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12 year old daughter showing Asperger's symptoms?
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12 year old daughter showing Asperger's symptoms?

My 12 year old daughter was diagnosed with ADHD several years ago (5 or 6 years of age?).  She has always been on medication.  I do believe it helps some with her focus and concentration, but I am SURE there is something else going on.  My 4 year old son was diagnosed with Autism a year ago.  They have different father's.

Here are some of the things I see:

She has no good/close friends.  She will go to a school activity and cant remember the names of most of the people she spent time with at the function.

She has to be told the same things...HUNDREDS of times.  During the school year, she has the same bed time. She has to be reminded every night (and always has, as long as I can remember), that it is bed time.  She has to be told simple things, logical, common sense things, over and over and over.  And still will 'forget' soon after. I remember once when we moved into a new neighborhood (she was about 10 1/2) and there were some kids that looked her age.  I was so happy when she wanted to make an effort to befriend them.  Instead she hid behind a tree spying on them, and was then disappointed when they made fun of her and went into one of the girls houses.

When she is in trouble, she just gives you this blank stare, like she is clueless that you are angry or waiting for her do react or do something, etc. She looks at you the same if you are yelling at her or telling her you love her.

She is in all GT and Pre AP classes at school.  She is a gifted violinist. But She can not hold an everyday conversation with people. She hums and haws through the whole thing and her story usually has no real meaning or importance.  

She comes up with huge, grandiose ideas but can not follow through.  She can not even typically get things onto paper.  It is like the thought are stuck in her head.  I think this one may be an ADHD thing.

She knows something is "off" and it makes her sad.  She knows she is hard work but doesnt try to change, Or her efforts are very short lived.

I have learned over the last almost 13 years to deal with and accept her  issues. But things are not getting better and she is getting older. Her step dad does not get this at all and thinks she is just just lazy and doesnt care. I know she cares but think maybe my always trying to help, or ignoring some of her 'faults' may have made her use whatever it is as a crutch.

We do not have thousands of dollars for tests.  I am staying home with my autistic son and my husband is the only one working, and he is a student.  So there is no extra money.  The kids are on Medicaid. We are in Texas.

Can anyone offer suggestions, confirmations, help, anything?!  I want to get my daughter happy!  She is the sweetest kid, but quite a bit quirky. :)
Tags: aspergers, 12 year old daughter, symptoms
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This is about the age my daughter was diagnosed. She was tested by the Autism Specialist through the school district we were in. Most every school district has one these days. Some of the things you talk about sound like they could be Asperger's and some seem to be more ADHD. I have one ADHD/Asperger's son and one Asperger's daughter.
The school district has to test your child if you ask them to. Even if they say it is not needed, push them to do it. This is FREE testing. Even if you home school or are in a private school the district HAS to test your child. Having a diagnosis helped me learn and understand where my kids were coming from.
My son was tested for Autism after he was stable on his ADHD meds....that was the best time to test him and he ended up having a very mild Asperger's.
Please ask the district or the school psychologist to have your daughter tested. It is invaluable information to have.
Good luck and take care,
She sounds A LOT like my 9-year old step-son. We are in the very very beginning stages of having him re-diagnosed as we just got custody of him from his mom. Anyways, It is very hard to deal with, but at the same time, it is the biggest drive in my life right now.
It's hard to watch such an intelligent child have so many social issues. My step-son is great with adults, but with other kids he lashes out (hitting or yelling) or has no idea what to do. He is sensitive to noises (says the class is too loud when the kids are just talking), thinks everyone is doing things just to annoy him. He loves his video games, tv and camera and if he doesn't have one of those things, he says how bored he is...about everything.
I hope she gets properly diagnosed, no matter what the turn out.

Carolyn, thank you for that information! The school is trying to help, but they haven't mentioned testing through them. So far, they recommend going to a local dr., which we are waiting on to call us.
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