Asperger's Syndrome Community
I just found out i have aspergers. I have nobody.
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This forum is an un-mediated, patient-to-patient forum for questions and support regarding Asperger Syndrome issues such as: Balance, Behavioral Issues, Causes, Characteristics, Classification, Clumsiness, Communication, Diagnosis, Gait – Walking, Genetics, Medications. Parenting, Prognosis, Restricted and repetitive interests and behavior, School Issues, Screening Sleep Disorders, Social interaction, Speech and language, Treatment

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I just found out i have aspergers. I have nobody.

Nobody loves me. I know nobody. No possible source of support at all. I just found out i have aspergers and my family is as cruel to me as ever. Seeking treatment would be hell because it takes so long. An hour of scheduled kindness just makes the time hiding in my room feel worse.
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Avatar_m_tn
My mom is the only person who will talk to me and all she does is yell and hurt me. No car to escape. Nobody who will answer the phone for me. No money.

I want somebody to hug me right now, but i dont think it will happen for months. Maybe xmas..
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1173196_tn?1292920090
I'd like to encourage you to seek treatment. Many Aspies go on to lead very productive lives with the proper treatment. You need to get out on your own. Good Luck.
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Avatar_m_tn
it took me 15 years of misdiagnosis  before i DIAGNOSED MYSELF. Then it took about half a year to get some tests done. I have no trust for them and they dont deserve it. I get the crummy government insurance doctors who try to give you the cheapest diagnosis for them. I still hav e treatment every 2 months or so. But, so far, all i have done during them is beg to be tested or trusted.

Today my mom's boyfriend broke my hand with a broom. She yells at me for it. You should have said, "people with aspergers, WHO HAVE SOMEBODY WHO CARES ABOUT THEM often live productive lives.

I have the opposite. Everybody I know is violently unsupportive. I wish more than anything that the times when i was little that my mom threatened to call the "looney bin" for me saying i wished i was dead wouldnt have been tricks.. They would have taken me from her..
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1262322_tn?1287416386
Hi there,

I'm an Aspie too! Asperger's however seems the least of your problems. How is your hand? Can't children services help you? Or a teacher? First care about yourself! Other people are different and in later life, if you are productive or not is up to you. We Aspies are good on our own, but even we need someone to talk to sometimes. If treatment is difficult for you and you have trouble interacting with people or just understanding them, here is what I did: I watched lots of TV, studying faces and reactions and through that learned to understand people better. I found some character who was liked on TV and "imitated" her as best I could in order to get on with people better. Keep watching and listening to people, read good novels or anything with relationships of any kind in it. It will help with your Asperger's and living on the "wrong planet". Feel free to talk to me.
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Avatar_m_tn
I think i already figured out how to understand people out of necessity during my childhood. I'm 22 years old so no school. College was terrifying. Not to mention, a beaurocratic nightmare.

I was a stereotypical aspie when i was young, but now I crave human contact badly. I read a lot when i was little. Only read one novel since harry potter ended. Day of the Triffids. It was too sad. I've read most of the classics. My favorite book is gulliver's travels.

I always thought I understood everybody, but now that I know I have aspergers, i am noticing mistakes I make. The problem is that people dont understand me I think.

Does having aspergers mean I deserve special treatment? I get yelled at for every little thing I do wrong. Am I wrong for thinking my family should try to not stress me out, even if I did something wrong? I get nagged, complained, and yelled at whenever I try to talk to somebody. I'm not even doing anything bad. It's just things like not picking up after myself and not being able to afford to pay as much money as my mom wants. She yells at me so that I have to give money to her to go away and when I run out of money she yells at me even more for not being able to pay for things. I only have 800$ a month. Even though I am an adult, I think a little soothing would do more than any medications, but I didnt even get that when I was a child.'

