Aspberger Syndrome

[suziet]

Is there a way to tell the difference between bad behavior and melt downs of Aspergers.  My 2 1/2 year old grandson seems to know what he wants and has a tantrum because he doesn't get it. He also has OCD.  He gets bored easily because he gets the concept of a game, he knows how to get around any obsticals and finds a way to win. He gets bored easily.  His seven year old brother works harder to win. When he gets bored he picks up all the pieces and puts them back in the box exactly as they came out.  If a game piece gets slightly dirty he will not pick it up and  put it back in the box.  He is a smart little boy, except when he has a melt down.  Last week was the first time he remembered my name when I walked into his house.  Before it would take him several hours before he said my name.  I think there are times when his bad behavior needs to be treated as any child.  What do you all think?

[mtgoat911]

i have an answer for this but i am too sleepy to form my thoughts into words
let me know if you are still here at medhelp, sorry someone has not answered this
yes, autistic kids should have consequence for bad behavior, after all they will get sent to hospitals or other institutions when they are older, more later

[MJIthewriter]

> "I think there are times when his bad behavior needs to be treated as any child.  What do you all think?"

Agreed. Bad behavior is bad behavior. A meltdown is usually a reaction to stress. (in some cases stress of not getting one's way, like you mentioned.) Both cases, giving the child a break (aka timeout), is likely a good idea. Reacting with anger will likely trigger a more stressed response.

[suziet]

Thanks for your answer, it's a tricky thing,  He is doing great at the moment.  He asked to sit on my lap and read a book.  I'm still in shock. A grandma's prize.  Thanks for taking the time to reply.  It helped me.  Smile

[MJIthewriter]

Sounds like a good time you got to enjoy with your grandson.

It is tricky. I agree. Even with myself some of my worst meltdowns can be traced back to anger and frustration. A lot of that frustration comes from things I can't control. Chances are quite a few of those things that stress me also stress other people out too, just with autism perhaps the emotional aspects and sensory stuff is more intense. It's harder to calm and control those feelings and emotions, but to let me get away with it is not good either. Because, as much as I hate to admit it, letting me get my way with a meltdown, shows me I can do that again as a last resort to get my way.

But there does need to be some balance with some things. If it is sensory overload, then I need to speak up and signal that I am needing to get out before it gets to melting point. A number of sensory meltdowns result from poor communication between what my body senses, my thoughts and also verbalizing it at the right time, not when it is too late. A good example was one day a few years ago, my feet were aching from shopping. Rather than let my grandma know that my feet were hurting and I needed to go home, I kept on walking. Eventually it got to the point I couldn't stand to walk. I ended up throwing a nasty fit in the parking lot when I realized something I wanted I'd have to go back in the store and get myself.

The meltdown of course angered my grandma and perplexed me. My initial feelings were anger towards my grandma. But after breaking it all down, I figured out it was my hurting feet I was upset with, not so much my grandma. She just happened to get the brunt of it because she was there and I reached my last straw. After finding out what size I should wear, getting proper fitting shoes, and even some perscription inserts, I've been able to shop better. If I go by myself it also reduces another potential meltdown trigger and that's getting separated from whoever I am with. Waiting is still another huge stress for me, and waiting in a crowded busy store is no exception.