescribed this drug in the first place, I had debilitating panic attacks, severe agonizing anxiety, agoraphobia which kept me from going places and earning a living. Just stopping this drug will not neccessarily return me to a normal state of functionality. It is a process and I'm not sure all that it entails. Taking this drug for 17 years has altered things in my system that I have not the expertise to diagnose. I don't know who actually does. Right now I'm having trouble concentrating on opening mail and paying bills.
I feel like I'm in a tunnel and as I proceed I find new obstacles along the way. Removing this obstacles takes time and patience. I must proceed with caution as I don't want the whole thing to cave in on me.
I pray alot and believe with God all things are possible. This is a very humbling experience. Humbly shall I proceed.
I was on xanax for several years, 1.5 mg/day. By several, I mean probably 15 or more, when I think about it. I did taper off of it a couple of years ago. It took months to do it. I was down to a crumb a day. I experienced leg cramps, (I was told that was normal for benzo withdrawel), vertigo, of course shakiness....But I did finally get down to zero/day. I stayed that way for a year.
Good luck to you. It is doable with alot of hard work and determination.
I have to be honest with you. I've gone down from 4 mg to 1 mg a day that's true. However, I am not functioning in society and am an agoraphobic. I can only leave the house when I've had a xanex. This has led to almost total isolation. Went out for a little while today driving on a road that normally doesn't make me too anxious, but had an anxiety attack anyway. I've begun to question just why I am withdrawing from xanex. It is the only thing that lets me function in society. It wasn't until I read Benzobuddies that I even knew xanex only worked for 4 hours (it had worked for me for a long time). Guess reading that made me susceptible to believing that and now it really does only work for 4 hours. Prior to reading so much, it seemed to me to have lasted all day. I was able to go grocery shopping, driving, festivals, vacations, socializing, etc. Now that I've cut down I can't do any of that. If my life continues this way, I see no alternative but to increase the xanex so I can function, or admit to myself that my life is over except that I am still breathing. Some people start on xanex for other reasons like insomnia or a little anxiety. I'm convinced it should only be given to people with severe panic disorder and agoraphobia. That said, I can only pray that xanex is always prescribed for me because if it isn't, I hafve no choice but to end my life.
I really appreciate your reply. I really, really want to believe you that if I get off xanex that eventually the anxiety, panic attacks and agoraphobia will go away. That is the reason why I've gone down from 4 mg to 1 mg. However, I remember I did have panic attacks before going on xanex. I'm also doing CBT now. The CBT is not helping (perhaps because I'm also withdrawing from the xanex). I do believe I am suffering protracted withdrawal syndrome. I can also understand how the anxiety could lesson after being off the benzos. However, I still cannot figure out how the original panic attacks will go away without it. Do you think the CBT will work after I've come completely off the xanex. Right now it seems as if I'm torturing myself by surviving on such a low dose of xanex (at least low for me) and I need hope for a better future so I don't updose. Can you help?
I am so sorry to hear of your difficulties and anguish.From what I heard from others is that it sounds like protracted withdrawal symptoms.
I don't remember if you has discussed your method of tapering down from 4mgs to 1mg. Did you do it very rapidly? Did a doctor and/or therapist work with you?
I finally have a good therapist and psychiatrist that work me . I can and do tell them exactly what i am doing regarding meds, show them my taper log, in which I keep daily records of dosage, time activity and symptoms.
I understand your feelings of total despair. They happen to me from time to time , and occassionally, think about the "S" word. Most folks don't undersatnd how bad it can get, emotional, mental physical pain can be beyond belief.
The only way to avoid that, as I've been learning over the past few months, is by a slow taper. When i impatiently wanted to do a big step-down back in December, I felt horrible. Agony was not too strong a word to use. I realized that my pride was looking for kudos in conquering my "addiction", quickly, just bite the bullet.NO NO NO. BAD PRACTICE, BAD MOTIVATION.
PRIDE AND IMPATIENCE CAN BE OUR UNDOING.
When you see your doctor ASAP, talk all about this. Maybe you need to go back to a larger dose and taper slowly, Maybe you would benefit by getting smaller pills and cutting them.
With my current taper, I took 6 small doses a day at first. Now I take 4 small doses, ( same amount, just don't need to take a small does that often). I take .5mgs at 10 am, 2 pm and 7 pm and a .25 mg just before going to bed.
THE PAST 3 NIGHTS i SLEPT 6-8 HOURS WITHOUT WAKING UP. that's awesome.Felt good upon awakening.
I'm not going to start a new taper for several weeks. Am enjoying being withdrawal symptom free just now.
I can totally relate to fear of driving and leaving home, even going for a walk with my dogs.
Going out that 10,000 pound door is too much.Even going on my deck or front yard can be scary. However, 2 days ago I drove all over town in pouring down rain, without panicing. Big one for me. Although several days before that i drove white knuckled for the 6 mile trip to my doctor. Driving home was alot easier. WHY, because I got folks to listen to me and help me, who cared.
In my therapy session we discussed other ways we are emotionally affected. Good energy shared with others actually decreases anxiety, it is very calming to have someone to talk too. My therapist discussed visiable changes on patients PET scans/brain scans, when given caring, nurturing emotional support. The effect of loving and giving love is real. Thank God I have my 2 dogs also. They are a source of comfort.
Sometimes I so crave comfort. Being in AA, I've learned that whatever you want to get, you must give. This condition we share so isolates us. The very things we need become so hard to do and get.I cry alot. For hours, usually I feel better when it happens. A release.
I hope I can offer you some direct comfort. I hope that when I get benzo-free, I will help others to find their way. I hope I never get complacent, self-righteous, or proud.We are precious children of God, derserving to be healed of this affliction. With God all things are possible.
I would love to send you a breath of love. I care.
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