When my great grandma died a few months ago, I waited all day to be picked up for the funeral and my brother never picked me up. It turns out my "sweet old grandma" told him not to pick me up... My great grandma is the only family member I have that I would want to pay respects to.., Even when she had full blown dementia and I grew a beard, she still remembered me ;_;

Please don't think I'm being rude by not accepting your offer to chat. I dont want to take the risk. Had a friend over this website once, but she disappeared off the grid. Abandoned by the only person who truly knew how I felt by abandonment..

I dont feel like I misunderstand the world. It feels like nobody else does. I take pride in how logical I am.

I think I am traumatized from school because when I had a job for a while, it brought back the type of anxiety that I haven't felt since school.

I know what I want to do with my life, but my family tells me it's stupid and I'll never do it. I probably will never do it because I have to do it 100% by myself.. Last time I said something I would like to do, my dad laughed at me. At xmas I said i wanted to write for saturday night live..Then i ruined xmas by telling him to graduate highschool before he gives me career advice. I'm pretty sure he has aspergers too.

I guess this rant is because I'm on vicodin right now. Really bad tooth abcess (abscess).
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1262322_tn?1287416386
Sorry, little misunderstanding there. 22? I thought you must be a teenager! :-)
Take your life in your own hands, if your family isn't helpful and only stresses you out. Stress causes Aspies to have more symptoms. Understanding and misunderstanding goes both ways. We do not deserve special treatment in my understanding. But we can ask for the same respect normal people want from us. This takes a lot of effort and consideration. We are not them and they are not us - so total understanding is not possible - not even between normal people.
I did not offer friendship to you - I do not know you, no offense. I offered to talk about Asperger's. That is all I meant.
However, your main problems do not really seem to have much to do with Asperger's. So... try to sort one out at a time and don't take yourself and everything around you quite so seriously. Good luck, I won't be answering again, because of the logical conclusion that I cannot help you.
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Avatar_m_tn
ok...

anybody know what my non asperger problems are and how to solve them?

By special treatment I meant that, if I'm being yelled at, they should stop when i start crying and tell them they are causing me an anxiety attack. Usually they yell at me more and more and more. When I told my mom I had aspergers, she said something to the affect of,"see! I told you I was a good mom, it was YOUR fault."

My older brother has lived with my grandma since he was 18 for free, my cousin lives with my mom's dad for free, yet my mom wants all my money when i get my check each month.. It's not like the money I pay he goes towards anything. She already lost the house and I'm going to be homeless in a few months. I feel like, since nobody looks out for me, that I should stop being so generous.  It made me feel really guilty but I didnt pay my mom rent this month. She treated just as badly as she did when I payed.. It feels like being a nice person with my money is being irresponsible.

My mom has boyfriends and stuff who will take care of her when she's down, but I dont have anybody. Is it bad of me to keep my money?



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1173196_tn?1292920090
I understand that you feel very unsupported and are disappointed in how your childhood turned out. The fact is that you are an adult now and you need to move past these things. At 22, you have to take responsibility for what your life is right now. You need to find a job and get away from your family. I do not believe that Aspies should be treated differently. They should be supported like any child, but in order to raise a child that will be able to function in society, you have to treat an Aspie the same as the other children in the house. Good Luck with whatever you decide.
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Avatar_m_tn
but I'm NOT responsible fr what my life is now. NOT AT ALL.

how the hell is somebody with aspergers and no resume and NOBODY TO HELP HIM going to get a job? you might as well tell me I deserve to be homeless.

And how am i supposed to be an adult if i never had a childhood?

I CANT FIX MY LIFE ALONE.

and **** society, your child should be more important.

good luck with whatever i decide? what makes you think my decisions hjave any affect on my life? I DECIDED to go to college. I DECIDED to never do any drugs or alcohol, i DECIDED i want a job. It doesnt work. You act like i havent even tried.


You can't move passed anything when you CANT MOVE.


