Adult DIagnosis

I am a 22 yr. old adult and I believe I might have Asperger's in some form.  I have never been formally diagnosed but I seem to possess some of the diagnostic criteria.  Most pronounced is my difficulty in social interaction.  This is not manifested as a complete inability to interact but rather as a marked difficulty.  I am able to form relationships over a long period but only after having studied the person for some time.  I find this period of study crucial to becoming friends with a person because it allows me to develop strategies for talking to them.  I have difficulty maintaining eye contact with anyone but my closest friends and family and I often have conversations where I am not even facing the person.  People have remarked on this as what they perceive as my disinterest in conversations around me.  The fact is I do not often turn to face a speaker but I am listening to everything.  I have a habit of ignoring many people at all costs as a means of limiting what could possibly be uncomfortable interaction.

I am incredibly uncomfortable in new situations and around new people.  I take an analytical approach to social interaction.  I can recall watching people talk and the gestures they make in order to modify my own behavior.  I can also recall Google searching topics such as "Comfortable Length for Eye Contact" and "How to Flirt."  It is baffling to me how these things come so easily to some people.  I have a seeming inability to empathize; a trait that has led to my being described as "cold" and "harsh."  I have always just considered myself hard to arouse to emotional states (more pragmatic than melodramatic)  One, perhaps inconsequential, fact; I can not remember the last time I cried.  Neither can my parents.  Funerals, sad movies, nothing.  I do not understand when people do...

One other trait was the obsessive interest in narrow topics.  When I was a child I was fond of Star Wars and Dinosaurs; nothing weird there, these are common interests for children.  What was uncommon, however, was the depth of my knowledge in these subjects.  My parents recalled them being more of a field of study than a childish pastime.  Currently I am obsessed with maps and Naval vessels.  I often find myself studying armaments of Carriers and Battleships as well as countries and capitals.  I have no  further interest in the Navy, only the capabilities of its vessels.

I suppose I could speculate on any number of events in my life and selectively recall them to fit my self-diagnosed condition.  I believe this is a trait I share with any number of first year Psych students who believe themselves afflicted with each new condition they learn about.  I guess I am interested in whether there is foundation to my belief or if I am simply an oddball who should have dated more in High School.  Any comments would be appreciated.

[MJIthewriter]

Save this post and share it with your shrink. I agree a lot of what you are posting fit the criteria pretty well.

The problem with a lot of self diagnosing is people tend to call themselves aspergers or "aspie" without an official diagnosis. True they may have aspergers, but they could be mistaken and have something on the autistic specturm but not aspergers.

For instance one difference between PDD NOS and aspergers is what age you were able to fully speak. If you hit the speach milestones (and many others) on time and have autism, you may fall in the criteria for aspergers.

If this came at a later date and many milestones were met at a later age, then you'd likely be considered PDD NOS.

And not to be even more confusing, but there's also people diagnosed classic autism and considered "high functioning" which may or may not be an older diagnosis. (I can't tell the age of the people who post the the things I read)

Oh yeah and we can't forget newer diagnosises such as Auditory processing disorder and Nonverbal Learning Disorder, etc... Nonverbal Learning disorder is a lot like aspergers but with some suptle differences...

Confusing I know....
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You are not alone.  The best way I've found to "feel empathy" is to think of the Golden Rule. "Do onto others as I would want done to myself"  I may not understand what it is like to be another person, but if I reflect upon the things I like and dislike I can take a shot in the dark and assume that a lot of the things I like and dislike are not far from what other people like and dislike.  I may tend to take moral codes on a pretty literal sense.  Sometimes likely to a fault.

Another strategy for thinking about other people is by using my imagination. I research a lot about a topic and read people's stories. With that in mind I can generate characters in my head. From those characters I can imagine responses and their feelings.  If anything I've also found TV shows and movies to be a fairly good learning example (provided you don't use cheesy sitcoms as an example, :P)

As a child I prefered anything animated over live action. I think because cartoon character's expressions are often portrayed in a way they cannot be mistaken.