Can anyone help?

We have a 4 year old son who has just begun school this week, recently he was diagnosed with aspergers syndrome.  over the last 2 months his behaviour and sleep have become increasingly worse. He is verbally and physically abusive he almost goes into a blind rage and does not even seem to know exactly what he is doing. This can happen about 4/5 times a day and the uncertainty with his mood lasts for days. the last 2 weeks have been an absolute nightmare we are guessing the changes that are surrounding him at the moment are probably a major factor however sometimes there does not seem to be any particular reason to start him off. he seems to be enjoying school so far. We just do not know what to do when he goes uncontrollable any more nothing works. Please can someone help us with any advice we want to be able to help him so we do not feel like we are in a constant battle field. Thank You.

[juliema]

I don't think my reply will really be much help...but...

My son is almost 4 and just started preschool. His Dr. recenly advised us to test for Asp. Because of the changes with preschool and his new schedule, my son is acting ot as well. Preschool sometimes is an absolute joke. I feel your pain. Good luck. I'm very interested to hear more about what works and doesn't work with your son. It really helps me when I hear about kids around my son's age. One question, what do you mean that his sleep has been increasingly worse? He not sleeping or is he sleeping more? My son has recently been needing more sleep and if he doesn't have the right amount of rest than he's a total mess, its never been this bad.

Good luck. I pray every day for people out there that have the same stresses that I do with my son.

-j

[twinkleblazzer]

Just a thought from a mom who has been there...but now as a 15 yr. old and 21 yr old with asperger's....
When my oldest was going through this at about 6yr old...she was raging and out of control at times...I had no idea how to help her because I didn't know what was wrong...or according to her everything seemed to be wrong. Anyway, as she got older she was able to tell me all the issues she was dealing with at the time. One HUGE thing was her over stimulation due to being overly sensitive to feeling things on her body. That could include uncomfortable clothes, textures of things around her and even the temperature of the room she is in. We were not able to figure all these things out for a few years as she was able to learn more about her sensitivities and could tell me what was bothering her. She was in no way acting out for attention nor was she a "bad" kid and she DID NOT need to be punished....that is so hard to do when  you see your kid acting out, especially when others are watching...like in the store etc.

So...one thing that may help is to take your kids to an Occupational Therapist and have them help you figure out what their sensitivities are and help them learn ways to deal with them...since they will have them all their life. The sooner you learn them and learn was to work around them...life will be soooo much better.

ALSO...both my kids with Asperger's need more sleep than most people...about 9-10 hours a night. Seems they need more when they are teens also. But getting this much sleep, and letting them wake up on their own when possible, makes the day go so much better. Also, my oldest takes meds to help her sleep because she has a hard time getting to sleep...
Oh ya...don't forget to have them feel the sheets and blankets and have them pick them out....feel and smell makes a huge difference in there sleep, laundry detergent and fabric softener even affects their feeling/smelling of the clothes, sheets, your clothes too if they smell them.
An Occupational Therapist will be able to help them in so many ways...see one that is familiar with Autism and Asperger's.
Oh ya...again...don't forget the noises in your house...tv is sometimes making buzzing sounds...as well as the lights...even if you can't hear them...for some reason they can....Everything overstimulates...many times we go with no lights on in the house.
Hope this helps in some way.
Bless you both.
Take care,
Carolyn

[peterpan1]

Thank you to you both for you comments that are very much appreciated.

Im glad in one way that I now know that other people go through the same anxieties ad stresses as we do every day. His sleep is generally bad through the night he will sometimes take ages to fall asleep and sometimes go down quite quickly, but he always wakes during the night several times. He thinks that he can hear things or things are in his room etc... So what you said Twinkleblazzer is very interesting and we will look at taking that on board and about the occupational therapist. He has numerous fears as well so I think that does not help, but again he has sensory problems as well which we feel reading your response has made us realise that even more, he hates the doors open into the garden, and hates wearing certain clothes where we thought he was just being awkward maybe not, which makes us feel bad that we had not connected it. He also has a thing about the bath he hates showers but even worse than that can not bear standing up in the bath to get washed or to get out he says its to cold, the mornings are a nightmare in house and it takes so long for him to get ready for school. He also kicks off around the freezer or chilled areas in the  supermarket, but also really feels the heat too, but at least now this seems to be making a little more sense. So many things to learn about to try to help him. The doctor had put him on melatonin for his sleep but that made him even more aggitated, what med is your daughter on would you recommend anything to try?

