Any medical advice

To get to the point, for the past 2 years I have been abusing two different medications, ambien and fioricet. With ambien, often times the first night I have them I will end up taking up to 80mg without even remembering or knowing it until I count the pills the next day. The next three nights I usually take 40-50 mg.  I do this about 8 days out of the month, and please know I am aware that I am fully abusing it.
The next med. is fioricet (without codeine.) This has been a two year process of which I took it as prescribed but for roughly a year I have found myself taking 3 or four pills at once. So, suddenly I found I was taking it 5-7 days a week. I would do this until my script would run out and then I would to wait 1-2 months to get a knew one. Suddenly, every few months I would get a script of 50 pills and down them in 7-10 days.   The breaking point for me was when I was able to finagle getting enough fioricet to last me a little over two months. When I ran out I went through a withdrawl (withdrawal) that gave me 3-4 days of the worst anxiety and depression I have ever experienced.  After that I swore I would stop using it, which actually lasted for a month (longer than I’d done in a while.) Though I barely thought of it until a few nights ago, yesterday I stupidly got a script and took 9 ½ pills throughout a 24 hour period. Today I have taken 5 so far.
I’ve considered telling my doctor but the thought of disappointment and judgement I fear feeling keeps me from being able to do so. I know I need help and I am currently deciding how I want to go about that (as I know my option.) I spin in my head about how the ambien and fioricet (due to the acetaminophen and butalibital) is damaging my liver. kidneys, heart or lungs. Though I need to stop I am wondering if you can give me some feedback on the possible damage I've been doing. It would be very helpful.

[Bridget A. Hewitt, RN]

Hi and thanks for using the forum.

You are abusing prescription medications.  They can affect your heart, kidneys, liver and just about all of your organs.  They can also destroy your social life, your relationships with your family and friends, your work life and your religious beliefs if you are religious.  Only you can seek the help that you need and no amount of lecturing or information that I can give you will make that any easier.  Go get help before you get any further into this.   You owe it to yourself.  

Bridget