41undiagnosed but possibly has Asberger's?

I've been doing a little research on Aspergers, a mild form of Autism, which I believe my mother in law may suffer from but has not been diganosed. Obviously, as her daughter in law i have not asked her about such things but from what little I know from college psychology and my own research I believe she exhibits some of the main symptoms that would be could be attributed to either this syndrome or something similar. Her parents actually married her off to a 25 year old man when she was 13 (This is Alabama, folks) and she had her first son at 14 (my husband). She has never shown any affection to either of her children (she has a younger son also) She has never hugged them, never a kiss on the cheak, never so much as to tell them that she loves them, ever in their lives. She has been married four times and it seems like her current husband understands and helps her when she cannot cope with social situations and such. She has such an odd demeanor to someone who may not know her and understand. She seems to have the same sullen look on her face, stiff body language and uses the same greetings and phrases repeatedly. She seems to be a very unemotional person but according to my husband when he lived at home she would have violent outbursts of anger sometimes when things weren't going as she had planned. She has a dog breeding business which she takes very seriously, but doesn't seem too interested in much of anything else. I just worry about this because my husband would like to have the relationship with his mom that he has always deserved (he never knew his dad) and also we have a toddler girl now and I'd like for her to feel comfortable picking her up and playing with her. Oh and also at the age of 42 she still has a speech impediment in which she pronounces r's like w's. Not all of the time, but it's pretty evident in her conversation. I didn't know if that had anything to do with it but I just thought it was worth noting. Thanks.

[Forheavensakes]

It could be very possible that your mother-in-law is an undiagosed individual affected with Asperger's Syndrome. However, at age 41, there is no real need to obtain a professional diagnosis as very little programs and services exist for adults.

As long as she is contented with her way of life and can adequately survive in the world, there is no need to worry. There are plenty of people like her in the world who are simply all the more beloved for their own special "quirks."

[Dazon50]

Has she expressed any interest in knowing why she does what she does?  In other words, is she looking for answers and help with challenges in relationships?

I commend you for having the heart to want to piece together the picture and for there to be a better outcome.

I was thinking if she shows an interest, there are a number of good books out there on Aspbergers and perhaps suggesting or giving one as a gift, might plant some ideas.  I know that I found help from reading in Tony Atwood's books about rigidity in thinking.  At the time, I saw obstacles as "dead ends" and thought no further.  After reading about that type of thinking in Aspbergers, I started making a direct attempt when I saw obstacles (ex:  a route was blocked by construction...instead of getting panicky because it meant a new route, see it as challenge to learn a new route by choosing to go different ways to get places regularly until it ceased to be an anxiety causing threat).

There are other examples, but suffice to say, I found lots of beneficial things that have helped me and I have no diagnose....lol...except someone saying that I ramble on.  Speaking of which, Aspies do like to go on and on about their favorite subjects.

My daughter is "officially" diagnosed at 6 with PDD-NOS which is on the spectrum.  She is now 26.

[Hellcat64]

I'm not a psychologist but I'm pretty sure my boyfriend (he's going to be 60 this month) has Aspberger's.  I love him and he says he loves me.  He's brilliant in his profession but is very socially awkward. He's a hoarder and has no interest in organization.  He's very possessive, and insists on going with me almost everywhere I go.  We've been living together for two years and he has no friends and has only communicated with his adult son twice.  His son called each time and they spoke for only 5 minutes each time.  He is a young 60 yr old man who is

[Hellcat64]

He tells me that he was the smartest, best looking, most athletic person in his High School.  Is arrogance a symptom of Aspberger's?  

[SarahL2491]

Interesting comments about lack of programs for adults.  I'd just like a Dx so family would stop picking on me!  Have "shades" of it, enough that I know I don't react like everyone else........

good forum

[innerchild09]

Yeah this is an interesting post. I always thought I was different. Not sure if its this but I think I have some of the symptoms so I wonder but not really tried to get a dx. Havent really got to be seen long enough to really talk avout all the things different with me. Just meaning in general not nessarrly aspergers. But I do think I have some of the symptoms.