Thank you so much for taking the time to send a message back.  Julieam let me know also how you get on with your son as well..

Take Care all

Sarah xxx

[specialmom]

Hello,  I have a son with sensory integration disorder.  I can't say enough about occupational therapy.  We've been doing it for about a year and it has helped beyond belief.  Some of his tactile (feeling) issues went away completely after a month of therapy.  His behavior has gotten so much better as well where many have no idea he has a delay at this point.  He is 5 and just started kindergarten and things have been going well.  We do a full load of sensory activities which keep him regulated and feeling "just right" every day.  I get a little tired, but it has helped so much that I'll do it forever if I have to.  If you woud like any ideas for this, let me know.

My son can also get reved up so that he can't settle down to sleep.  Oh my, we had a three week period a few months ago that I didn't think we would make it through due to his not being able to fall asleep.  He would also rise early(not his nature) and wake up at night.  Our ot suggested the usual----  calm atmosphere at night, warm bath, snack, story, cozy bed.  She suggested that I hold him tightly and rock him as well.  They make weighted blankets which we don't have but I have a weighted stuffed animal that I laid on his chest.  We also will "roll him out".  Lay him on the ground face first and get a large exercise ball and 'steam roll' over him.  You can also lay him on the ground face first and make a sandwich or taco out of him with couch pillows gently pressing.  This is very calming to the nervous system.  Also, what about a fan for soft noise?  My son did not like this but our ot suggested it.  I did put a fan out in the hall to block noise that might wake him up during the night or in the morning.  

What I love about our ot is that she will strategize with me for whatever issue we are having.  It has been a valuable tool dealing with issues as they arise.  Insurance will pay for ot usually but have certain places you can go.  It really is worth doing.  Lots of luck to you----  it is quite a journey being a parent, isn't it?

[twinkleblazzer]

Thanks for your reply...ask questions anytime...
My daughter is on Trazadone...it's actually also used as an antidepressant...but she only takes it when she needs it for sleep...at the lowest dose. haven't noticed any side effects.
Also...I used to get my daughter out of the tub by heating up her towel in the dryer and greeting her with a warm towel that she loved to step out and get surrounded in...It was a great way to get a hug in too...when she didn't like to be hugged. :)
Got to go...take care...
Carolyn...PS...my daughter's name is Sarah too...Great name!

[peterpan1]

Hi,

Thanks for your comments I think I am definately going to look into occupational therapy, and for all your comments I am taking them all on board. My husband and I went to a meeting today about joining an early bird plus group (not sure if you have one) but it is where a small group of parents along with a professional who deals with children with an autistic syndrome come together and share their experiences along with ways to help us deal with all the stresses and situations that we go through every day. they give support with the schools and also pay a visit to the house so I  think it is definately worth doing it is only for 3 months so hopefully we are able to get on the november course.

Specialmom - I would definately be interested in any ideas you have for the sensory issues that would be brilliant.

Carolyn (hope thats ok to use your name) thank you for your suggestion and continuing support.

Do either of you have any ideas/strategys on how to reassure or lighten the mojor feelings of  fears. harvey has so many fears from death, doctors, bugs, noises, I have tried so many different thinks by slowly trying to introduce him to different bugs, to books explaining about things, trying to explain about death not an easy one to do simply!! Harvey's biggest fear seems to be being alone, without us I am not sure that hee is bothered whether he has friends around him but me and his dad seems to be a devastating thought to him. he is so young to worry about these things. Is it a common fear amoungst asperger children do you know?

And you are absolutely right it is definately not easy being a parent!!!  

Take care hope to here from you soon

sarah x