Adult Aspergers

My significant other has asperger's syndrome. With therapy during childhood he is much better, but he does say that every day is a battle.

Is aspergers genetic? and if so does it require one or two parents with the gene?

[Jena_C]

What kind of therapy did make him better?
In which way does he feel "every day is a battle"?
Does he feel that his mind get preoccupied with a single stress factor
quite easily?    This happens to my daughter.    If she worries about
something, say for her exam,  she'll find it difficult to get rid of that
thought.

[MaryannesMom]

Most definately it is genetic, and it only takes one parent, or even a relative having it would raise the risk, because it would be in the family genes.  

[nightarrow85]

Im not sure if im the best person to be answering questions about another's thoughts,

but i know his main and lasting problems have been recognition of verbal and physical cues (communication signs). He often sayd/phrases things in a way that is odd to others. And yes, he gets often gets stuck (focused on) specific things.

Again, I cant put into words his exact troubles and these are only the ones he's specifically explained to me. As far as therapy he mentioned taking medication throughout his younger school years and meetings with a therapist. Hope this helps...

And thank you so much MaryannesMom, I appreciate the information.

[mtgoat911]

i do believe it is more genetic than other popular beliefs, my father defiantly has a hard time dealing with others, he owned and operated several successful bussiness however his employees who he cared for dearly had a hard time working with his personality which is very "tell it like it is" he also had difficulty with math and spelling, which is totally ironic because part of his job was editing and he is great with money
i am the same way, the people who i surround myself with are generally people in 12step programs such as EA who always place "principals before personalities" and have accepted me the way i am, i also speak at a special ed. co-op group so i am also accepted there as well, hopefully your loved one will find people whom he can lean on for support, a group that has no issues with the typical aspie personality, if there even is one
back to genetics, with my family i can see a touch in my dad, a bit more in me, and my son seems to have been hit with this issue however he struggles more with the learning aspects of this disease, outside of school he does fine, however i do notice that he is unable to let go of certain ideas, and tends to focus on things to long, from being around adults and children with aspers i would say letting go is not one of our stronger atributes

[nightarrow85]

Did/do you ever feel bad that your child may have gotten it from you? That would be my chief concern is that I would not want either person to get hurt - the descendant or the father. Do you regret that it may have been your genetics that passed it on to a child?

I apologize if I sound callous, Im just trying to obtain what input I can.

[MaryannesMom]

Your question is not callous at all, it is very smart to consider this.  As a parent, I think we all feel bad about the negative traits we pass on to our children, but we realize that we don't really have control over that (except to not have kids at all).  Even though my Aspie daugther has been more than a handful, she has taught me so much--that the world is not black and white, there are so many more ways to see things than I ever realized.  She is so smart and witty--she cracks me up every day.  I wouldn't change her for anything!  On a spiritual level, I believe that we all chose our "life" and what kind of challenges we will be dealt, but that is my own personal belief.  Good luck in your decision making process!!

[Beldan4]

Sounds to me like he's trying to "fake it". As a person with asburgers i admire his willpower to keep going, but I also fear for him in the fact that one day he may just burn out. People that "fake it" are people that devote a vast majority of their energy to staying on the edge of "normalacy", despite the battleground in their mind. Your allways afraid, afraid of failure, afriad of emotinaly shutting down, you can't really ever reasonably depend on your mind to work consistnaly well. this ofcourse in turn creates loads of stress, which just make the problem worse. its like your whole body constantly breaks out in this very painful rash, in random areas, and the only tool you get is an unlimited amount of pinky sized bandaids, you allways gotta keep track of where the bandaid are and when to change them, and keep watch for new out breaks. eventually its more trouble then its worth.

As far as the gentics question, personaly I don't care what the "cause" is. heck i like to blame it on the fact that both my parents worked at a necular power plant, though i could also blame it on the fact that my mother's father is insane. placing blame is a total waste of time, unless somthing useful can be derived from it "like a cure". However since we can't even genticly fix cancer yet, I doubt very much there's a drug out there that'll do that for asburgers in the near future. maybe im just very forgiving but i blame my parents for my asburgerness about as much as i blame them that i came out with blue eyes instead of green.

I'd suggest your signifcant other look up "biofeedback, Heart rate veribality (i can't spell), and Neurofeedback" i know for a fact that HRV has helped a LOT in the stress catagory. also see my post on "fix"

[nightarrow85]

This post was not looking for alternate ways to deal with aspergers. When one must keep a job, it can be a bit of a battle to keep things in check, school was a pretty tough ordeal too. Public High School - not so fond memories.

No one here is looking for "who to blame." I asked for information that would be relevant to future decisions. Im not looking to prevent it, im just looking for facts in order to be prepared.

Thank you for your input.

[spunkykitty]

i hear u... at least i think i do...

i m 44 with ASD, female, makes me one of the minority even in this minority of ASD... i was diagnosed at age 43... yes it is inherited... my dad was (undiagnosed) ASD too... he showed ALL the signs... and so did his dad, my grandad... but all managed to hv good careers and become successful professionally, albeit their personal lives suffered... and needless to say the women who loved them...

try reading if u can stomach the reading thing...

tony attwood is practical, up to date and no fuss... i recommend all his books

i m now reading this book that is helping a lot too:

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Adult Asperger Syndrome by Valerie L. Gaus

meant mainly for professionals but i find it easy reading and not too technical, very helpful...

hope this helps u...