I dont think any of you understand the concept of being alone, to the extent I am.
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Avatar_m_tn
screw this, i was better off burning myself
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1173196_tn?1292920090
I will not be responding to you after this. You are abusive toward people who are trying to encourage you. You can not move forward until you stop feeling sorry for yourself.
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Avatar_m_tn
*sizzle*

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1262322_tn?1287416386
Hi again,

I said, I would not be back and the way you are acting I shouldn't. However, you asked what your non Asperger problems are, does this mean you believe all problems with your family are down to your Aspergers?
Look into this if you really believe that:
Many years of undiagnosed Aspergers can put quite a strain on families.
Social skills
Perception, find out how people perceive you and why, people with Aspergers are not always perceived the way they feel they are
Also, you may not perceive others the way they mean things
People are usually much to busy with their own problems to see yours
Instead of talking at people try to listen and talk to them
People with Aspergers have normally not much trouble finding a job, we are only slightly different, we are just as capable as other people. We learn to deal with social stuff or whatever we find hard. Now that you are diagnosed you can work on all that. Stop getting yourself in the "Everybody is out to get me or whatever state". We Aspies are quite good at that, however it gets you nowhere. It is much easier to acknoledge you are different and let things go than to get worked up about them.
By the way, I run my own business after years of working for people. I was diagnosed as an adult. I've been hurt, I had nobody, I made it anyway. Life is good.
Take your time with this, it's meant to help you.


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Avatar_f_tn
Feeling sorry for yourself is the worst you can do. Go out from your mind, be in the real world and try to not think in your feelings so much. Believe me I felt just like you until I found that that way people go away from you even more. It's been a long way and I don't have friends yet but at least I don't feel so bad now and I got rid from all those fake friends. I try to smile everyday and now more people talk to me. Try it. You are already in this life try to be the best you can.
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Avatar_m_tn
Hi Gumby. Don't listen to Karen on what she has to say, when she said, "Aspies should not be treated differently." When you asked if parents should yell at Aspies, and no, no one should ever yell at an Aspie. People should be careful about treating an Aspie, and we Aspies are emotionally sensitive, much more than most people. Believe me, I know, and when I have been yelled at, I was shaken, and stuttering, and also tense. I understand if we do something wrong(like doing bad things kind of wrong) and they yell at us, and that's one thing, but if it's for anything else, than that's a different story. I know you didn't do anything wrong, and you should never have been yelled at. My father yelled at me when I was a kid, and I was very upset, and my stepfather also yelled at me when I was a kid. I was shaken, and I was sent off crying. Parents should never yell at their Aspie children.  If anyone tells you that it's ok for parents to yell at their Aspie children, they can go screw themselves. I KNOW A LOT about Asperger's, and I have done extensive research, and I got to know myself better through this research. You are not stupid, mean, or anything, and the yelling was apart of the abuse you suffered from. But you should still apologize. I want to be your friend, for real :). That other Aspie said he wanted to be your friend, but he said no, and he meant it in another way. I'm not attacking him or anything, but I'm just saying, and I would be happy to be your friend :). You shouldn't have to put up with this crap(your family did to you), and I totally understand you. I felt hopeless and helpless, and I know that we Aspies can't think for ourselves, and we need help to get through situations like that. What I meant by thinking for ourselves, is that we can't think for ourselves in everything, and we need to be taught some things, in order to function normally. An Aspie is like a plant that cannot grow, and it grows differently, from most plants, unless if the right treatment is given, and needs tenderness, love, and care. Just like any child. Aspies need the help and guidance they can get to grow up like a normal person. That's not to say that we Aspies are not normal, but you know what I mean by normal. Aspies should be treated differently, because they function differently. If they receive the right treatment, they'll grow up to be successful Aspies. Your family has put you in a difficult situation, and I am very sorry for what you have been through. :( No one should treat you like this, and I hope that you'll find someone loving who would take you in, and help you grow. :( Is there anyone you know of that is really kind to you who can help you?
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Avatar_m_tn
Sorry, I meant to say whether people should yell at us Aspies for doing something wrong or not. I know that when confronted with doing something wrong, people should be gentle when telling us that we did wrong, and tell us never to do it again. But I'm still confused. I have OCD, and I have doubting issues, so this may be part of it. UGGHH!! I'm so confused!!
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